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But he enjoyed the unmeasured delights of an unlimited banquet in the shape of singing the psalms of David, and having constant converse with God. He made use of them constantly, he could never get enough of them, he was always full of them, he was forever crying, 'How sweet are your words to my tongue, more than honey and honeycomb to my mouth' (Psalms 119.103). And again he heard these words of the blessed David, 'The judgments of the Lord are true, justified in themselves, more to be desired than gold and many precious stones, sweeter than honey and the honeycomb' (Psalms 19.10-11). And again, 'Delight in the Lord and he will give you your heart's desire.' And again, 'Let the heart of them rejoice that seek the Lord.'And 'Let my heart rejoice that it might fear your name'. And, 'Taste and see how gracious the Lord is.' And, 'My soul thirsts for the living God.' And 'My soul longs after you' And he grafted into himself the love which inspired the writer of all these words. This is how the great David by his songs taught him that he would build up many companions who would rival him in the love they showed for God. His hope for this was not in vain. For not this man only but countless others were thus pierced by the love of God. He was consumed by such a great fire of love, he was so intoxicated by desire, that he ceased to have any care for anything of this earth. He dreamed only of his beloved by night and sought only the sight of him by day. And many people heard about his exceptional quest for wisdom [philosophia], and came to him from far and near. As his fame spread everywhere abroad, so they ran to him begging to benefit from his training. The came to him as to a master trainer, to be a family of children who would live on after him. Just as singing birds are used in hunting to call others of the same breed in order to catch them in nets, so do human beings chase after other human beings, sometimes for the purpose of destroying them, but sometimes in order to be saved. So very soon there were ten others with him.----- Palladius, Lausiac History, Lives of Desert Fathers, p. 856
Heirs of the Kingdom
"It does not do to be gloomy about your prospects of salvation," he would say, "for we are heirs of the kingdom of heaven. The heathen may be sad, the Jews may weep, sinners may be fearful, but the righteous can only rejoice. Those who are worried about earthly matters have only got earthly things in which it is possible for them to rejoice. But we who have been found worthy of being given such great hope, how can we fail to rejoice perpetually? Indeed it is the Apostle who urges us to rejoice always and give thanks in all things." (1Thessalonians 5.16,18). We cannot adequately describe the gracefulness of his speech, or the rest of his virtues, which we observed for ourselves and which others told us about. They are so miraculous they strike us dumb. Palladius, Lausiac History, Lives of the Desert Fathers, p. 784.Rejoice, O Desert
Through his teaching and way of life, a great number totally renounced the world, so that a community of up to five hundred Christians came into being, living a common life, eating at a common table, all clothed in white. In them was fulfilled the Scripture, 'Rejoice, O desert without water, break forth and shout you have not given birth, for many are the children of the desert, more than the children of men (Isaiah 54.1). That eloquent prophecy has indeed been fulfilled by the existence of the church gathered up out of all the nations, but shown up to perfection in this Egyptian desert, where more children of God can be seen than in the inhabited places. Where in the cities can you find as many flocks on the road to salvation as you can find in the deserts of Egypt? There are as many Christians in the desert as there are ordinary people in the cities, and it seems to me that this also is a fulfilment of what the Apostle said, 'Where sin abounded, there grace abounded more abundantly' (Romans 5.20). For in Egypt there used to be a great deal of idolatrous worship, more than in any other.Palladius, Lausiac History, Lives of the Desert Fathers, p. 781
The Life of St. Paula of Rome, widow
[347 - 404. Celebrated in the Roman Martyrology on January 26]
by Jerome, presbyter and divine
(a letter written to Eustochium, Paula's daughter)
Chapter I
If every member of my body were turned into a tongue, resonating with every art the human voice is capable of, I still would not be able to praise sufficiently the virtues of the holy and venerable Paula. She came of a noble family, but was even more noble in her holiness, powerful once because of her wealth, but now famous because of her poverty for Christ's sake. She was of the family of the Gracchi; the Scipios also were her ancestors [Prominent military and political families in Rome from the 3rd and 2nd centuries BC.] ; she was the heir of Paullus whose name she bore [Not the Apostle Paul but the Roman general Paullus who fell in battle in the year 216 BC.] She was a true blood-related descendant of Marcia Papiria, [Paullus' wife.] the mother of Scipio Africanus, but she preferred Bethlehem to Rome, she exchanged the glittering gilded ceilings for a lowly mud hut. Let us not grieve that we have lost such a person, let us rather give thanks that she has lived among us, and indeed is among us still. For all things are alive in God, and whatever or whoever goes back to God is still reckoned to be part of his family.
For as long as she was in the flesh she was absent from the Lord (2 Corinthians 5.6), ever complaining in tearful voice, 'Alas that my pilgrimage is prolonged. I dwell among the inhabitants of Khedar, and my soul is much estranged' (Psalms 120.5). Nor is it to be wondered at that she should complain about living in darkness (for so is the word 'Khedar' to be interpreted), for she in her purity lived in the midst of evil (1 John 5.19). As dark as is the world, so is the brightness of her light; her light shone in the darkness and the darkness could not extinguish it (John 1.5). She was led to cry out all the more eagerly, 'I am a stranger and pilgrim as were all my fathers' (Psalms 39.12), and again, 'I had rather depart and be with Christ' (Philippians 1.23). Whenever she was troubled by the weakness of her body (which was caused by her incredible abstinence and redoubled fasts), her only response was, 'I subdue my body and bring it into subjection, lest having preached to others I be myself a castaway' (1 Corinthians 9.27), and, 'It is a good thing not to drink wine or eat meat' (Romans 14.21), and, 'I have humbled my soul with fasting' (Psalms 35.13), 'and taken to my bed in weakness' (Psalms 41.3), 'and have been greatly distressed when smitten with grievous wounds' (Psalms 32.4).Whenever she was suffering from pain (which she bore with wonderful patience) she would cast up her eyes to heaven and say 'Who will give me the wings of a dove that I may fly away and be at rest?' (Psalms 55.6)
I call Jesus and his saints and her own guardian angel to witness that nothing of what I am saying is mere ingratiating flattery. Whatever I shall say about her can never do justice to what she deserves. The whole world sings her praises, the priests stand amazed, the choirs of virgins regret her departure, the crowds of monks and poor people weep. Would you like a brief list of her virtues, dear reader? She was poorer than all the poor that she cared for and left behind. She numbers among her friends and family men and women who used to be slaves, but whom she has changed into her brothers and sisters. And she has left us her devoted virgin daughter Eustochium, for whose consolation these words are being written, in a land far distant from her noble family, rich only in faith and grace.
• The Embarkment of Saint Paula in Ostia. Painting by Claude Lorrain.
Chapter II
So then let us begin our story. Others may begin at an earlier stage by going back to her cradle and childhood playthings, citing her mother, Blesilla, and her father, Rogatus. Whereas the former owns the Scipios and the Gracchi as forebears, the latter is descended from a family noted among the Greeks for its eminence and wealth right up to the present day. For it is Agamemnon himself whose blood he is said to have shared, he who destroyed Troy after the ten year siege.
But for our part, we shall praise only what is uniquely hers, that which springs from the purity of her own holiness. In the Gospels, when the apostles asked the Lord and Saviour what should they receive who had given up everything for his sake, he said that they would be given a hundredfold in this life and eternal life in the world to come (Matthew 19.27 & Mark 10.30). From which we are to understand that there is nothing praiseworthy in possessing riches, but rather in despising them for Christ's sake, not in piling up worldly honours, but in counting them as nothing compared to faith in God. And what the Saviour promised to his servants and handmaids has been brought to pass at this present time.
For she who despised the glory of one city has been raised up high in the opinion of the whole world. She hid herself in Bethlehem, but has become the wonder of the whole Roman world and the barbarous lands beyond. Is there any nationality not represented among those who have visited the holy places? Is there anyone in those holy places more admired by people than Paula? Among many bright jewels there is always one more precious that shines more brilliantly than the others. just as the radiance of the sun puts to flight the little brightnesses of the stars and hides them. And so it is that in her humility she outshone the virtues and qualities of everyone else. She became the least of all, that she might become greater than all, for the more she cast herself down, the more she was raised up by Christ. She was hidden and was not hidden. By flying from glory she was given glory. For glory follows virtue as its shadow, and ignoring those who seek it, is given to those who despise it.
But what am I thinking of, neglecting to get on with my story! By over-emphasising one particular point I am not doing justice to the rules of narrative.
Chapter III
Being then of such high parentage, she married Toxotius who was of the Julian family which traces its ancestry to Aeneas. Hence his daughter Eustochium, a virgin for Christ, also bears the name of Julia, just as Toxotius has the name of Julius, a name handed down from the Iulus the great. [Iulus was the son of the legendary Aeneas, a Trojan who escaped from the ruins of Troy and founded a city on the banks of the Tiber, which later became the city of Rome]. I mention this not because the bearing of such a name is of great importance, but rather to show how wonderfully such a name has been proved to be of no importance. Worldly people look up to those occupying positions of privilege, but we praise those who despise them for the sake of the Saviour. It may seem rather strange that we should belittle those who bear such illustrious names and praise those who would rather not have them. Paula has won approval first from her husband, then from her relations, and finally from the whole world, not because of her noble ancestry but because of her chastity and fruitfulness. She bore five children:
Blesilla, at whose death I offered her some comfort when I was at Rome;
Paulina, who left behind her holy and venerable husband Pammachius as the heir not only of her property but also of her way of life, about whose death I have also written a little piece;
Eustochium, who now wears the precious necklace of virginity in the holy places of the Church;
Ruffina, whose early death gave such grief to the caring soul of her mother;
Toxotius, after whom she had no more children, from which you may gather that having satisfied her husband's desire for male offspring, she no longer had any wish to fulfil her conjugal duties.
Chapter IV
After her husband's death her grief was so great that she nearly died herself, but then she gave herself so completely to the service of Christ that it might almost have looked as if she had been glad of his death. For how can I adequately describe how almost all of the riches of that noble and distinguished family were distributed to the poor and needy? How tell of her kind and compassionate generosity to all, and even to those whom she had never seen? What needy person on his deathbed was not wrapped in blankets which she had supplied? What bedridden person was not supported by her gifts? She searched keenly throughout all the city and thought it a loss to herself if there was anyone weak and poor who was supported by anyone other than her. She did all this at the expense of her own children, and when her relations objected replied that she was leaving them a much greater legacy, the mercy of Christ.
It was not long before she found that she could not bear much more of the social round of associating with the noble families of the highest class in this world. She was embarrassed by her own reputation, and sought how to escape from the flattery heaped upon her. At that time an Imperial summons had drawn bishops to Rome from both East and West in order to discuss certain controversies in the church, [There was a synod in Rome in 382 to discuss the views of the heretic Apollinaris, Damasus being pope and Theodosius and Valentinian being Emperors of East and West respectively.] which enabled her to meet certain distinguished bishops of Christ, Paulinus of Antioch, and Epiphanius of Salamis in Cyprus, or as it is now called, Constantia. Epiphanius indeed was her guest, and although Paulinus was staying with someone else she became as friendly with him as if he were staying with her. It was partly through her admiration of their virtues that she began to think more and more about leaving her native land. She forgot about her home, her children, her possessions, her position in society; she could think of nothing but going to visit the desert of Antony and Paul, unaccompanied, if possible.
When at last the winter was over and the sea was favourable and the bishops were returning to their churches, she longed to go with them. She did not put off going for much longer. She too went down to the harbour, accompanied by her brother and other friends and relations, and, what is more, by her children, all eager to dissuade their loving mother by demonstrating their affection for her. But the sails were set, and the oars drove the ship out into the high seas. The infant Toxotius held out beseeching hands to his mother. Ruffina already of marriageable age tried to suppress her sobbing as she begged her mother to wait at least until she was married. But Paula looked up to heaven dry-eyed, overcoming the love of her children by her love of God. She no longer allowed herself to be a mother but only a handmaid of Christ. Although her emotions were in a turmoil, and it felt as if her whole body was being torn apart, she fought down her grief. Her love of family had been very great; all the more admirable then was her victory, which was apparent to all.
There is nothing more cruel than to see children by dire necessity separated from their parents and taken by the hands of the enemy into slavery. But against the laws of nature she endured this kind of separation in the fulness of her faith, indeed it was something that her joyful heart sought after, her love for God putting her love for children into second place. But she did have Eustochium still, who was of one mind with her and accompanied her on her journey. The ship ploughed on, with all those on board looking back to the shore except her. She turned her eyes away from what she could not bear to look at without being tormented. I am quite sure that no one could have loved her children more. Before she set out she had put them in charge of all she possessed, renouncing her inheritance on earth that she might gain an inheritance in heaven.
Chapter V
They put in at the island of Pontia, celebrated as the place where that most famous of women, Flavia Domitilla, had suffered exile under the emperor Domitian, for having confessed to being a Christian. As Paula viewed the small cells in which that lady had spent her long martyrdom, her faith took wings, and she longed more than ever to see Jerusalem and the other holy places. But the winds were fitful, and progress was slow. She passed between Scylla and Charybdis and entrusted herself at last to the Adriatic Sea and had a calm passage to Methone, where she refreshed her weary body
by stretching out her tired limbs along the shore, before sailing past Malea and Cythera, the scattered Cyclades and the straits with numerous lands on every side.
They went past Rhodes and Lycia and came at last to Cyprus, where she fell at the feet of the holy and venerable Epiphanius and stayed with him for ten days. She did not use this time as recreation, as he thought she ought to, but as it turned out, used it for the work of God. For she visited all the famous monasteries on that island, and as far as her means would allow gave alms to the brothers whom the love of that holy man had attracted there from all quarters of the world.
From there it was but a short journey to Seleucia, from where she went up to Antioch where she was entertained for a time by the holy confessor Paulinus. Here, this noble woman, who had once been carried about in a litter by eunuchs, travelled about sitting on an ass, warmed by the ardour of her faith even in the middle of winter. I will say nothing about her travels in Coelo-Syria and Phoenicia (for it has never been my purpose to itemise her complete itinerary), but will mention only such places as are named in the sacred books.
Chapter VI
Leaving behind the Roman colony of Berytus and the ancient city of Sidon, she came to Sareptha, where she worshipped the Lord in Elijah's upper room (1 Kings 17.19). She went on by way of the sands of Tyre, where Paul had once knelt (Acts 21.5), and arrived at Coth, which is now called Ptolemais. From there she went through the plains of Megiddo where Josiah had been slain (2 Kings 23.29) and entered the lands of the Philistines. Here she admired the ruins of Dor, at one time a most powerful city, and by way of contrast, the tower of Strabo, rebuilt by king Herod of Judea and renamed Caesarea in honour of Augustus Caesar. Here she saw the house of Cornelius (Acts 10.1), now turned into a Christian church, and the humble dwelling of Philip and the rooms of his four virgin daughters who prophesied (Acts 21.8-9). She next arrived at Antipatris, a small half-ruined town named by Herod after his father, and Lydda, now known as Diospolis, famous for the healing of Aeneas and the resurrection of Dorcas (Acts 9.32-41).
Not far from there is the little village of Arimathæa, the home of Joseph who buried the Lord (Matthew 27.57), and Nob, formerly the city of the priests, where now their slaughtered bodies still rest. Joppa also is quite near here, the port to which Jonah fled (Jonah 1.3), and also (if I may introduce something from the fables of the poets) the place where Andromeda was turned into a rock.
Taking up her journey again, she came to Nicopolis, formerly called Emmaus, where the Lord was known in the breaking of the bread (Luke 24.30). The house of Cleopas there has been dedicated as a church by the Lord. From there she went up to both lower and upper Bethoron (2 Chronicles 8.5), cities founded by Solomon, but later destroyed by several devastating wars; to the right she would have looked out over Ajalon and Gibeon (Joshua 9&10), where Joshua the son of Nun fought against five kings and commanded the sun and the moon to stand still, and where he ordered that the Gibeonites should be hewers of wood and drawers of water as punishment for their treachery. At Gibeon also, now completely ruined, she stayed a while, meditating on the sin of the killing of the concubine, and how she was cut in pieces, and how three hundred men of the tribe of Benjamin were saved (Judges 19&20), thus ensuring that the apostle Paul might be called a Benjamite (Romans 11.1)
Chapter VII
But let us move on. Leaving on the left the shrine of Helen, queen of the Adiabene, who sent corn to the people in the time of famine, she arrived at Jerusalem, that city of three names: Jebus, Salem and Jerusalem, rebuilt from its dust and ashes by Aelius Hadrianus and renamed Aelia. [Jerusalem was razed to the ground by the Roman army in the year 70, and rebuilt by Aelius Hadrianus in 131.] The proconsul of Palestine knew her famous family, and ordered his stewards to prepare his residence for her, but she preferred a humble little cell. She went round visiting all the holy places with such zeal and devotion that she could hardly have been persuaded to leave any of them if it had not been for her desire to visit the others. She prostrated herself in front of the cross, and adored it as if she could really see the Lord hanging there. She went into the sepulchre and kissed the stone of the resurrection which the Angel had rolled away from the door of the tomb. And like a thirsty person seeking water, she laid her mouth on the place where the Lord's body had lain. All Jerusalem can testify to the tears she shed there, the sighs she uttered, the grief which consumed her.
Coming out from there she ascended Mount Sion, a name which signifies either "citadel" or "watchtower". David captured this city and built it up. Of this city it is written, 'Woe, woe to the city of Ariel (that is, the lion of God), the most strong city, which David besieged' (Isaiah 29.1). And on the subject of its rebuilding, 'Her foundations are upon the holy hills; the Lord has loved the gates of Sion above all the tents of Jacob' (Psalms 87.1-2). Not those gates which we see today reduced to dust and ashes, but the gates against which Hell shall not prevail, and into which enter the hosts of those who believe in Christ (Matthew 16.18). She was shown the pillar, stained with the blood of the Lord, to which he was bound before being whipped. It now supports the doorway of a church. She was shown the place where the holy Spirit came down upon the souls of a hundred and twenty believers (Acts 1.15 & 2.3), fulfilling the prophecy of Joel (Joel 2.28).
As far as her means would allow she distributed money to the poor and her fellow servants, before going on towards Bethlehem. On the right hand side of her route she stopped at Rachel's tomb. Here, as she lay dying, Rachel wished to call her son Benoni, that is, "son of my pain", but his father in a spirit of prophecy called him Benjamin, that is, "son of my right hand" (Genesis 35.18). She went into the Saviour's cave, and saw the Virgin's sacred inn and the stable where the ox knew his owner, and the ass his master's crib (Isaiah 1.3), in fulfilment also of the saying of that same prophet, 'Blessed is he who sows upon the waters, where the ox and the ass do tread' (Isaiah 32.20). I have heard her say very emphatically that as she looked on these places with the eye of faith she could see the infant wrapped in rags crying in the manger (Luke 27), the Magi worshipping as the star shone overhead (Matthew 2.11), the virgin carefully nursing the child, the shepherds coming by night to worship the word made flesh (Luke 2.15). Even then those shepherds were declaring the beginning of John's Gospel: 'In the beginning was the Word and the Word was made flesh' (John 1). She also saw the savagery of Herod in the slaughter of the innocents (Matthew 2.16), as Joseph and Mary fled into Egypt. Mingling joy with her tears, she proclaimed:
Chapter VIII
"Hail, Bethlehem, 'house of bread', in which was brought forth that bread which came down from heaven (John 6.33). Hail, Ephrata, land of fruitfulness and plenty. Your fruit is the Lord himself. As the prophet Micah said, 'You, O Bethlehem, house of Ephrata, are not the least among the thousands of Judah. For out of you shall come a ruler in Israel whose goings forth have been from the beginning, and from everlasting days. Therefore you will give them up until the time when she will bring forth. And when she has brought forth, the remainder of the brethren shall be turned back to the sons of Israel' (Micah 5.2-3). And again, 'In you a ruler has been born, begotten before the daystar' (Psalms 110.3, Vulgate), born of the father before all ages. And the springs of the tribe of David continued in you until the virgin brought forth, and the remnant who believed in Christ turned back to the children of Israel and freely proclaimed, 'It was right to preach the word of God to you first, but since you rejected it and shown yourselves unworthy of eternal life, we have turned to the Gentiles' (Acts 13.46).
"For the Lord has said, 'I am not come except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel' (Matthew 15.24). At that time the words of Jacob also were fulfilled, 'A prince shall not be lacking in Judah, nor a leader born of his loins, until he shall come for whom it has been prepared, and he it is for whom the Gentiles wait' (Genesis 40.10). Truly did David swear, truly make a vow: 'I shall not go up into the tabernacle of my house or go into my bed, I shall not give sleep to my eyes or slumber to my eyelids, or rest to the temples of my head, until I search out a place for the Lord, a tabernacle for the God of Jacob' (Psalms 132.3-5). And immediately with the eyes of prophecy he spoke of the consummation of his desires, foretelling the coming of him whom we believe now to have come: 'Behold we heard of him in Ephrata and found it in the woods' (ibid 6). The Hebrew word, vau, used here, as I learn from your lessons, [Jerome had taught her Hebrew] does not mean her, that is, Mary the mother of the Lord, but him. Therefore he speaks confidently, 'We shall go up into his tabernacle, we shall worship in the place where his feet have rested' (ibid.7),
"And I, miserable sinner that I am, have been found worthy to kiss the manger in which the infant Lord lay, to pray in the cave where the virgin was and brought forth the Lord. 'Here is my rest, for it is the land of the Lord. Here shall I dwell, for it is the choice of the Saviour (ibid. 14). I have prepared a lamp for my Christ' (ibid 17, Vulgate). 'My soul shall live for him and my seed shall serve him' (Psalms 22.30)."
Chapter IX
At a short distance from here she then went to the tower of Ader, that is, "of the flock", where Jacob pastured his sheep (Genesis 35.21), and the shepherds at night were found worthy to hear 'Glory to God in the highest and peace on earth to people of good will' (Luke 2.14). As they went about the task of keeping their sheep it was given to them to find the Lamb of God, with the pure white fleece which was filled with the dew of heaven while the earth round about remained dry (Judges 6.38), and whose blood takes away the sin of the world, and stayed the hand of the exterminator in Egypt when smeared on the doorposts (Exodus 12.23).
With eager steps she then set out on the old road which leads to Gaza, where she was able to meditate silently on the power and resources of God, whereby the Ethiopian eunuch, as a forerunner of the people of the Gentiles, changed his allegiance, and from reading the old Testament discovered the wellsprings of the Gospel (Acts 8 27-38). Moving off to the right she came past Bethsur to Escol, which means "cluster of grapes". It was from here that the spies brought back a wonderfully large cluster of grapes as proof of the fertility of the land (Numbers 13.24-26), and as a symbol of him who said, 'I have trodden the winepress alone and there is none with me' (Isaiah 63.3). Not long after this she came to the home of Sarah and saw the birthplace of Isaac and what was left of Abraham's oak, under which he saw the day of Christ and was glad (John 8.56). Going on from there she went to Hebron, formerly Kiriath-arba, or the City of the Four Men, that is, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and the great Adam, whom the Hebrews suppose (from the book of Joshua son of Nun) to be buried there (Joshua 14.15). [The Vulgate here has "Adam", which in Hebrew is the same word as "man", which is what AV has in this place] There are others, however, who think the fourth man to be Caleb, and he is commemorated by a monument at one side.
After seeing these places she was unwilling to go on to Kirjath-Sepher (which means "city of letters") for, despising the letter that kills, she had found the spirit that gives life. She much preferred to admire the upper and lower springs which Othoniel the son of Kenaz the son of Jephona took possession of, to adjoin the southern land with no water (Judges1.13-15). By these means he watered the previously dry fields of the old covenant, typifying the redemption from sin to be found in the waters of Baptism.
Next day soon after sunrise she stood on the brow of Caphar Baruca (which means "house of blessing"), the place where Abraham bargained with the Lord (Genesis 18.23-33). Spread out before her was the desert land which had once been Sodom and Gomorrah, Admah and Zeboim, and she beheld the balsam vines of Engeddi and Segor, which is the place of the heifer of three years old (Isaiah 15.5). It was formerly called Baia, which translates into Syrian as Zoar, that is, "little". She called to mind the cave in which Lot found refuge, and with tears in her eyes warned the virgins who were with her against wine which gives rise to lust, from which arose the Moabites and Ammonites (Genesis 19.30-38).
Chapter X
I linger longer in this land of the noonday, where the bride found her bridegroom resting (Song of Songs 1.7), and where Joseph drank with his brothers (Genesis 43.34). [Rosweyde gives this Biblical reference in the margin, but the drinking session in Genesis 43 takes place in Joseph's house in Egypt. Some confusion here on Jerome's part!] Let us return to Jerusalem by way of Tekoa, the home of Amos (Amos 1.1), and gaze upon the glittering light of the Mount of Olives, where the Saviour ascended to the Father (Acts 1.9). Here each year a red heifer was sacrificed to the Lord and its ashes used to purify the people of Israel. According to Ezekiel it is also where the Cherubim flew up out of the temple and founded the Church of the Lord (Ezekiel 10.18-19). After going in to the tomb of Lazarus she saw the welcoming house of Mary and Martha, and also Bethphage, "the house of the priestly jaws". Here it was that a lusty colt, signifying the Gentiles, accepted the bridle of the Lord, and covered with the garments of the apostle, offered its back for him to sit on.
Taking up her journey she went down to Jericho, turning over in her mind the story of the wounded man in the Gospels, the hardness of heart of the priest and the Levite who passed him by, and the compassion of the Samaritan who put him, half-dead, on his own donkey and carried him off to the safety of the Church. She visited also Adomin, which means "The Place of Blood", so called because of all the blood shed there in the frequent attacks from robbers. She saw also Zachaeus' sycamore tree (Luke 19.2-10), signifying the good work of repentance, whereby he trod underfoot his grievous sins of bloodshed and rapine, and saw the most high Lord from a place on high. And at the side of the road there was the place where the two blind men received their sight (Matthew 20.30-34), foretelling the two peoples who would believe in him.[i.e. Jews and Gentiles]
Then entering Jericho she saw the city which Hiel founded in his firstborn, Abiram, and whose gates he set up in his younger son, Segub (Joshua 6.26 & 1 Kings 16.34). She looked on the fortresses of Gilgal and the hill of foreskins (Joshua 5.3), and the mystery of the second circumcision (Romans 2.28-29). There also were the twelve stones carried up out of the riverbed of the Jordan (Joshua 4. 3&20), which became symbols of the foundation stones of the twelve apostles (Revelations 21.14). She also saw the spring which had formerly been bitter and tainted, the symbol of the old law, which Elisha had seasoned with his wisdom and made sweet and fruitful (2 Kings 2.21). The night had not quite passed when she approached the Jordan with burning eagerness. At sunrise she reflected on the rising of the Sun of righteousness, and how the priests had walked on dry land in the midst of the raging torrent. (Joshua 3.13-17). She thought also of how Elijah and Elisha commanded the waters to divide in two (2 Kings 2.8) to make a pathway for them, and how the Lord by his Baptism purified the polluted waters of the flood, stained by the death of the whole human race.
Chapter XI
It would be tedious if I were to tell of the valley of Achor, (which means "trouble"), and the 'trouble and crowds' by which theft and avarice were condemned (Joshua 7.11-26), or of Bethel, "the House of God", where Jacob, poor and naked, slept upon the naked earth with a stone for a pillow (Genesis 28.11). That is the stone which is described in Zechariah as having seven eyes (Zechariah 2.9), and in Isaiah as a corner stone (Isaiah 28.16). And this is where Jacob saw a ladder stretching up to heaven, with our Lord standing above it, reaching out his hand to those who were going up, while the wicked were falling down to the depths. She venerated also the two sepulchres in Mt Ephraim, directly opposite one another, the one being the tomb of Joshua the son of Nun, and the other of Eleazar, the son of Aaron. The one was in Timnath-Serah, on the north side of the hill of Gaash (Joshua 24.30), and the other in Gabaath which belonged to Phineas, Eleazar's son. She was quite surprised to find that he who had had the responsibility of dividing up the land had chosen for himself a portion which was mountainous and rocky.
What shall I say about Silo, where an overturned altar is still on view today, commemorating how the tribe of Benjamin anticipated the rape of the Sabine women by Romulus of Rome? (Judges 21.21). Passing by Sichem (not Sichar, as many wrongly say), which is now called Neapolis, she entered the church built on the side of Mt Gerizim around the well where the Lord was sitting, feeling hungry and thirsty, and was refreshed by the faith of the Samaritan woman (John 4.5-30). She had rejected five husbands, by whom are represented the five books of Moses, and also the sixth who was not her husband, representing the heretical sect of Dositheos, [The founder of a Samaritan sect something like the Essenes] in order to find the true Messiah and true Saviour.
Going on from there she saw the tombs of the twelve patriarchs, and Samaria, which Herod renamed Augusta, or in Greek Sebaste, in honour of Augustus. Here are buried the prophets Elisha and Obadiah, and John the Baptist (than whom there has been none greater born of woman). And here she saw many strange marvels which almost frightened her out of her wits. For she saw demons screaming under various tortures in front of the tombs of the saints, howling like wolves, barking like dogs, roaring like lions, hissing like serpents, bellowing like bulls. They twisted their heads backwards till they touched the ground; there were females hanging upside down with their skirts around their faces. She felt great pity for them all and shed tears over each one, begging Christ to have mercy on them. In spite of her weakness she clambered up the mountain to the two caves where Obadiah the prophet hid a hundred prophets during a time of famine and persecution, and fed them on bread and water (1 Kings 18.4).
Her journey then took her quickly to Nazareth, the home village of the Lord, and Cana and Capharnaum, famous for their miracles. She saw Lake Tiberias, sacred because the Lord sailed over it, and the desert where many thousands of people were fed from a few loaves, and twelve baskets representing the tribes of Israel were filled with the fragments left over (John 6.13). She gazed at Mt Thabor, where the Lord was transfigured (Matthew 17.1-9), and saw Mt Hermon in the distance above the wide plains of Galilee where Sisera and his army were laid low by Barak (Judges 4.16). Here the river Kishon divided the land into two parts. Quite near at hand was the city of Naim, where the widow's son was brought back to life (Luke 7.11-16). I would not have the time, let alone the words, to describe all the places through which this venerable Paula wandered with her incredible faith.
Chapter XII
I will pass on to Egypt, pausing a little on the way between Succoth and the spring of water which Samson obtained from the hollow of the donkey's jawbone (Judges 15.19). Here I shall moisten my dry lips and go on, refreshed, to see Morasthim, formerly the tomb of the prophet Micah and now a church. Leaving aside the Hittites and Gittites, Mareshah, Edom and Lachish, I shall travel into the vast expanses of the desert through shifting sands swallowing up the traveller's tracks, until I arrive at the river Sior (that is, "turbulent") in Egypt, where I shall travel through the five cities where the language of Canaan is spoken (Isaiah 19.18), Goshen and the plains of Taphneus where God did marvellous things, the city of No which afterwards became Alexandria, and Nitria, where the pure nitre of the virtues daily washes away the grime of many.
As she came in sight of it, she was met by the holy and venerable bishop and confessor, Isidore, together with a numberless crowd of monks, among whom were many of both the priestly and Levitical class, [i.e. presbyters and deacons] to whom she gave due respect. She gave glory to God at the sight of them, while confessing that she was quite unworthy of being given such honour. What can I tell you about Macarius, Arsenius and Serapion, [Famous names among the Fathers of the desert] and all the other pillars of Christ? Was there one of them whose cell she did not visit, or at whose feet she did not worship? She believed that she saw Christ in each one of them, and she rejoiced that whatever gift she was able to give them she was giving to Christ himself.
What marvellous zeal! What endurance, scarcely credible in a woman! Forgetful of her sex and the weakness of her body, she longed to dwell, along with the virgins who were her companions, among these thousands of monks. They all seemed willing to accept her, and perhaps she might have carried this desire into effect, had not the attraction of the holy places been greater. Escaping from the excessive heat she sailed from Pelusium to Maioma with the speed of a bird. Not much later she took up her permanent abode in Bethlehem, and lived for three years in a tiny little house until such time as she was able to build a monastery, and cells, and guesthouses for the many pilgrims who came seeking shelter by the side of the road where Mary and Joseph found no shelter.
Chapter XIII
Having now finished describing the journeys which she made in the company of her daughter and many other virgins, I am free to describe her own special virtues, and in doing so, as God is my judge and witness, I solemnly declare that I will exaggerate nothing, nor pile on excessive praise. I will rather exercise restraint, lest I should be thought to make claims which no one could believe. I will give no occasion to my detractors and backbiters to accuse me of dressing her up in fine feathers like Aesop's crow.
Humility, the greatest of Christian virtues was the one she sought after most eagerly. If you had never seen her before, and you had managed to see her because of her famous name, you would never have believed who she was, but would rather have thought she was the lowest type of servant girl. If you saw her in the midst of her community of virgins, you would think she was the least distinguished in clothing, in speech, in demeanour, in the way she walked.
From the time that her husband died to the day of her death she never took food in the company of any man, even if she knew he were a holy man, not even if he were the most celebrated of bishops. Only if she were dangerously ill would she consent to take a bath. Even when suffering from a severe fever she never slept on a soft mattress for her bed, but rested upon goatskins laid upon the unyielding earth, that is, if you can call it rest, when she practised continuous prayer day and night, in fulfilment of the psalm, 'Every night I wash my bed and pour out my tears upon my resting place' (Psalms 6.6). You would have thought her tears were a sort of fountain; she wept for her trivial sins as if she had been guilty of some terrible crime. We often urged her to have pity on her eyes and use them rather for reading the gospel.
"But it is right for my face to be disfigured," she would reply, "to make up for all the times I painted it with rouge and white lead and antimony. It is right to afflict my body, for it had once been used to enjoying all sorts of pleasant sensations. But now I am making up for my former years of raucous laughter by perpetual weeping, and I have exchanged the softness of linen and expensive silks for the roughness of a hair shirt. Where once I sought how to please my husband and the world, I now desire only to please Christ."
Chapter XIV
It would be superfluous for me to draw attention to her chastity, among such a great list of her virtues, even if I had wanted to, for even when she was still living in the world she was an outstanding example to all the matrons of Rome. She so conducted herself that even the most inveterate of gossips could never find anything evil to say about her. There was no one more kind-hearted than she, no one more easy with the lower classes. She did not court the favour of the powerful, nor yet did she shun those who were proud, or eager to flaunt their own little bit of glory. She gave aid to the poor, she exhorted the rich to give alms. Her liberality was the only extravagant thing about her. She often preferred to take out a loan and pay interest on it, rather than refuse a request for help.
Here I must confess my mistake, for I reproved her when I saw her overdoing her generosity. I quoted the Apostle to her: 'Don't let your generosity to others result in being overburdened yourself. Let there be equality between you, so that your abundance meets their need, and their abundance meets your need' (2 Corinthians 8.14). And I also mentioned what the Saviour says in the Gospel: 'If you have two coats, give one of them to him who has none' (Luke 3.11). I told her that she should be a bit more careful, because if she kept on being so liberal there would come a time when she would have nothing left to give. However much more I kept on telling her, she simply turned aside all my reproofs with gentleness and winning words, calling God as witness that it was in his name that she was doing everything, and that it was her wish to die a beggar, and to leave not so much as a single nummus to her daughter, and that she should be buried in a shroud provided by somebody else.
"If I have to beg," she finished up by saying, "I shall find many who will be prepared to help me, but if this beggar gets nothing from me, when I could give him something if I borrowed from somebody else, and then he dies, from whom will his soul be required?"
I wanted her to be a bit more circumspect about her family properties, but her faith was so ardent, so totally given to the Saviour, that poor in spirit she followed the Lord in his poverty, giving back to him what she had received, so that she too became poor for his sake. She obtained what she wanted, for she left her daughter with huge debts by which she is still burdened, trusting not in her own resources but in the mercy of Christ for them to be redeemed.
Chapter XV
Many matrons have the habit of paying their own publicity agents well, and are very generous to a few people while ignoring the needs of the many. Paula was entirely free of that vice. She dispensed her alms as she found necessary for each individual person, not to provide anyone with luxury, but simply to meet their needs. No poor person was turned away empty-handed. She managed this not because of her opulence but because of the prudent way she shared it out. She constantly had on her lips, 'Blessed are the merciful, for they shall find mercy' (Matthew 5.7), and 'Just as water extinguishes fire, so almsgiving extinguishes sin' (Ecclesiasticus 3.33), and 'Make for yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness so that they might receive you into everlasting mansions' (Luke 16.9), and the warning given to king Nebuchadnezzar by Daniel 'Redeem your sins by almsgiving' (Daniel 4.27).
She had no desire to invest her money in stones, destined to perish along with the earth and the world, but in living stones from which the city of the great king is built upon earth, as described in the Apocalypse of John under the symbols of sapphires, emeralds, jaspers and other jewels (Apocalypse 21.19). But, indeed, she shares these virtues with many others, and the devil knows that this is not where the greatest of virtues is to be found. For in the book of Job, after he has lost his belongings, his house and his children, the devil says to God, 'Skin for skin, all that a man has he will give for his life, but stretch forth your hand and touch his bones and his flesh, and then see if he will bless you to your face' (Job 2.4-5). We know of many people who give alms, but have not given themselves. They stretch out their hand to the poor but are in thrall to the desires of the flesh. They look clean on the outside, but inside there is nothing but dead men's bones (Matthew 23.27).
Paula was not like that. Her continence was above measure. Her body was weakened by excessive fasting and hard work. She took hardly any oil with her food, except on feast days, and from that one fact you may judge what she thought of wine and sauces, fish and milk, and honey and eggs and all the other things which are pleasant to the palate. Some people who eat these things compliment themselves on at least taking them quite frugally, and have no qualms about filling their stomachs with them, as long as they preserve their chastity.
Chapter XVI
But just as lightning strikes the highest mountains, so envy seeks to strike at virtue. It is not surprising if human beings are attacked by envy when the Lord himself was crucified by the zeal of the Pharisees, and all the saints along with him. There was a serpent even in Paradise, (Genesis 3.19), whose envy brought death into the world (Wisdom 2.24). So it was that the Lord stirred up a 'Hadad the Edomite' against Paula, [He was an enemy of Solomon (1 Kings 11.14). Jerome does not tell us who, or what, Paula's enemy was] to batter her lest she get above herself, and warn her by means of this thorn in the flesh (2 Corinthians 12.7) that the greatness of her virtues must not make her so conceited as to believe that she was above the vices of other women. I always used to say it was best to run away from malice and retreat in the face of rage, which is what Jacob did with Esau (Genesis 21.10), and David with that most persistent of enemies, Saul (1 Samuel27). The former fled to Mesopotamia, the latter to the Philistines, preferring to surrender to enemies rather than to live with the vindictive.
"That would be all very well," she replied, "if the devil did not wage war against the servants and handmaids of Christ everywhere, and was not there before them whatever land they might flee to. Besides, I am kept here by my love of the holy places. I would not be able to find another Bethlehem anywhere else on earth. Why should I not be able to overcome malice by patience, break down my pride by humility and by offering the other cheek to anyone who hits me (Matthew 5.39)? As the Apostle Paul says, "Overcome evil with good" (Romans 12.21). Didn't the apostles rejoice when they suffered persecution for Christ's sake (Acts 5.41)? Didn't the Saviour himself humble himself, taking the form of a servant, and become obedient unto death, even the death of the cross, that by his passion he might save us (Philippians 2.7-8)? If Job had not striven in the battle and won, he would not have been given the crown of righteousness, nor heard the Lord say, 'Do you think I should have spoken differently to you, so that you might have appeared to be in the right?' (Job 40.8). In the Gospel it is those who suffer persecution for righteousness' sake that are said to be blessed (Matthew 5.10). May my conscience always be clear, so long as it is not because of my sins that I am suffering. The troubles of this world are sure grounds for obtaining a reward."
Chapter XVII
When the devil was being more than usually impertinent and provoking her to a real quarrel, she sang from the Psalter, 'When the sinners attacked me I was dumb, refraining even from good words' (Psalms 39.2), and 'I became even as a deaf man and heard nothing, and as a dumb man I did not open my mouth, for I was like a man that does not hear, and in whose mouth are no reproofs' (Psalms 38.13-14). In temptations she turned over in her mind the words from Deuteronomy, 'The Lord your God is testing you, to see whether you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul' (Deuteronomy 13.3). In times of difficulty and sorrow she thought of the words of Isaiah, 'From the time you are weaned and taken from your mother's breast, you may expect nothing but trouble upon trouble, but also hope upon hope. Yet a little while shall these things be, because of lying lips and a deceitful tongue.' (Isaiah 28.9).
She found comfort in these words of Scripture, taking 'weaned' to mean 'arrived at mature age'. She understood that those who endured trouble upon trouble were those who had earned the right to hope upon hope, knowing that 'trouble gives rise to patience, and patience to trial, and trial to hope, and hope is not disappointed' (Romans 5.3-5), and 'What if our outer man perish? Our inner man is renewed. And the trifling and short-lived troubles of the present time are working towards an enormous glory for you who do not pin your hopes on things that are visible, but on the things which are not visible. For the things that are seen are temporal, the things that are not seen are eternal' (2 Corinthians 4.16-18).
"The time cannot long be delayed for the help of the Lord to be present among us," she would say, "even when to our human impatience it seems tardy. For 'In an acceptable time I listened to you, and in the day of salvation I came to your aid' (Isaiah 49.8). The lying lips and tongues of the wicked are not to be feared, for we rejoice in the help of the Lord. It is to him we must listen, warning us through the Prophet, 'Do not be afraid of the hostility of the people; do not let their blasphemies instil fear. For the moth shall eat them up like a garment, and the worm shall devour them like wool' (Isaiah 51.8), and, 'In patience you shall possess your souls' (Luke 21.19), and, 'The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us' (Romans 8.16). We should endure tribulation after tribulation, and be patient in everything that happens to us, for 'The patient man is of great understanding, but the timid and weak-minded man displays the height of folly' (Proverbs 14.29)."
When weary and weighed down with ill-health, she would say: 'When I am weak, then am I strong' (2 Corinthians 12.10), and 'We have this treasure in earthen vessels' (2 Corinthians 4.4), until 'this mortality shall take on immortality, and this corruptible flesh shall take on incorruption' (1 Corinthians 15.53), and 'Inasmuch as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so also shall his consolation' (2 Corinthians 1.7). In sorrow she used to sing, 'Why so cast down, O my soul, and why so troubled? Hope in God and put your trust in him, for he is the help of my countenance and my God' (Psalms 42.5). If she was in any kind of danger she would say, 'He who would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me, for he who would save his soul shall lose it, and he who would lose his soul for my sake shall save it' (Luke 9.23-24).
When she was told that her family funds were seriously depleted, and her patrimony in ruins, she said 'What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his soul, or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?' (Matthew 16.26), and, 'Naked I came forth from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. As the Lord pleases, so is it done. Blessed be the name of the Lord' (Job 1.21), and, 'Love not the world nor the things of this world, for all that is of this world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life, is not of the Father but of the world. And the world passes away and the lust thereof' (1 John 2.15-16). I know that when she received letters about her children's illnesses, especially those of Toxotius whom she loved above all, she first of all said with admirable self-control 'I was troubled but said nothing' (Psalms 77.4), and then burst out with 'He who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me' (Matthew 10.37). And she prayed to the Lord, saying, 'Preserve, O lord, the children of those appointed to die, who die daily in their own bodies for your sake' (Psalms 79.11).
Chapter XVIII
I have been told of a certain gossip-monger (that most dangerous specimen of the human race) who under the pretence of being kind told her that there were certain people who thought that because of her excessive zeal she must be mad, and that she should have her head seen to. Her reply was, 'We have become a spectacle to the world, and to Angels, and to the human race' (1 Corinthians 4.9), and, 'We have become fools for Christ, but the foolishness of God is wiser than men' (1 Corinthians 1.25). Hence the Saviour says to the Father, 'You know my foolishness' (Psalms 69.5), and 'I am become an object of wonder to many people, but you are my strong helper' (Psalms 71.7), and, 'I am become as it were a beast of burden before you, but I am always with you' (Psalms 73.22-23). In the Gospels we learn that even his friends wanted to bind him as being someone of a disturbed mind (Mark 3.21), saying he had a demon and was a Samaritan (John 8.48), and, 'He casts out demons in the name of Beelzebub, the prince of demons' (Matthew 12.24).
But she took heed of the exhortation of the Apostle, 'This is what we rejoice in, the witness of our own conscience, in holiness and sincerity, and in the grace of God which upholds us in this world' (2 Corinthians 1.12). And she listened to what the Lord said to the disciples, 'Therefore the world has hated you, because you are not of this world. If you were of this world, the world would love you as its own' (John 15.19). And she spoke to the Lord in the words of the psalm: 'You know the secrets of my heart (Psalms 44.21); all this has come upon us, but we have not forgotten you or acted wickedly against your covenant or turned our hearts away from you', and, 'For your sake are we killed all the day long, we have become as sheep for the slaughter, but you O Lord are my helper, I shall not fear what men can do to me' (Psalms 118.6). She read also the words of Solomon, 'My son, trust in the Lord and he will be your strength, and you shall fear no one but him' (Proverbs 7.2).
With these texts and many others she clothed herself in the armour of God against all adversities, and especially against the envy of those who denigrated her. She suffered insults patiently, and soothed the fury of those who raged against her. To the last day of her life these two things were conspicuous, her own patience, and the malice of others towards her. Jealousy gnaws away at the person who practises it, and turns its own fury in upon itself.
Chapter XIX
I shall now treat of the order of her monastery and of how she turned abstinence of those holy souls to her own profit. What she sowed in the flesh she reaped in the spirit, for earthly gifts she received in exchange spiritual gifts, she gave up fleeting pleasures and gained eternity. She gave the governance of the men's monastery into the hands of the men themselves, then gathered together a number of virgins from different provinces, some of them noble, some middle class, and some from the lowest class. She divided them into three companies or monasteries, and although they worked and dined separately, they all joined together for psalms and prayers.
After the singing of the Alleluia (the sign for them to come together), no one was allowed to stay behind. She was always first, or at least among the first, and then she would wait until the others had all arrived. She encouraged them to work conscientiously not through fear but by her modesty and example. They sang the psalter according to the rule in the morning, the third hour, the sixth, the ninth, at vespers, and in the middle of the night. The sisters had to know the psalms thoroughly, and during the rest of the day they had to learn some portion of the Scriptures.
On Sundays they went to the church near where they lived, each company proceeding in a line behind their mother superior. They went back in the same way, after which they would devote themselves to their allotted duties, and make garments either for themselves or for others. Anyone who was noble was not allowed to bring with them anyone from their household, lest they start remembering all the things they used to do, and start scratching at the thoughts of their former undisciplined childish waywardness, keeping it alive by constantly talking about it.
They all wore the same kind of dress. Linen was not used except for drying the hands. They were separated so strictly from men that she would not even allow eunuchs to come near them, to avoid giving occasion to the scandalous tongues that love to carp in order to draw attention away from their own misdoings.
She had various means of correcting people who came late for the psalms, or were slack in their work. If a sister was a bit temperamental she was gentle with her, but if she was fairly placid, her rebukes were quite firm. In this way she imitated the Apostle who said, 'What would you? Shall I visit you with a rod, or shall it be with gentleness and kindness?' (1 Corinthians 4.21). None was allowed to possess anything except food and clothing, in obedience to Paul who said, 'Having food and clothing, therewith be content' (1 Timothy 6.8). If they were to get into the habit of possessing more than that it could give rise to the vice of avarice, which is never satisfied with what it has got. The more one has the more one wants, and it is the same for both rich and poor. If any were quarrelling among themselves she reconciled them by her persuasive counselling. She disciplined the unruly desires of the flesh among the younger ones by doubling their fasts, preferring that their stomachs should suffer rather than their souls.
If she noticed anyone taking too much trouble about their appearance, she would frown disapprovingly and tell them that too much care over cleanliness of body and dress argued a certain uncleanliness of soul. Bawdy and improper words should never soil a virgin's lips. They are the sign of a lascivious mind, and it is through the outer man that the vices of the inner man are made clear. Anyone wordy and garrulous, or provocative, or forever stirring up trouble, would be reproved for quite a few times, but if she failed to mend her ways she would be put in the lowest place, outside the company of the other sisters altogether. She would be made to pray at the doorway of the refectory, and to take her food separately from the others, in the hope that where verbal correction had failed, shame might succeed.
Theft was regarded as something almost sacrilegious. Among worldly people it may be regarded as something not very serious or nothing to worry about, here in the monastery it was thought to be the most grave sort of offence.
How can I adequately describe her considerate and painstaking care for the sick, whom she nursed with wonderfully whole-hearted attention to detail? It was only when other people were sick that she showed any sign of wholesale relaxation of the rules - she even allowed the sick to eat meat! - but if she herself was ill she allowed herself no indulgence whatsoever. This was one area where there was no possibility of equal treatment for all; to herself she showed no mercy, clemency was reserved for others.
No young woman, however healthy and lively, would have fasted as much as she did, with her broken down and decrepit old body. I can testify that she was absolutely unyielding in this respect; she would not spare herself and would not listen to anyone advising her otherwise.
I will tell you about something which I was involved in. In the debilitating heat of one July she fell ill with a burning fever. We almost despaired of her life, but by the mercy of God she rallied a little, and the doctor advised that she should drink a little wine to refresh her body, warning her that to continue drinking water might make her dropsical. I secretly begged the blessed pope Epiphanius to urge her, compel her even, to drink the wine, but she was so discerning and clever that she immediately saw through what he was saying, and with a sly smile realised that the advice he was giving her was not his but mine. This blessed bishop spent quite a long time with her, but when he came out and I asked him how he had got on, his reply was, "Old man though I am, she almost persuaded me that I should never drink wine"!
I tell you all this not because I approve of anyone taking unreasonable burdens upon themselves beyond their strength, for does not Scripture warn us not to burden ourselves above our power (Ecclesiasticus 13.2)? I simply want to show how single-minded she was in her ardour of spirit and faithfulness of soul. She was forever singing, 'My soul thirsts for you, my flesh also in every possible way' (Psalms 63.1).
Chapter XX
It is always difficult to avoid going to extremes. The philosophers are quite right to say that 'virtue lies in the mean, it is excess which constitutes vice'.We could put this more succinctly by saying, 'Nothing to excess'. But she was unyielding in her contempt for food, and at the same time exceedingly shaken by grief at any deaths of anyone she knew, especially her children. Indeed, in the deaths of her husband as well as her children she was in danger of dying from grief herself. She would sign her mouth and breast with the cross, in an attempt to alleviate a mother's distress, but she would still be overcome with emotion; however great her faith, her parental yearning was stronger. It was a physical thing which she could not banish, even though her faith remain firm. Once she had let this depression take hold of her, it went on for such a long time that her life seemed to be in danger and we were very concerned about her. And she found pleasure in saying over and over again, 'Wretch that I am! Who shall liberate me from the body of this death?" (Romans 7.24).
You will probably say, dear reader, that I have now changed my praise for criticism. But I call Jesus to witness, whom she served and whom I desire to serve, that I am in no way telling things other than the way they were. I am simply writing as a Christian man about a Christian woman. I am simply telling you the truth. I am writing a history not a panegyric, though what are faults in her might well seem to be virtues in anyone else. I simply speak of her faults as I saw them, and as all of us, her brothers and sisters lovingly saw them. We love her still, and lament her loss.
Chapter XXI
And so she had finished her course, she has kept the faith and now enjoys the crown of righteousness (2 Timothy 4.7-8), having followed the Lamb whithersoever he went (Revelations 14.4). Her thirst has been satisfied, and she sings with joy, 'As we heard, so have we seen, in the city of the power of the Lord, in the city of our God' (Psalms 48.8). What a blessed exchange! - she who wept now laughs for ever. Once she looked down on broken cisterns, but now she has found the fountain of life (Jeremiah 2.13). She used to wear a hair shirt, but now she is clothed in white garments, and sings, 'You have put off my sackcloth and girded me with joy' (Psalms 30.11). She ate ashes as it were bread and mingled her tears with her weeping (Psalms 102.9), saying, 'My tears have been my meat, day and night' (Psalms 42.3), but now she eats the bread of Angels for ever, and sings, 'O taste and see how gracious the Lord is!' (Psalms 34.8), and, 'My heart is bursting forth with the word of blessedness. I tell of my works to the king' (Psalms 45.1). And the words of Isaiah, or rather the words of the Lord through the mouth of Isaiah, are fulfilled in her: 'Behold, those who serve me shall eat, but you will be hungry, they shall drink, but you will be thirsty, they shall rejoice, but you will be cast down. Behold those who serve me shall shout aloud for joy, but you shall cry out in the sorrow of your hearts, and howl for your sadness of spirit' (Isaiah 65.13-14).
Chapter XXII
I must briefly mention the manner in which she fled from the broken cisterns, enabling her to find the fountain of the Lord (Jeremiah 2.13) and sing, 'Like as the hart desires the water-brooks, so longs my soul after you, O God. When shall I come to appear before the face of God?' (Psalms 42.1-2). The heretics were the polluted cisterns she avoided; she held them to be no better than the heathen. There was a certain cunning knave, very learned and clever in his own estimation, who without my knowledge was putting certain questions to her.
"What sins has an infant committed, that he needs to be rescued from the devil? In the resurrection what age shall we be? If we are to be of the same age as that at which we die, there will be a need for nursemaids. But if we will be of a different age, that would not be a resurrection of the dead, but a transformation into somebody different Will there still be different sexes, male and female, or not? If yes, it follows there would have to be marriage, and intercourse, and childbearing. If not, then we would be beings without any sexual distinction, and so the body that arose from the dead would not be the same body. 'The earthly tabernacle weighs down the mind that thinks about many matters' (Wisdom 9.15), but in heaven we shall be unsubstantial and spiritual, as the Apostle says, 'It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body' (2 Corinthians 15.44)."
He was trying to prove, out of all this, that rational creatures, because of some ancient vices and sins, had been sent into bodily form, and subjected to such conditions as befitted the variety and seriousness of their sins. Some enjoy physical health, being born to rich and noble parents, some have ill health, born into needy households, suffering the penalty of their former sins, and enclosed bodily in this present age as if in a prison. When she had listened to all this, she asked me about it and pointed the man out to me. I could see how necessary it was to counter the arguments of this wicked viper, this death-dealing beast, about whom the Psalmist says, 'Do not hand over the soul of those who trust in you into the power of the wild beasts' (Psalms 74.19), and, 'Set your face against the wild beasts of the reeds' (Psalms 68.30, Vulgate), whose writing is wicked, who speak lies against the Lord, and lift up their voices on high.
She asked me to talk to this man who had been trying to deceive her, so I asked him to meet me, and I set him a problem.
"Do you believe in the resurrection of the dead, or not?" I asked him
"Yes, of course," was the reply.
"Do they rise with the same body, or a different one?"
"Well, the same."
"Of the same sex as before, or different?"
He seemed disinclined to reply, and waved his head about this way and that like a serpent trying to avoid being struck.
"Since you won't answer," I said, "I will answer for you, and give you what follows on logically from your last reply. You say they rise with the same body, that is, women as women and men as men. If not, there is no resurrection of the dead. The difference between the sexes lies in their bodily function, and bodily function defines what the whole body is. Resurrection of the dead, therefore, must mean that the sexes rise with distinct bodily functions, otherwise it would not be resurrection from the dead. If it is not resurrection of the whole body it is not a true resurrection of the dead.
"Now, as to your other argument, your objection that if there are different bodily functions, there must also be marriage, the Saviour himself has already solved that one, for he said, 'You are wrong. You do not know the Scriptures or the power of God, for in the resurrection there is neither marrying nor being given in marriage, but they are like the Angels' (Matthew 22.29.30). In saying 'neither marrying nor being given in marriage' he confirms that the sexes will still be different. One does not talk about sticks and stones as either marrying or being given in marriage; they just do not have the possibility of marriage. In the resurrection, people must still have the possibility of marriage, but because of the grace and power of Christ they don't exercise it.
"And if you ask how can we be like Angels, who are neither male nor female, let me give you a brief answer. It is not the nature of Angels that the Lord promises us but their way of life and their blessedness. So it is that John the Baptist, even before his death by beheading, is called an Angel. [In Luke 7.27 it is written of John, 'Behold I send my angelos before your face'. Angelos in Greek simply means messenger] Besides, all the holy virgins of God, even in this life, show forth the Angelic life. We are promised a likeness, not a change of nature.
"Tell me also, how do you interpret Thomas touching the hands of the risen Lord, and looking at the wound of the spear in his side (John 20.27)? Or Peter who saw the Lord standing on the shore. And they also saw him eating a piece of roasted fish and a honeycomb (Luke 24.42). The fact that he was 'standing' shows that he must have had feet. The fact that he showed them his wounded side proves that he also had a chest and an abdomen, because you can't have a side without a chest and an abdomen for the side to be attached to. He spoke to them, so he must have had a tongue and a palate and teeth. Like a plectrum touching the strings, so the tongue engaging with the teeth produces a voice. If his hands were touched he must also have had arms. You could go through all the members of the body like this, and find that he had a whole body, made up of all its members, a male body like the body he died with, not a female body.
"And if you wonder whether we shall need to eat after the resurrection, or how it is that we should enter a room through closed doors, contrary to the properties of thick, solid bodies (John 20.26), then listen: don't make a mockery of faith in the resurrection because of a quibble about food. When the daughter of the ruler of the synagogue was raised Christ ordered that she be given something to eat (Mark 5.43). And it is written that Lazarus who had been dead for four days sat at meat (John12.2). These things were written to prevent us thinking that they were mere phantoms that were raised.
"And if you argue from the account of him walking through closed doors, that his body was always spiritual and wraithlike, and his body must have been a spiritual body even before he suffered, especially since he was able to walk on water, then Peter also, who walked lightly upon the water, must also be believed to have had a spiritual body, when it was really a simple case of God showing forth his power of being able to overcome the forces of nature. To make it quite clear that this great sign was for the purpose of showing God's power, and not for changing nature into something different, remember that Peter who walked on the water by faith, would have sunk as soon as his faith wavered, if the hand of the Lord had not lifted him up, saying, 'O you of little faith, why did you doubt?' (Matthew 14.26-31).
"I am astonished that you can be so stubborn [or pig-headed? lit, 'harden your forehead'] when the Lord has said, 'Reach out your finger and touch my hands, and thrust your hand into my side, and don't be faithless but believing' (John 20.27). And again, 'Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself. Touch me, and see, for a spirit does not have flesh and bones, as you can see that I have. And when he had said that, he showed them his hands and his feet' (Luke 24.39). Bones, flesh, feet, hands - are you listening? Don't talk to me of the airy rubbish about the spheres that the Stoics go on about.
"But if you want to talk about infants who have committed no sin being saved from the devil, and what age they will appear to be in the resurrection, having died at a variety of different ages, I don't suppose you will be pleased with my answer - 'The judgments of God are like a bottomless deep' (Psalms 36.6), and, 'O the depth of the riches of the knowledge and wisdom of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and his ways past finding out! Who shall know the mind of the Lord or who will give him counsel?' (Romans 11.33). The essential integrity of the body is not altered by the variety of ages through which it passes. Our bodies are daily in a state of flux, either getting stronger or getting weaker; are we constantly changing into different people because our bodies change? Am I not the same person when I was ten as when I was thirty, or fifty, or now when I am gray-headed? So then, the traditions of the church and the apostle Paul reply that we are resurrected into the perfect man, according to the measure of the age of the fulness of Christ (Ephesians 4.13). The Jews assume Adam to have been created as if at the age of thirty; it is the age at which we read that our Lord and Saviour arose from the dead."
All this and a great deal more I offered him from both Testaments in order to confound this heretic. From that day onwards she conceived a detestation of the man and of all those who were of his opinion, and publicly declared that they were the enemies of the Lord. I said it all not in the hope that I would be able to refute his heresy thus briefly, for it would take many books to do that. But I did want to outline the true faith to this great woman, for she always preferred to endure the hostility of other people, rather than offend God by forming harmful friendships.
Chapter XXIII
But I must return to the main drift of my story. I have never met anyone more teachable than her. She was always slow to speak and swift to hear (James 1.19), mindful of the precept 'Hear, O Israel, and be still'. She knew the Scriptures by heart. She loved the histories, and said that all truth was founded on them, but she was even more eager to discern the spiritual truth underlying them, and with this keystone she ensured the integrity of the building of her soul. She asked that she and her daughter might read over the old and new Testaments under my guidance. Out of modesty I would not agree at first, but at last in reply to her many persistent requests I agreed to pass on to her what I had learnt from the famous teachers of the Church, not presuming to be that worst type of teacher, someone who thinks he knows it all. Whenever I hesitated, and frankly confessed that I was not quite sure of the right answer, she would not leave it there, but would keep on probing, urging me to say which of various different opinions was most likely to be the right one.
I will tell you something else she did, which to anyone who has tried it would seem to be quite impossible. She said she wanted to learn Hebrew, and gave herself diligently to it. Now I had studied Hebrew from my youth up with much sweat and toil, and have never ceased to ruminate in it, lest the knowledge of it desert me. But she can now sing the psalms in Hebrew, and pronounce the words without a trace of a Latin accent. Even today her holy daughter Eustochium displays the same kind of ability - but of course she has always remained very close to her mother, and obeyed her commands. She has never slept apart from her, or gone anywhere without her, eaten apart from her, or possessed a single nummus of her own. She was perfectly happy for the patrimony of her father and mother to be distributed to the poor; she was quite certain that the godliness of her parents was the richest possible inheritance she could receive.
I must not pass over, either, how joyful she was to hear her grandchild, Paula, the daughter of her son Toxotius and Laeta, lisp out falteringly while still in her cradle the words "Alleluia", and "gran'ma" and "aunt". Little Paula had been conceived in answer to a vow that she would be dedicated to virginity when she grew up, and there was one reason alone for the grandmother to wish to see her native land again, and that was that she might see that her son and daughter-in-law and granddaughter had renounced the world and dedicated themselves to the service of Christ. And that has been granted to her in part. For although the granddaughter has not yet fulfilled her destiny of becoming the bride of Christ, her daughter in law has vowed herself to perpetual chastity, and follows her mother-in-law's example of faith and almsgiving, resolved to do in Rome the same sort of thing that Paula does in Bethlehem.
Chapter XXIV
O my soul, what is the matter with you? Why are you so afraid of telling about her death? I have already spun my tale out longer than necessary, unwilling to come to the end of her life, as if by keeping quiet about it and concentrating on praising her, I could put off the evil day. Up till now we have travelled with favourable winds, and my keel has ploughed smoothly through the heaving waves of the sea, but now I am running upon the rocks, with tumultuous waves threatening on all sides. We are so badly in danger of shipwreck that I cry out, 'Master, save us, we perish!' (Luke 8.24), and 'Arise, O Lord, why are you sleeping?' (Psalms 44.23).
For how can anyone tell the story of Paula's death with dry eyes? She fell into a severe illness, in which she indeed seemed to welcome the idea of leaving us in order to be joined to the Lord. The loving care which her daughter, Eustochium, had always shown towards her came even more to the fore in this illness, for she sat by her bedside, fanned her, supported her head, plumped up her pillows, rubbed her feet, massaged her stomach, straitened out the bedclothes, warmed water for her, and brought her towels. In fact she forestalled the other nurses in all their duties, counting it loss to herself if anyone else did anything for her at all.
What tears she shed, what sighs and laments she uttered, as she ran back and forth between the cave of the Lord and the place where Paula was lying! How often she begged that she might not lose such a dear companion, or if she must, that she might share the same bier with her. How frail and fleeting is our mortal nature! Had it not been for the faith of Christ which raises us to the heavens with the promise of eternal life, our fate is one with the bodies of beasts both wild and tame. There is one grave for both the righteous and the ungodly, the good and the evil, the clean and the unclean, the worshipper and the non-worshipper. The good man and the sinner both come to the same end, as do the man who swears and the man who fears to take an oath. Both men and beasts, we all go down into dust and ashes (Ecclesiastes 9.2).
Chapter XXV
Why do I delay? Why make it into a much sadder story by dragging things out! This most discerning of women knew that her end was near. Both body and limbs were growing cold; only the warmth of her soul still struggled in her holy breast. As if she were going home and saying goodbye to strangers, she murmured 'Lord I have loved the beauty of your house and the place where your glory dwells' (Psalms 26.8), and, 'How lovely are your tabernacles, O Lord of might! My soul faints with longing to enter into the courts of the Lord' (Psalms 84.1-2), and, 'I had rather be the least in the house of God than dwell in the tents of the ungodly'.
I spoke to her, she fell silent, and when I asked her why, and whether she was in pain, she replied in Greek that she had no pain, but that all was peace and tranquillity. She spoke to us no more, but closed her eyes as though taking leave of everything mortal, and continued until her last breath repeating those words from the Psalms, so softly that we could scarcely hear them. She lifted her hand to her mouth and made the sign of the cross on her lips. Her spirits sank, she gasped for breath, her soul struggled to break forth, the death rattle which usually accompanies death was turned into the praise of the Lord.
The bishop of Jerusalem and some from other cities, numbers from the lower priesthood and the Levites all gathered together; [i.e. bishops, priests and deacons, in our terms. Priesthood, sacerdotium, resided primarily in the bishop, and to presbyters if the bishop so chose to confer it. The levitical class, the deacons, were a class on their own] groups of monks and virgins filled every monastery to overflowing. And when Paula heard the bridegroom calling, 'Arise, my love, my fair one, my dove, for the winter is past and gone, the rains have ceased', she joyfully replied, 'The flowers are seen on the earth, the time to cut them has come' (Song of Songs 2.10-11), and, 'I truly believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living' (Psalms 27.13).
Chapter XXVI
There was no weeping or lamentation such as is customary among people of the world, but all joined together in singing psalms in their various tongues. The bishops bowed their necks to carry her bier, while others brought torches and tapers to lead the choirs of psalmody as she was placed in the middle of the church of the Saviour's cave. The whole of Jerusalem turned out for her funeral. Was there a single hermit who kept to his desert cell? Was there a virgin who remained enclosed? They would all have deemed it sacrilege not to have paid their last respects to such a great woman. The poor and the widows all showed the garments which she had provided them with, following the example of Dorcas (Acts 9.39). A large crowd of the needy cried aloud that they had lost a mother and a nurse.
Wonderful to relate, her face had not become pallid; her features were as grave and dignified as if she were not dead but sleeping. Psalms could be heard being sung in Hebrew, Greek, Latin and Syriac, not only during the three days before she was laid to rest in the church of the Saviour's cave, but for the rest of the week as well. All those there shed tears as if it were their own funeral they were attending. Her revered daughter Eustochium, as if being newly weaned, could hardly be dragged away from her mother. She kissed her eyes, she laid her cheek on hers, she embraced her whole body in her desire to be buried with her.
Chapter XXVII
As Jesus is my witness, she left not a single nummus to her daughter, only a mountain of debt, as I have already mentioned, and what was even more difficult, she left an immense host of brothers and sisters who were difficult to maintain and whom it would have been quite wrong to cast off. Can there be anything more astonishing than that this woman sprung from the most noble of families, formerly of immense wealth, had so divested herself of everything she owned that she finished up in the extremes of poverty herself? Others may boast of the alms they have given, or of the rewards stored up for them in God's treasury, or of the votive gifts hanging in the midst of tapers of gold. But no one has given so much to the poor that nothing was left for herself. But now she enjoys those riches and delights which eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor entered into the heart of mankind (Isaiah 64.4 & 1 Corinthians 2.9). If we were to carry on weeping for her now that she reigns with Christ, it would seem as if we were weeping because we ourselves were envious of her glory.
Rest secure, Eustochium. You have been endowed with a great inheritance. The Lord is your portion, and what should rejoice you more, your mother has been given the crown of her long martyrdom. Martyrs are not only those who have shed their blood; the pure offering of a devoted soul is itself a daily martyrdom. She has been crowned with roses and violets, albeit lilies are reserved for those who have shed their blood. Hence it is that we read in the Song of Songs 'My beloved is white and ruddy' (Song of Songs 5.10); God gives the same reward to anyone who is victorious, whether in peace or in war.
Your mother paid heed to the same command as was given to Abraham, 'Leave your own land and nation and go into a land that I will show you' (Genesis 12.1). The Lord also warned through the words of Jeremiah, 'Flee from Babylon and save your souls' (Jeremiah 50.28). Paula likewise left her own land and to the day of her death did not return to the land of the Chaldees, [i.e. Rome. cf. Genesis 11.31] nor did she hanker after the fleshpots of Egypt (Exodus 16.3), but joined to the company of virgins she became a citizen of the city of the Lord, and now that she has gone up from the little town of Bethlehem to the kingdom of heaven, she says to the real Noemi, 'Your people is my people, and your God is my God' (Ruth 1.16).
Chapter XXVIII
I have burned the midnight oil for two nights over this little essay for you, with the same sort of grief as you must be feeling. I have had to dictate it, for as often as I have picked up my pen to do what I had promised you, my fingers just went stiff, my hand failed me, I lost all sensation in it. Hence the unpolished style, lacking any elegance or verbal charm, which bears witness to the writer's feelings.
Chapter XXIX
Farewell, O Paula, and may your prayers come to the aid of one who holds you in deep reverence. Your faith and works unite you to Christ. Now you are in his very presence you may gain answers to your requests all the more easily. In your honour I have built a monument more lasting than bronze, which the years will not be able to destroy. I have had a eulogy inscribed on your tomb, which I here copy out for you, so that wherever the words that I have written may reach to, the reader may know that your praise is also recorded in Bethlehem where you are buried.
THE INSCRIPTION ON PAULA'S TOMB
Offspring of Scipio, born of the Pauline house, an offshoot of the Gracchi, and descendant of the famous Agamemnon, here in this grave lies Paula, so-named after her ancestors. Eustochium was her daughter. She was the first of Roman ladies. She chose poverty with Christ and Bethlehem for her country.
ON THE FRONT OF THE CAVE
Do you see this sepulchre, carved out of the living rock? It is the tomb of Paula who now lives in the heavenly kingdom. She left her brother, her family, Rome, her native land, her wealth, her children, and is buried in this Bethlehem cave. Your manger, O Christ is here, and here the Magi, bearing their mystical gifts, worshipped the God-made-man.
Chapter XX
The holy and blessed Paula fell asleep on the seventh day before the Kalends of February, [22 January] on the third day of the week, after sunset. She was buried on the fifth day before the Kalends of February, [24 January] in the sixth consulship of Honorius Augustus, and the first of Aristænetus. [The year 404]
She lived in religious vows for five years at Rome and twenty years at Bethlehem. She died at the age of fifty-six years, eight months and twenty-one days.- Life of St. Marcella, widow, by Jerome, presbyter --- Life of St. Pelagia, the Harlot
• De Vitis Patrum, by Rufinus
Prologue. Blessed be God who wills all men to be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth.
It is he who has guided our steps to Egypt, and showed us great wonders, to be
recorded for the benefit of posterity. In this history will be found salutary examples
and teachings most conducive to true devotion, which for anyone wishing to walk in
holiness will reveal clearly the pathways along which our forefathers in the faith have
walked. ---- (Read More Here)= = = =
Taken from "Lives of the Desert Fathers"
= = =- Bible Broadcasting Network. Listen online: BBN *
Glenn Gould: An Appreciation
• Glenn Gould and Leonard Bernstein: Bach's Keyboard Concerto No. 1 in D Minor (BWV 1052)
• Glenn Gould: Wiki Visually *
• Genius Within: The Inner Life of Glenn Gould (YouTube Video)
• Glenn Gould Plays Bach Concerto BWV 974
• Glenn Gould (Wikipedia)
• Performer Spotlight: Glenn Gould, the Bach Wizard
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
• Glenn Gould: On the Record (Documentary). 30 min.
This short documentary follows Glenn Gould to New York City. There, we see the renowned Canadian concert pianist kidding the cab driver, bantering with sound engineers at Columbia Records, and then, alone with the piano, fastidiously recording Bach's Italian Concerto.
= = = = = =
• The Glenn Gould Official Channel
= = = =• Gods of the New Age. Hindu false gods.
• Stripping the Gurus. Exposé of Yogananda
• Spiritual Forums: Yoga Fraud - - - - Yogananda: False prophecies. - - Baffling Yogananda Matters --
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