Chapter 5
When Bo called a couple of days later, it was to tell Steve that he found a great office available down by the waterfront. Not too far from the pub, it had two good-sized rear rooms and a smaller one for a receptionist up front. Having the day off, Bo had contact the realtor and gone in to view it. He had been scouting around for a few days already when he chanced upon the rental sign and made the necessary arrangements for a walk through. It took him of all five minutes to feel he had found the perfect location. All that was left was for Steve and John to see it too.
Steve delayed his lunch until much later in the afternoon. He took the rest of the day off and hurried to where Bo was. The offices were part of a refurbished warehouse that looked over the harbor. While the bottom level was half occupied by a restaurant and coffee shop, the entire second floor was filed with several small companies. The space itself was simple and unfurnished. The floors were hardwood and the walls merely painted off white. Shared bathroom were at the end of the hall and no elevators but two stairwells at both ends of the hallway.
Steve loved it immediately as it suited his style more than the one Elliot had suggested to him. When he mentioned to John the offered space, the man merely grinned. All he would say was that Bo wouldn�t like it much. But when Steve pushed him on his own opinion, the man continued to grin. The office in question had a very attractive lay out, but it would suit a man more of Victor�s tastes than theirs. Hearing the big Greek�s name was all Steve needed to know, he would never had rented it, even if Lansing�s suite of rooms weren't on the same floor.
"So who gets an office to himself?" Bo asked as they looked around again. Both offices had nice views of the harbor. The windows opened up to let the sea air in and the sound of the ship horns sounded off from time to time.
"No one." Steve told him as he grinned at the thought of having his own room. "We'll rotate, take turns. It's only fair."
Bo had already visualized where his desk would go. He also imagined his name on the door, and Steve's and John's on the other. "And what if we're all in at once, mister smarty. What then?"
"Well... we can always look for a three room office if you want." He walked around again then headed out the door to the other room. It looked exactly the same. "This place is fine with me... but we don't have to take it."
Wrinkling his face, Bo slapped him on the back and just said he was joking. "Naw, you're right. It will probably be just be two of us over here at the most."
As Steve stood near the center of the room, he took several deep breaths and let them out slowly. He was trying to get a feel for the place, waiting to see if something there would make him uncomfortable or uneasy. The whole idea of starting a business was rather frightening really, but that fear never came to him. Maybe it was because it was really Portia's money he was using that losing it wouldn't hurt him. He knew she regarded the fund left for him as his severance pay, but it wasn't really. Call it what you want, but the simple truth was that it was a gift. Perhaps born out of guilt or regret, but it was a gift all the same.
The longer Steve stood, sensing the air, the room, the more peaceful he became. Smiling at nothing, Bo caught the strange expression on his face and walked up to him confused. "What's with you? Your all smiley today."
"Just in a good mood I guess."
"Uh huh! It's probably because of Kayla. My sister's the only one who can bring a smile to your ugly mug."
Grinning back at him, Steve nodded slightly as he walked passed him and returned to the front room. "So had John seen the place?" He looked up and saw the bright lighting, thinking perhaps about having that changed.
Bo looked to where his focus was and glanced briefly at the light fixture before heading for the front door. "I called him, but he said it doesn't matter what we chose. Any place is fine with him." He opened the door and stood there a moment when he heard his name called out.
Walking towards him carrying a dark-haired angel, Hope smiled easily at her husband as he opened the door wide to let her in. She gave him a big kiss then brought their daughter up to her father as he took her in his arms and placed several small kisses all over her cheeks. Cooing to her, the baby's gurgle sounded through the air as Steve strode over to Hope and enveloped her in his arms for a big hug.
"I didn't know you were coming down." Bo told his wife as she took the baby back from him. Steve leaned down to gently rub the soft curls on her head and placed a kiss there.
"We were in the neighborhood. Thought we might have dinner at the pub." Hope looked around the office, looking well pleased with what she saw. "Not bad, not bad... but it could definitely use some decorating. These bare walls are so... bland."
"We can work on that later Hope." Steve told her. "Right now, the first thing we need to do is just set up the office and get some furniture and equipment in."
"Yeah. We need desks, chairs, some file cabinets." Bo mentally went down the list of office supplies. "We need to set up the computer system too, get a network going."
Hope walked around, standing just in front of a window as Ciara waved her hands wildly in her mother's arms. "So you've decided this is the place?"
"Seems as good as any... and the location's not bad." Her husband added.
When his phone went off, the ringing sound echoed loudly in the small room scaring his daughter with the high-pitched sound. Hope lifted the baby to her chest, gently rubbing her backside and head as Bo exited into the hallway to answer his call. Steve lingered inside watching his sister-in-law sooth the baby's fears when the light from the window came streaming inside, casting a bright halo around Hope's head. For a moment Steve was temporarily blinded by the bright glare, but when the clouds returned and partially covered the sun, the softness of the light softly illuminated the semi darkness of the office.
Steve stood transfixed, hearing Hope as she whispered soft words to Ciara, but when he looked up at her, it was a different woman he saw standing by the window. He blinked once, clearing the light from his eyes as he took a step back and re-entered another time.
He had been ordered to just guard them and so far the third Gabriel had barely moved more than a few inches from where he stood. Steve watched her from a few feet away as she stood uneasily by the large window. Perhaps he should have the two of them wait further in the room, away from the exposed space the windows afforded. She had looked often in his direction, but he kept his glance down. There were tears in her eyes the last time he looked. Her weeping bothered him still and he wondered if she would still continue to cry throughout the rest of their journey.
The room had slowly started to dim, as the afternoon sun had started to descend. It wouldn't be long before he would need to turn on the lights, but not yet. The first Gabriel told him to be cautious and not to attract attention. For the last fifteen minutes he had left their prisoners with him as he went to check on their contact. Steve knew it would not be long before he returned. The house was empty, practically devoid of furniture except for a couple of chairs and small table. Their stay there was to be short lived.
A cold breeze came through the small opening in the door behind him and he shivered slightly from the cold. She felt it too as she sniffed and pulled her coat tighter around her. She leaned down and pulled at the boy's winter scarf, wrapping it high around his neck as he heard his sniffles too. When she looked up, she caught him watching as Steve quickly turned his head and looked away. He wasn't as cold hearted as the first Gabriel. Even with all his training, his eye would still soften and his face grows relaxed when no one was watching him.
Taking a deep breath, she decided to try once more and approached him. Her steps were light and soft, but he heard her and kept his glance in the other direction. When she reached his side, she said nothing at first, waiting for him to turn around. It was several long moments before he finally spoke.
"Go back to your son." He said as little as possible, leaving no doubts as to the situation in which they were placed.
"Will you not help us?" She asked him again.
There was a slight accent to her words and her voice shook slightly, betraying the fear and worry inside her. Steve looked down at the floor as she took a step closer and started to raise her hand towards him. The shadows of her movements were reflected on the floor as he looked up and faced her directly. Her eyes were full of unshed tears, her face deathly pale and in pain. She almost placed her hand on his arms, but stopped herself and lowered it again. Her lips were pressed tightly together as she inhaled, shakily drawing in a deep breath.
"Go back to your son." He told her again. The third Gabriel's words were simply spoken and he saw the light of hope leaving her eyes.
The young boy whimpered again as they both looked in his direction and she quickly returned to take him in her arms. He was tall for his age, his head reaching just below his mother's chin. But she was a tiny woman to begin with, her slight frame, making her appear even smaller and younger than she really was. Her dark hair fell across her shoulders as she embraced her son and he heard the boy cry. The child's blue eyes peeked from beneath his mother's embrace and focused hard at him. No longer hiding behind the pretense of false courage, he had cried too the last few hours as she whispered to him again and again to be brace and strong.
"Smile for me... you will see. Your father will find us... he will."
She had repeated the same words often and it calmed him. But more and more he would falter and she had to reassure him again, while she herself grew doubtful. She turned to face him a moment as her own tears started to fall and she gathered her son closer to her heart. Taking a few steps towards the window, he heard her whisper the words again as they looked out and watched the snow fall.
He had noticed it too while they had stood, the small white flecks falling, as the cold seeped into the room. Looking quickly at his watch, he knew the first Gabriel would return soon and they could leave this place. Steve didn't like it there. He had been left all alone with them for a few hours now; much longer than he thought was necessary. Perhaps he was being tested, that his superior was just outside watching and waiting to see if he would fail. Blowing his breath out, he saw the while puffs leave his mouth as a cold shiver ran through him and he shifted in his stance.
The two had not moved from where they stood by the window and he was glad of it. They were far enough away that he would have to see their faces up close. The room had grown dimmer still, as several more minutes ticked by. When he heard the sobbing again, he wasn't sure which was it was. The sound was hushed, as thought the bearer was holding in the tears and pain. But in the empty room, it sounded strong and loud. He saw her shoulder sag slightly as her son moved in her arms and tried to wrap his arms around her neck. He turned away then and looked to the door, but it did no good. The third Gabriel still heard the crying.
"Steve... Steve... are you okay? Steve..."
"Steve!" Hope called him again.
Looking at her, he felt his breath grow shaky as she placed a hand on his shoulder and slightly shook him awake. The baby's face was turned away from him and all he could see was the crown of dark curls on her head. It was the same dark shade as the other one and he gasped quickly when he realized it. Hope was watching him with worried eyes. Her brows drew together as she shifted the baby in her arms and started swinging her in her arms. Ciara made small noises, chewing on her hand while her mother placed a kiss upon her head while. Hope's hand cupped her back and head as she continued to watch him.
"What's wrong? You look out of it."
"I... I don't know." He told her. "I was remembering... something." Steve shook his head slightly and felt a little dizzy. He walked over to the window and opened it wider letting some air come in. Taking a few deep breaths, he started to feel better while Hope came up to his side again.
"You couldn't hear me. I kept calling your name... but it was like you were in some kind of trance."
Nodding at her, he mentions his memories as a Gabriel. "I was remembering something... a mission I was sent on."
"Bo told me you about that. Are you okay?"
"I'm not su..." He lets his words trail off as he leans against the wall and looks directly at her. "I think I may have done something..."
"What? What is it Steve?"
"I don't know. I just feel it... inside of me."
"But what did you recall just now? Was it something bad?"
Letting out a sigh, he pushed himself off the wall and takes a few steps away. He stops and tries to picture the woman's face in his head, but all he could remember was her crying. Even now, he could still hear her sobs. "It was for Stefano, Hope." He turned quickly as she approached him. "I was sent on that mission for Stefano."
"Stefano?"
Nodding his head, he sees her look at him in sympathy but he can recall anything else. The feeling lingers instead, somewhere near his heart. Bo re-enters the room then and sees Hope's worried face. "Hope?" He questions her. "Something wrong? Is it the baby?"
"No, were both fine. It's... Steve." She tells him as Steve faces the both of them.
Bo looks to his friend and sees his pale complexion. Giving his wife a quick look, he takes hold of one of Steve's arms and starts leading him to the door. "We can stop at the pub. Maybe you just need to eat something. You did miss lunch."
But Steve just shakes his head at them. "I'm going to the hospital. I need to see Kayla... to talk to her."
"Okay, Man. Look I'll drive you over there."
"No you don't have too. I'm okay now." Shaking off his brother-in-laws grip, Steve pulls his arm away as Bo continues to watch him.
"It's no trouble, bro."
"Steve, maybe you should let Bo take you." Hope told him.
"Hey, come on you two. Really... I'm fine. I just need to see my wife." Reaching into his pocket for his car keys, he opens the door and starts to walk out as they follow him. "Look... sorry to run off, but I think I need to talk to Kayla about this."
"Fine, all right." Bo tells him. "I'll call you later then. I just spoke to the realtor and told him we're taking the place."
"Okay. Sounds good. You do that." He smiles at the two of them and quickly leans over to give Hope a kiss, then gives another to his niece. Slapping his hand against Bo's arm, he tells both good byes as he walks quickly down the hall, disappearing at the start of the stairs.
"What was that all about?" Bo turned to his wife as she looked worriedly at Steve's retreating figure.
"He started to remember something Bo. It was the mission he was sent on for Stefano."
"For DiMera?" When Hope nodded back, he shook his head slightly. Ciara turned at the sound of her father's voice and gave him a toothy grin and he smiled back at her.
"For a few minutes, he seemed like he was in some kind of trance. I'm not sure, but he may have remembered something... bad."
"Did he say what?"
"No, he didn't. He wouldn't say anything." Hope told him as he reached to take his daughter. "He just looked scared."
**********
When Steve got to Kayla�s office, her assistant mentioned Dr. Johnson was still seeing patients. A cold sensation started in the pit of his stomach and quickly rose. Thanking the nurse, he walked in and sat down at her desk. There were piles of patient files just off to the side and several medical journals arranged neatly next to it. Steve picked up one of the pictures Kayla had and smiled. It was an old, taken even before they were married. His fingers traced the curve of her face as he remembered all they had been through.
Sometimes it seemed that those adventures never ended. Quiet, simple moments never came in large quantities and if he wasn�t in some kind of trouble of mess, he knew it was just a matter of time before he would be. Of course, these days, Bo would most likely be there in the thick of it with him. Steve put the picture back and glanced at the other one of Stephanie. He took that picture himself Christmas morning.
Since remembering, he had taken so many of the two of them, Stephanie had started to complain that he was turning into a paparazzi photographer. It was hard for him to explain why, but the need was strong. It was almost as though he was sometimes afraid he would forget again, even if he knew that would not happen. Twirling the chair around, he got up and started pacing up and down the room.
The noises from the outside were barely audible as he walked in big circles around her desk. The sound of his shoes and his deep breaths followed one after the other and the restlessness grew. Stopping a moment, he leaned against the chair and stared out the small bookcase in the corner. Steve could barely make out the medical books there, but he kept his attention on them anyway.
They were probably a boring read, well, at least to him. For a few seconds, he contemplated whether or not to get one and just let his mind wander knowing he wouldn't understand all that medical jargon. He got to his feet again and made an attempt to go there, but something blocked his way.
The rug had slid up and bunched up around his boots as he kicked at it and sent it flying. Puffs of dust rose up in the air, as he saw the scuffed mark dirt floor. It had grown darker still and he wondered if something had happened. The child was watching him as his mother looked out the window. His blues eyes followed his every move as Steve took a few steps to his right and sat down on one of the two chairs. The first Gabriel should have been back already.
By the time he was ready to light one of the candles, the first Gabriel returned, banging the door as it swung wide and hit against the wall. Steve knew he liked to do that for effect. Tall and buff, he took too much pleasure in intimidating others. The man gave him a scathing look as he forgot himself and remained sitting in the chair. Standing quickly to his feet, Steve frowned back as the first Gabriel reached for the boy and pulled him out of his mother�s arms.
His small cry of pain shattered the woman�s composure as she cried out to her captors. "Please don�t hurt him."
"There�s no need for that." Steve interceded as the other man sneered back at him.
There was an unpleasant smile about his face as he pushed the boy towards the doorway. His mother had started crying again as she tried to hold him but the first Gabriel held her back. "One at a time. We leave this house one at a time." He told them as he turned to the child. His large blue eyes looked up at him as he tentatively took a step back. The first Gabriel reached out with his hand to grab the boy�s shoulder, but the child just sidestepped away and moved closer to the door. He gave them all nervous look before bolting and running out the door.
"Jonathan!" His mother cried after him.
Steve stood, temporarily shocked by the boy�s action as the other man moved to the doorway and began to laugh. "I so� love a chase." He heard him say as he followed the child.
It was early evening now and the sun had full set as the darkness descended quickly leaving shadows behind all corners. She tried pulling at the man, begging for mercy, but the first Gabriel just shrugged her arms off him.
"Please� he�s just a child! Don�t hurt him.!"
He smiled down at her a moment, before turning to face him. "Take her to the car." He told him as he started to flex his hands. "I won't be long."
"Please!" She begged again but her pleas fell on deaf ears.
She turned to him then and grabbed at his jacket pulling down hard. "Stop him, he'll hurt my child... he'll hurt... You're the only one who can."
"He won't do anything." Steve answered her back. "He wouldn't dare." Taking her hands, he loosened her grip and pushed her slightly away. After a moment, he reached for her arm and started to take her out to the car but she broke out in tears again. "Why won't you help us? We haven't done anything! We're innocent... were innocent!"
"I ... can't... I.... just go to the car." He began to pull harder as she tripped slightly then took a couple of steps.
The sound of the gun fire stopped both of them as Steve looked out into the street where the other man went. He heard the young child's scream and felt his blood grow cold. His heart started pumping faster and faster as another shot was heard and the woman beside him freed herself from his grasp and pushed at him. Steve lost his footing and fell back against the door while she ran out into the streets to find her child.
When he got to his feet, another scream sounded, this one in pain as a third and final shot rang through the air. He ran quickly to where the sounds came from and slid on the snow. When he recovered, Steve saw the scene before him as the first Gabriel stood over the terrible mess he just made. Walking slowly over to them, he felt his heart grow numb as the first drops of blood tarnished the snow near him.
Falling down to his knees, Steve banged his leg against the waste paper basket by Kayla desk and sent it contents scattering on the floor. The tears fell from his eye as he looked to his hands and saw them shake uncontrollably. The smell of the gun powder still filled his nose as he tried to move. The afternoon sun came shining through casting a bright glare of light at his head when he shakily rose to his feet. He turned his face towards the window a moment, letting himself be temprarily blinded as he took several deep breaths.
Kayla entered then to find Steve with his back towards her. She smiled deeply and called out to him. "Steve!"
Brushing a strand of her from her eyes she walked towards him and placed her files down on the desk. When she saw the fallen waste basket, she frowned slightly then looked towards her husband again. He still had not turned , but stood quiet and still at the window. For several seconds, the harsh silence echoed around them until Kayla saw the slight tremors of his body and walked over to turn him to her. His cheek was damp from where the tears fell, leaving several silvery thin trails. He looked back at her with such a lost and sad expression as his eye half closed and he swallowed uncomfortably.
She reached to cup his face as he lifted his own hand to capture hers and held it against his lips, placing a kiss there. The words were so lodged in his throat that he couldn't bring himself to speak yet, but just pulled his wife into his arms for the moment. Kayla ran her fingers through his hair, comforting him as Steve sobbed against her for something lost so many years ago.
It was several more minutes before he let her pull away from him and he sat uneasily down in her chair. "What happened, Baby?" She asked him, as he kept his glance down at his lap, but held her hands in his. She kneeled on the floor in front of him as he lifted his head and told her what he remembered. The cold, the darkness that filled the room, the never ending tears and sobs, the innocent blue eyes that watched Steve's everymove, and the screaming, always the screaming.
"She didn't even know why she was being held prisoner, Sweetness. She just kept begging me to help her... and I didn't do anything... nothing!"
"Is it that woman... the one you were supposed to bring to Stefano." He nodded and closed his eye as another tear snuck out.
"It was me and the first Gabriel. The first Gabriel... have you any idea how crazy that name sounds!" He laughed bitterly then and ground at his teeth recalling how they were all addressed. "We had no identity once we became... one of those. I just turned into a number... the third Gabriel."
"Baby... it's all in the past now. You're home... you're Steve Johnson. That's who you've always been."
"But not for those years..." Steve stood up and walked around his wife, standing in the middle of her office. In all the years he was at Lansing's home, not once did anyone call him by his real name. He was always the third Gabriel. Even calling him just Gabriel was unheard of. "I can still see her tears, baby. She cried almost the entire time I was ordered to watch her. And her son? He was eight, maybe nine years old? I saw how hard he tried to act brave, but his eyes were always filled with tears."
"Steve, you can't blame yourself for what happened. You were as much a prisoner as they were."
Turning around quickly and took Kayla by her arms and pulled her towards him. "But I could have done something... I should have!"
"What could you do? They would have punished you instead, maybe even killed you."
He thought for a moment and let the sinking feeling fill him with dread. No, they wouldn't have touched him. He was more important alive than dead. He would have been punished but not killed. "They needed me alive. They were only supposed to train me, then hand me over to DiMera."
Kayla leaned into him and slowly wrapped her hands across his back as she forced him to look back at her. She could feel him shake in her arms and it hurt her to see him so broken. There was one thing he still did not tell her. "Steve...? What happened? You haven't come out and said exactly what you remembered."
Letting out a deep sigh and took several deep breaths first. "I saw blood on the snow after the last gun shot. He stood over them, his gun drawn and the smell of the gun powder was so strong in the air. I had slipped on the snow before I could reach any of them." He stopped for a moment, taking in a shaky breath as Kayla gently urged him to continue. "The child looked back at me, there was so much pain in his eyes. I saw... there was blood on his leg... maybe he was hurt. I couldn't tell right away."
"Go on."
"She was faced down in the snow. Half her body covered his, as though... she was protecting him. When I moved closer, I saw her eyes... they were open wide and staring..." Steve swallowed hard as another tear fell. "She wasn't dead because I saw her hand move... but she was dying. All I could do was stare down at her while the snow turned red from her blood. I did not Sweetness. I did nothing but look. I know it's not my fault she was shot, but... I feel just as guilty."
"But what if she didn't die? You don't remember if she did or not. Maybe she's still alive and the child too!"
"I can only pray she is... that the both of them are out there, hating me with all of their hearts. If anything, I'd rather live with the hatred. I'd be willing to have that than their blood on my hands."
For a long moment they stared at each other as Kayla pulled herself closer. Steve placed his head down on her shoulders, feeling the curve of her belly against him. She felt so small in his arms that he feared it was too much to place this burden on her now. Just a few days ago, she threatened to kick him again if he said one more despairing remark about Elliot Lansing, and now, it was all he could do not to crush her in his arms. She was putting up with so much and all he could do was add more. He needed to find answers, he needed to make all the pain stop, but he was so unsure now. Steve knew he never hurt anyone, he could feel it in his heart. But what he also began to realize was he didn't stop others from getting hurt. He stood by and did nothing. That wasn't Steve Johnson. Steve would never have stood still. That was the actions of the third Gabriel. The third Gabriel watched. He always just watched, and Steve was the third Gabriel. He let himself become that man. He let himself become someone he hated.
Chapter 6