So it had gone that far, that fast...

Rachel watched Derek leave before she turned to the other woman. Alex was positively glowing, even brighter than the lights that illuminated the walkway around them. If she hadn't come along and interrupted them, Derek and Alex might have been about to do something that she wasn't sure her young friend was ready to handle.

The psychiatrist wrapped her arms around the woman's shoulders. "How are you doing?" she asked quietly. Alex patted her arm.

"I... I feel like I'm flying high above the earth." She twisted around and looked at Rachel, her lips trembling. "Like a bird on her first flight who's not sure her wings will keep her soaring, and that any moment I'm going to crash to earth."

Rachel laughed. "Love can be like that," she said gently. "Why don't we go inside, have something to drink and we can talk." Did her colleague know what she was getting herself into?

"That's a good idea." Alex opened the door of her bungalow and the two entered. "Let's have them out on the balcony?" the dark woman said. "Maybe the wine and the scenery will calm me down. I may not sleep a wink otherwise." Rachel chuckled at the shaking tone in her voice.

Alex pulled out a small bottle of white wine for herself and a Diet Pepsi for Rachel as the blonde grabbed two glasses from the table in the sitting room. They headed out onto the terrace and pulled out the chairs.

"I want to apologize again for interrupting you two," Rachel began as she sat down. "It appears that if I didn't then you and Derek would be... taking your new relationship to the next level."

"I... don't know if that's true," Alex said as she stared at her, the brightness gone from her eyes. "But maybe..."

"I came looking for you to tell you that I heard from Kat," Rachel said. "She signaled me with her cell phone."

"She signaled you?" the other asked as she sat as well.

Rachel nodded. "She calls so that my phone rings twice, then she hangs up. That way I know to call her back and she doesn't get the charge on her phone." She opened her drink and emptied it into her glass. "My little girl woke up early and wanted to wish me a Merry Christmas."

"Oh, that's sweet." the young woman poured her drink and placed it on the small table between their chairs.

Rachel smiled. "I'm hoping now that we can all wish her one at breakfast. She misses all of you too."

"I'm sorry." Alex shook her head. "I should ask how you're doing with your daughter so far away at Christmas."

"I miss her, but I know that she's having a great time with her friends, and she's looked forward to this vacation to Disney World for a long time." She stopped to take a sip of her drink. "We've been to Disneyland, but she always wanted to see Disney World. So when this chance came..." Rachel shrugged. "How could I not let her go?"

Her friend chuckled. "I know a bit about that."

There were things that Rachel wanted to ask her, but she knew it would be better to ease her way into it. She took an additional sip of her drink and watched the other woman. "So where were you before dinner? Did you say that you took a walk?"

"I did," Alex said. "I went back to the place where Derek told us what happened at the portal. After you and Nick left, he and I took a walk along the beach." She rose and gazed out at the lagoon. "He was so different." She laughed softly. "I remember wondering if... maybe it wasn't really Derek but a demon posing at him. Then I realized how foolish that was. Could the Darkside really pull this off? A Derek who pays for all of us to vacation in Bora Bora for two weeks? Who wants a romantic relationship with me?"

"That would seem a little far-fetched," Rachel agreed. "You seem so happy, though, Alex. How would you feel as regards to an affair with Derek?"

"Rachel, I don't want an affair, I want a life with him. I've al..." Alex turned to her and sighed.

"Have you..." Rachel hesitated, then took a deep breath. "Have you thought about the ramifications of any change?"

"Don't you think part of me realizes that?" The dark woman's voice rose. "That this will change the status quo? Part of me wants things to remain the same. The other?" Her fists clenched. "My God, Rachel, the other wants to be in his room and in his bed right now, with my legs wrapped around him so tight that..." She spun back to the lagoon, her hands gripping the porch railing.

"It's all right, honey." Rachel walked over to her. "Let me be... You'll pardon the pun, but I'm just playing devil's advocate here. What happens if it falls apart when we get back to San Francisco?"

"You mean what if he dumps me?" Alex turned to refill her glass. "If it turns out to be nothing more than a tropical island paradise fling?"

"Or simply enjoying life more in the aftermath of his survival," the psychiatrist said gently, watching her friend closely.

"Do you really think it's just that?" Alex asked, her tone quiet.

"He is acting strangely, you've got to admit that," Rachel acknowledged. "Wasn't it odd this afternoon? Who would have ever believed that the precept of the San Francisco House would go jumping into the water like that? And balancing the two of us on his shoulders?" She laughed. "I'm sorry that I didn't get pictures of that."

The young woman chuckled softly. "That was something, wasn't it? It was so nice to see him laughing that much."

"Then compare that to how he was at dinner. He seemed disturbed that others had joined us," Rachel said. "Especially Jeroen. I don't think Derek likes that young man."

"No, he doesn't," Alex agreed.

"Maybe having Jeroen and Suzette there with us destroyed his version of his tropical vacation," the blonde theorized. "You don't think... that he was jealous of the man? Of the interest he's showing in you? Now that Derek has decided to pursue a relationship with you, he's upset at another man paying attention to you?"

"Derek?" Alex shook her head. "I can't imagine him being jealous. He's not the kind of guy that..." She took a further sip. "And I don't think I gave him reason to be, anyway. It's probably just as you said, that Derek simply doesn't like the guy."

"You're probably right." Rachel finished her drink. "Derek doesn't strike me as the jealous type. I shouldn't have asked Jeroen to join us, but I thought it was sad that he didn't have anyone to spend Christmas with." Her voice lightened. "I also didn't like the idea of being a fifth wheel, sitting with two happy couples."

"Nick's attention was rather focused on Suzette," Alex grinned before her face became serious. "You know, Rachel, I've wanted this for so long, a real relationship with Derek, and now..." Her face showed her turmoil as she glanced at the blonde before looking away. "I couldn't have it before this. Not this way. Half of me is scared to death it will work, and the other half is scared that it won't."

"I think those would be very normal feelings, honey," she said as she joined her by the banister.

"What if I don't... measure up?" Alex said it so softly that Rachel couldn't be sure that she heard correctly.

"What? Measure up?" Her tone softened. "Sweetie..."

Alex didn't face her, only continued to stare out to the vista beyond. "Yes, that's what I said. After all, Derek's had..." The other woman took a deep breath. "He's so much more sophisticated than I am, he's had more lovers than I've had." She turned to the blonde and smiled. "Certainly he has lately."

"It does seem like only a short time ago that he was so involved with Megan." She saw the flash of pain on Alex's face. "Then to have to see her die like that, in front of him..." Had her friend forgotten that?

"I just don't know, Rachel," the dark woman whispered. "With the concerns that I have at this point, I wonder if this romance will survive past this vacation paradise. What happens in the reality of being home and the likely objections of the Legacy?"

"Well..." She gazed at her young colleague. "Maybe the real question is not if it will last beyond this vacation, but whether being in his bed is worth the chance of soon being in your grave."

"Rachel!" Alex's eyes blazed but Rachel saw that she had made her point.

"Honey," the psychiatrist put her hand briefly on top of Alex's. "I'm sorry, but I'm only worried about you. I would hate to see you end up like that, and I'm not sure if Derek could take that either."

"I suppose that's true," the other woman said as she glanced down and picked at a nonexistent piece of lint on her velvet dress. "I've got to think more on this." Alex again looked out into the lagoon, or maybe to a place that Rachel couldn't see.

"You know what they say, sweetie," the older woman said as she touched Alex's arm. When she continued, it was slightly above a whisper. "Be careful what you wish for..."

End part 16