One of the many misconceptions about insanity is that being homicidal, mentally unstable, or just downright disturbed is some sort of handicap. By no means is this any truer than when that sympathetic-but-stupid person on the street says, "It isn�t as bad as you think and no one�s out to get you," because *YES*, it is as bad you think, and *YES*, they are out to get you.

And just why is everyone out to get you? The same no-longer-so-sympathetic-but-still-stupid person on the street would say, "It�s because of your attitude problem."

Nuh-uh- it isn�t your attitude problem, it�s everyone else�s perception problem, and for that reason, so many "troubled" but still *REALLY COOL* kids get all those patronizing, scared, and dirty looks sent their way as they rig that next OZ base to go up in flames.

Still, that�s how it is and everything�s all fun and games until Relena Peacecraft gets run over by a Gundam- no wait, scratch that- it will *STILL* be fun and games because quite frankly, no one, certainly not Duo T. Maxwell, gives a freakin� shit.

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Duo and Heero stood in front of the little red brick school house and watched the kids run out of the door, screaming bloody murder at the top of their bloody lungs.

"Hey there!" Duo called to a little boy, who immediately skipped over.

"Hi, Uncle Duo!" the child chirped in a manner seen on The Big Comfy Couch; Heero turned and rubbed the bridge of his nose, pitying the wretched world upon which these little schoolhouse terrors would be released.

"So what�cha learn today?"

The little boy lifted his chin proudly and recited in a voice loud enough to wake the dead,

"SEX IS EVIL, EVIL IS SIN, SIN IS FORGIVEN, SO STICK IT IN!!!!!!!!!"

"Um, gotta go! By the way, smart teacher ya got there!" The little boy turned around to see his "Uncle Duo" gone and everyone within a mile radius staring at him.

Later that night�

The leaves rustled as the two pilots tried to make room in the tree.

"Hey, Hee-chan, is it safe to come down?"

A tousled brown head poked out from the leaves and snapped back just as quickly when cobalt eyes came upon a fifty-something man snoring on the bench. "Not yet, someone�s still here."

"Shit�"

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Master Winner closed his eyes and let out a low string of Arabic curses as yet another car swerved and cut him off.

"Papa, that�s not very nice," chided his fifteen-year-old son, Quatre, who sat in the backseat.

"Quatre, please," his father muttered, "Not now�" All of a sudden, another car cut in front of him, almost making his Ferrari swerve into a fire hydrant. "LEARN HOW TO DRIVE!" he shouted, his head sticking out nearly a foot from the car, face purple with rage, dignity thrown to the litter box.

In response, a young woman with fire red curls looked out and shouted, "SHUDDUP, YOU-" She suddenly stopped and looked at Master Winner strangely, as if she recognized him. "HEY I KNOW YOU!!!" she yelled in dismay.

"AND HOW, PRAYTELL?" Winner replied, with a look that could�ve scared even Quatre�s older sisters, the look of a man late for work and deprived of coffee.

"MY DELINQUENT BROTHER FUCKS YOUR HONOR STUDENT SON ON A DAILY BASIS!!!"

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It was an average Sunday morning, with average people with their average kids filing quietly into the church. Within minutes, the pews were filled with mothers, father, babies with their drool encrusted toys�

The organ began to strike up a low melody and everyone turned to watch the young priest make his way up to the altar, his long robe sweeping the carpet. Slowly, Duo stepped up to the altar, turned to bless the crucifix behind him, and then to the expectant crowd who waited so eagerly to hear his words of wisdom.

"Good morning, may the Lord be with you."

"And also with you," The crowd answered in unison.

"Welcome to the church of cabbage� lettuce pray."

All the way at the back of the church, in the very last pew, a whole row of Chibi Duos sat in little green cabbage costumes, chanting, "Salad, salad, salad!"

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As the mourners gathered around the casket, they also parted to let the young man, the nephew of the wise, rich old man that had passed away so recently, through. It was quite obvious that he would be giving the eulogy at the funeral.

At this point, the old widow of the deceased man, began to cry hysterically into her son-in-law�s shoulder. The rest watched sadly as Chang Wufei took his place next to the coffin and cleared his throat to speak, his dark eyes fixed on his dead uncle.

"He who dies with the most riches is, nonetheless, dead. Thank you."

With that, he bowed and walked away.

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It was about ten at night; Wufei was on a mission, Quatre and Trowa had gone off to God knows where, leaving Heero and Duo to their own twisted, nymphomaniacal devices.

"Duo, it�s really late. Let�s just go with the bed."

"B-but, I really wanna try this!"

"But-"

"But what?"

"I don�t know. It looks too dangerous."

"Nah, sex on TV doesn�t hurt."

"Okay then."

"Yes!"

After a moment�

"Unnnhhh�"

"Oooooh, do that again!"

"Harder, harder!"

"I�M COMING, I�M COM-"

*CRASH*

"Duo?"

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Yep, hold on. OW!"

"���."

"Okay, okay, I was wrong. Sex on TV doesn�t hurt unless you fall off."

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"It�s not so bad, Cathy�"

"YES, IT IS!" Catherine sobbed, more or less ignoring her brother�s attempts to comfort her. "I�ll never see him again!"

"But-"

"BUT WHAT, TROWA?!" Catherine shot him a dangerous glance as she blew her nose into a lacy handkerchief.

"�your cat-"

This only made the young woman cry even harder, thoroughly drenching Trowa in her tears. "YES, MY POOR KITTY!"

"Uh�" Trowa shifted uncomfortably where he stood and mumbled, "You might want to check under my front tire�"

"NOOOOOO!!! TROWA, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!" Catherine, at this point, just about went into hysterics.

Her brother sighed and gently patted her hair. "Don�t cry, Cathy- or wait a sec, just keep crying; then you�ll have less to pee later on."

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"In the name of peace, Earth and the colonies must not only coexist with each other, but also work together to keep future wars from breaking out. I, Queen Relena Peacecraft of the Sank Kingdom, vow to do all that is in my power to bring this peace about- yes, Duo?"

"I�m sorry, you must think we care."

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"Bring in the Gundam pilot."

"Yes sir!" A moment later, a struggling, cursing Chinese boy was dragged in.

"JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED, YOU BASTARDS!!!" he shouted as the door slammed shut, leaving him with the general. "Oh, it�s you," Wufei sneered, crossing his arms over his chest, "There�s no point in interrogating me, you know. Just let me go and I�ll destroy the base, quick and painless."

"Really?" the general asked, raising an eyebrow, "And why not?"

"Because I can handle pain until it hurts."

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"Excuse me, sir?"

Duo stuck his head out of the window and slurred slightly, "Ye~es, Mister Police Officer Dude?"

"May I please see your I.D?"

"Why?"

The police officer�s left eye twitched. "Sir, please let me see your driver�s license."

"Ok~kie, here ya go!" There was a brief pause and then�

"Mr. Maxwell, do you know why I have pulled you over?"

"Nope," Duo stopped to wipe the drool off his chin, much to the officer�s disgust, and asked, "Why?"

"Mr. Maxwell, I have reason to believe that you have been drinking."

"I HAVE *NOT* BEEN DRINKING!!!" Duo screeched in indignation, "It�s because I�m a kid, isn�t it?!"

At this, the officer was taken aback. "No, sir-"

"Well, Bub, I�ve got news for you- I�m not as think as you stoned I am!"

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"G�morning, Hee-chan!"

"Hn, omae o korosu."

"Love you too."

Heero turned away from Duo to resume typing at his laptop. There was about ten minutes of nothing but the clacking of keys when Duo finally let out an exasperated shriek.

"DAMMIT YUY, GET A FREAKIN� CLUE, COMPUTERS WILL *NEVER* REPLACE HUMAN STUPIDITY!!!!!!!!"

"Hn."

"OH YEAH, YOU�RE THE ONE PERSON WHO COULDN�T GET A CLUE EVEN IF IT WAS DURING CLUE MATING IN A FIELD FULL OF HORNY CLUES AND YOU SMEARED YOUR BODY WITH CLUE MUSK AND DID THE CLUE MATING DANCE!!!"

"Hn." Duo was looking rather purple at that point.

"AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH, I GIVE UP!!!"

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"Father I think you should be nicer to me."

"And why is that, Quatre?"

"Because I�m the one who�s going to be choosing your nursing home."

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"Relena?"

"Yes, Duo?"

"I just have to tell you something."

"Really? What is it?"

"I don�t what makes you so stupid, but let me tell you, it really works!"

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There wasn�t much point to this, just me and some inside jokes of my friends� I didn�t make any of them up, they�re all from my friend, I just heard them at some point in time or another- in other words, they�re not mine. Later!~ LiLi