| my poems. |
| It's amazing how poetic a drenching rain can make you. You see things and imagine things you aren't usually inclined to. I went for a walk today, in the pouring rain. Thought it'd help to clear my head, thought it'd help the pain. Nothing will ever be ok now that you won't hold me. I thought of how you love her now as drops stung my face coldly. I'll think until the rain stops, and cry until it starts. Nothing much that rain can do to heal lovers' broken hearts. |
| rain |
| I wish the words you say to me were as simple as they are cruel. That I was worth much more to you, not another plastic tool. A disposable distraction, made to be tossed aside. I wish that I had kept all of this weakness trapped inside. I wish that you had wanted to take your second chance. I wish that you were sickened by her brand of cheap romance. I wonder why I wish, I wish I wouldn't wonder. I wish that all these thoughts of you wouldn't slowly pull me under. |
| disposable distraction |
| I should've given up a long time ago, this effort has gotten me nowhere. I should've let go, should've moved on, But wasn't it you who told me to never give up? Never give up...you gave up. To say I should've is to say I could've. Could've stopped any time, could've just turned away. There's no saying no to you, I was never "ok." I wish I had that hold on you, I wish you had the sense to see that I can't let you go. I wish she would just not exist, No memories, no guilt. No long list of wishes we both could do without. I should have gave up a long time ago But I didn't And I'm still here. |
| "e" for effort |
| The false undone, lie back on me. The bad is over, the worst will come, and when you fall, I'll only run. I can't yet face Just what I've done. I tried so hard, you felt so strange, I took up the list and started again. The false undone, I've nowhere to run... I crossed off your name and threw it away. You were my end, you are my beginning, crosses and questions never the one. The upward war has just been lost, and when you fall I'll be holding the gun. |
| the false undone |
| Just 20 minutes on the phone And my world�s come crashing down. All my wounds ripped back to bleed, All I wanted was to leave this town. Wanted to leave, get away from your lies, From the stars who betrayed me, From the tears in my eyes. Wanted to run from this heartache you made, From you and your hopelessly fucked up charade. But now... I�m stuck. Left to die. Sitting alone, and wondering why. Why did you have to break me so gently? Couldn�t you�ve made it hurt a bit more? I wouldn�t be wondering if you still loved me When logic is saying �nevermore, nevermore.� |
| gently broken |
| How dare you say that I hurt you? How dare you say my words aren�t true? Oh no my dear, you�ve got this wrong. I�ve played your game for far too long. You play the victim, you play it well. You�ve gotten so good at casting your spell. Your charm and smiles can melt any heart. But of this play, I want no part. Your feigned innocence is getting old, and the lines you sell have all been sold. I cried my tears, you fed my fears, but now it�s over and for once I�m sorry. Ever so sorry I ever met you. |
| ever so sorry |
| Ladies and gentlemen... will you shut up and listen? We understand more than you. You belittel us because we ink and pierce. You have no idea... Punish us till we have nothing left to lose. Then see where it got you...Got us. We are the future, so let us live. |
| blind |
| If I could bottle up kindness and box away caring. If I could put a stopper in smiles. I'd store them, I'd stack them, I'd box them and pack them... parcels stretching for miles. I'd pick up a bottle a box or a bag, wipe it off with a brand new white rag and send it to you. I'd save up my pennies, my nickels, my dimes and send all of these one at a time. Peace and love everything good, I'd ship them to you, you know that I would. But I have not the money, I have not the means. All I can give you are all of my dreams. |
| post office |
| Scratch the surface, I feel unclean. Out of touch with this unhealthy scene. I'm not "in" so it's unfair, but it's ok...I was never there. Bliss is fun, and stars don't weep for tiny tears their glows don't keep. So lock me away, I promise to smile. Alone in my cell in this ever-day trial. But when the sun sets I'll seep into your dreams. I'll wake you and take you, lost in your screams. |
| unsuspected |
| What am I living for? With scattered thoughts and mangled mind I just can't seem to find the time to let all of this pain bleed out and find a reason to draw breath... I'm about to fail the only test that matters in an angel's eyes. But do you know? Sweet angel of mine, can you see? How much your leaving takes from me? My brightest parts have grown banal and I'm living in your footsteps with bated breath. I dread the day you turn to see me cowering Lowly Despicable and Frightened hiding from the world in your shadow. So keep moving, drag me along. You are what keeps my heart beating. You're so much more amazing than you seem to let yourself believe. I will try to make you see... My heart lies bleeding in your hands. No one truly understands, but god, you try that means the world to me. I sit here in my room, wish I was anywhere with you. How did you come along and make all my dreams come true? |
| what am i living for? |
| Seeping in my banal regret Waiting for a promise you haven't made yet Haven't yet, never will... Just close my eyes, you make me ill. I'm sorry you traded your outlook for your bloody hands |
| apology |