Sometimes Alex wished that her feelings for Derek and Nick were reversed. It would certainly make her life a lot easier. Because of this change in Derek, what she had wanted for so long could finally be hers. But she had to acknowledge that it would come at a price that could be very high. It would change everything between them, and potentially their relationships with Nick and Rachel. If only she considered Derek her big brother and wanted Nick as her lover.

The latter sat on a beach chair near her, toweling himself off after a swim. There was no need of conversation between them, and she could relax and simply be comfortable in the hot, mid-morning sun. She was glad it was just the two of them. Nick had mentioned that Rachel was a bit under the weather, while Derek was off somewhere. Nick thought he was on another call to London. Who was Derek checking on now? Probably this waiter, she thought cynically, as she took the wonderfully cold drink from his silver tray.

Derek� She was stupid to hope it would work between them. There were too many obstacles, too many differences for them to overcome. And if it failed� Could she honestly remain in San Francisco? She'd be the one transferred out if one of them had to be. On the other hand, maybe everything would go wonderfully. Maybe it was just time to throw caution to the wind and go along with her heart. So what if the chances were good that they would crash and burn. Wouldn't the ride be worth it? Her heart thought so. Ah, but it had also thought so once before� Yes, her head reminded her, and look where it had gotten her.

She shook her head. She didn't want to go back to that place and its aftermath. Being here on this island, it was hard to escape him, hard not to have him constantly on her mind. Of course, her behavior since they had arrived had shown him exactly how she felt. He was still a precept, however, underneath that engaging smile that would charm the birds from the trees. That was the Derek that she needed to remember.

She hadn't seen him since she left his bungalow the previous night. Part of her felt incredibly foolish for acting the way she had. Another chance with him, and another chance untaken. But once she had opened that package and seen the report... Had it been some sort of test? Had he left the package with Jeroen's background check there, knowing how tempting a courier envelope from London would be to her? If so, she had failed.

Was Derek disappointed that the background check on Jeroen was clean? As she might have expected, there was nothing in the report to cause Derek any concern. Jeroen came from an old Dutch family, one that dated back to the early 15th century. He had worked for the Dutch government for a number of years, and there were several glowing recommendations of the young man's character. He had shown no cause for Derek to request a check on him, and he had been nothing but a perfect gentleman to her and to Rachel. So why had Derek wanted one? Simply due to the fact that Jeroen had run into one or more of them a few times?

She knew that a precept requested one when one of his members was dating someone outside the organization. As long as one had already been done on Jeroen, she might as well see him. It had been some time since she had been on a date with a man outside of the Legacy, so she had called Jeroen earlier in the morning and made a date to have lunch together. Derek would probably not be happy, but she needed to get away from him, to restore some sort of balance to her life.

Yet was that merely a convenient excuse for her to use? Damn it, she was so confused when it came to her feelings for Derek Rayne. Alarm bells were going off, warning her not to get in too deep again. Was it already too late?

And why was her beach mate waving his arms? "Nick, what are you doing?"

"Trying to get your attention. I've been calling your name for a couple of minutes." He smiled at her. "Where did you go off to?"

She snickered quietly. "You don't want to know."

"Well, I figured that you might want to know that you've been lying in the sun like that for almost an hour, and..." He sniffed the air. "I think you're done on that side."

She giggled. "So you're telling me that I should turn over?"

"More like, 'Hey, lady, you'd better be careful or you'll be walking funny,'" he teased her.

"All right, all right." She rummaged through her beach bag and pulled out her suntan lotion. Making a quick swipe at her arms and legs, she began to put it on her neck and shoulders. She eyed the young man. "How would you like to..."

"Okay, your wish is my command," Nick said as he took the tube from her. She watched as he took off the silver ring he always wore before pouring lotion on his hands.

"Oh, wait a minute," she told him. "I want to get comfortable." She settled down on her towel and lay down on her stomach, trying to find a better position. "Let me do this too; it might make it easier for you and give me an even look in the back." Reaching behind her, she undid the straps that held her top.

"This is going to be a lot more fun than I thought," he joked.

"Nicholas," she said firmly, placing her head on her arms, "don't make me hurt you." He laughed and began to work the liquid into her skin. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind.

Nick was a little rough at first. "Gently, gently," she admonished him.

He hesitated a moment, likely to put on more lotion, before rubbing her back again. His fingers gingerly moved up to her shoulders made wide circles as he kneaded the knots out as he pressed the lotion in. He patted them with his wrists before kneading her muscles once more. His hands moved to her mid-back and his thumbs slowly stroked her skin.

"Geez, Nick..." She softly groaned. "Have you been working on your massage skills?" She sighed as his gentle hands slid down her back before leisurely moving along the sides.

"Watch those hands, sailor, or I'll break them," she told the ex-SEAL, though in a quiet, serene voice as her eyes remained closed. She heard his faint answering chuckle as his fingers caressed her upper back.

"Wow, Derek," she heard Rachel's voice above her. "Can you to do that for me?" Derek...?

Alex's head spun in surprise to see him sitting next to her, an impish grin on his face. She flushed at the bold stare in his eyes. It hadn't been Nick putting on the lotion but Derek...

"Rachel, I'd be happy to." Derek's voice replied to the blonde, but his eyes remained on Alex.

She grabbed a towel and fought to manage the heat sweeping through her body. She also fought the urge to run. Why should she? As if his presence meant nothing to her, she resumed her previous spot. Her head again rested on her arms as she closed her eyes.

She heard Derek rubbing his hands together before she shifted position, affording an opportunity for her to casually watch him. He caught her look and smiled. His hands massaged the lotion onto Rachel's back, but Derek's eyes broadcast another message loud and clear as Alex tried to hide the blush that she knew was on her face.

"What happened to Nick?" she asked, fighting to keep her voice steady.

"Oh, it seems that Suzette had a couple of free days," the precept said. "She asked Nick to meet her, but the message was mistakenly put in my box. I brought it to him just as he was about to help you. I signaled that I'd be happy to do it instead and that he was free to go."

The sparkle in his eyes made her heart pound. Hers met his squarely, but his grin widened as he held up his hands. What in the world was he doing that for? He waved the fingers of his right hand in particular. His ring... His ring was gone. He had removed his precept's ring...

The expression on her face had to convey her surprise to him. His grin dissolved as his look became serious. Words were unspoken, but his eyes teased and tempted. The man before her wasn't the same old Derek. That one she could handle. But this one... This one frightened her with his enticing invitations to delights of...

"I think that's enough, thank you," Rachel said loudly as she sat up, breaking the electric contact between her and Derek. Alex momentarily closed her eyes to steady herself.

"I'm sorry, Rachel," the older man said. "I think you're all set now." He wiped the lotion off his hands and slipped his precept's ring back on his right hand. Back it went to its rightful place...

Alex took a deep breath to control her conflicting emotions. "I've... I've got to leave. I'll see you both later," she said to the others as she stood, her towel wrapped around her. She started to walk away, but Derek caught up to her.

"Alex, wait," he said as he grabbed her arm. "We need to talk. Please, have lunch with me."

"I'm sorry, I can't today, but..." She sighed and nodded. "I will tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? But..."

"Alex, am I early?" Derek's eyes narrowed as Jeroen van Dissen joined them.

"No, I'm a little late," she told him lightly. "Why don't you come back to my room while I get changed." She turned to Derek. "I'll... I'll see you later."

Her head congratulated her, but her heart sank in defeat. It took every ounce of will she had within her not to look back as she walked away with the other man.

End part 20