Love to eat turkey
Love to eat turkey
"HEERO!!! WHERE�S THE GODDAMN TURKEY?!" Duo yelled, as Trowa and Wufei set various vegetables and cans on the table.
"I�VE GOT IT, NOW HELP ME DAMMIT!!!"
Love to eat turkey
Cause it's good
Love to eat turkey
Like a good boy should
Duo goggled as Heero shoved a fully-grown wild turkey through the door. "YOU IDIOT!!! You were supposed to get a *frozen* turkey!"
Cobalt eyes glared coolly at him as their owner struggled to get a good grip on the fussing bird. "I�m not eating something that hasn�t been killed by *me*."
Cause it's turkey to eat
So good
"Oh forget it," Duo threw up his hands and called down the hallway, "Hey Tro, get the ax out. Spandex Boy here wants to make dinner himself."
"Really?" Trowa handed the American a hatchet and scratched his head. "In that case, we might as well get ready to starve tonight. Where did he manage to get a *live* turkey anyway?"
Turkey for me
Turkey for you
Let's eat the turkey
In my big brown shoe
"YUY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT THE TURKEY FROM THE ZOO?!" Onyx eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets and Wufei glared at Heero and the turkey.
The Japanese pilot snorted and narrowly missed getting cuffed on the head by a flailing wing. "It�s not like they�ll miss it."
"By Nataku�" The black haired boy groaned, "We�d better be ready to make a run for it when the police come after us."
Love to eat the turkey
At the table
I once saw a movie
With Betty Grable
"Heero, it would be easier to just buy a frozen turkey, you know." Quatre said as Heero more or less plastered the turkey to the tree stump and gripped the hatchet.
"I told you, I�m not eating something that I haven�t prepared myself."
Eat that turkey
All night long
Fifty million Elvis fans
Can't be wrong
Sweat poured down Heero�s face as he struggled to pin the turkey down. (No sodomy of any sort is included in this fic.) He raised the ax in one hand and brought it down in a deadly arc- and hit the stump. "KUSO!" He followed the runaway turkey into the safe house.
Using the hatchet, he broke the door down and rushed after the bird. His blue eyes glinted maniacally when they fell on the turkey, now nesting on a startled Duo�s head. "DIE, TURKEY, DIE!!!" He swung and missed the turkey, not to mention Duo�s braid by a sixteenth of an inch.
Fire flashed in the violet eyes and Duo started choking Heero, even as the turkey flew out the window.
Turkey turkey doo and
Turkey turkey dap
I eat that turkey
Then I take a nap
"YOU. TRIED. TO. CHOP. MY. BRAID!!! OMAE O KOROSU, HEERO!!!" Duo grabbed the hatchet and ran after Heero, who had run outside to catch their dinner.
The Perfect Soldier practically got down on all fours and ran straight up a steep hill, chasing a barely visible turkey. Duo was right on his heels, aiming to split the 80% gundanium spandex shorts and take revenge by sticking the ax handle up his- before the American tripped and fell over a rock.
Thanksgiving is a special night
Jimmy Walker used to say Dynomite!
That's right
As he fell, his braid flew up and got caught in the branches of a tree. The force pulled him off his feet and he swung through the air, getting tangled up in the branches. His whole upper body was stuck, but his lower half was dangling in midair. "This is just great." Duo muttered. "What else could possibly go wrong?"
All of a sudden, the ax slipped out of his hand and sliced his pants. The black pants fell down, revealing black boxer shorts with pink bunnies. "*That* could happen."
Turkey with gravy and cranberry
Can't believe they traded Darryl Strawberry.
Back at the safe house, Quatre looked at his lover and asked, "Should we get another turkey and make dinner ourselves? Something tells me they won�t find that turkey."
Trowa shrugged and Wufei said quickly, "Let�s not and say we did."
Turkey for you and
Turkey for me
Can't believe Tyson
Gave that girl V.D.
Meanwhile, deep in the dark forest, Heero was busy chasing the poor turkey as he waved his rifle over his head. "Damn turkey." He muttered, creeping up a tree and watching the bird, now resting tiredly on a rock. "I�ve got you," He whispered gleefully, pulling the trigger.
As the gun went off, his sneakers skidded on the bark, and he fell, just managing to hook his legs around the branch before plummeting to an untimely demise twenty feet below. Then again, judging from the jump he took out that hospital window so long ago, he would probably just break his neck. Ah, no matter, he�d just crack it back in place if it did.
Unfortunately to Heero�s complete and utter dismay, he hadn�t killed the damn bird, just stunned it. Flipping from the branch, he landed and inspected the turkey. "Kuso, I hit him *there*?!"
White meat, dark meat
You just can't lose
I fell off my moped
And I got a bruise
"Oh well, it�s not like they�ll *eat* the bullet." Slinging the turkey over his shoulder, Heero started back for the safe house, smoking rifle in hand.
As he went down the hill, he tripped over a familiar rock and smacked right into- "Pink bunny boxers?"
"Ne, Hee-koi, can you help me down?"
Turkey in the oven
And the buns in the toaster
I'll never take down
My Cheryl Tiegs poster
"I have to complete my mission." With that, Heero started off again, ignoring Duo�s infuriated screams.
Black pants still around his ankles, Duo�s legs waved around in the air as he screamed, "YUY, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE, OR YOU�RE NOT GETTING ANY TONIGHT!!!!!" The braided pilot suddenly noticed that dozens of pink bunnies were perched in the tree limbs, staring at him. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"
Wrap that turkey up
In aluminum foil
Heero likes to masturbate
With baby oil
*Omae o korosu*
After much wriggling and squirming, followed by a generous helping of colorful words, some in different languages, Duo managed to free himself from the branch. The long haired American pulled his pants up and stormed off to the safe house, followed by a long line of pink bunnies.
Turkey and sweet potato pie
Sammy Davis Jr.
Only had one eye
Quatre turned when he heard a knock. Heero was standing on the porch, turkey in one hand, rifle in the other. "Get another ax," Was all he said, before carrying the stunned turkey to the chopping block, er, stump outside.
Trowa handed the Japanese pilot the hatchet and then rushed his lover into the living room, claiming that what was about to take place wouldn�t be good for the little blond�s uchuu no kokoro. All of them knew it was a big fat lie, but Trowa was bigger, stronger, and currently had the Arabian tucked under his arm.
Turkey for the girls and
Turkey for the boys
My favorite kind of pants
Are corduroys
By then, the turkey was beginning to snap out of it, and was putting up quite a fuss as Heero slammed it onto the stump and swung the ax- and again, and again, and again, and again�
Ten minutes later, Wufei stuck his head out the window and snapped, "Yuy, did you kill the damn bird already?" Heero simply stared at the bloody stump and the barely recognizable bits of turkey littering the makeshift chopping block.
"You don�t mind if the turkey is bit-sized, do you?"
"Oh for the love of�"
Gobble gobble goo and
Gobble gobble gickel
I wish that turkey
Only cost a nickel
Both looking slightly rumpled, Trowa and Quatre went into the kitchen. Wufei set a pan on the counter and said, "Is the oven ready?"
Trowa raised a dark eyebrow and asked, "Is the *turkey* ready?"
The Chinese pilot glanced at the sorry remains of the turkey, then to the smirking Heero who was nearly a heartbeat away from saying that cursed, "Ninmu kanryou," of his. "Don�t even ask."
Oh I love turkey on Thanksgiving
The stove was painfully old fashioned. Heero knelt down and struck a lighter. The flame didn�t appear. "Stupid lighter, c�mon," He growled, striking at it again.
The door slammed open, and Duo stalked in, holding his pants up with both hands. For some strange reason that Wufei did *not* want to hear about, there was long line of at least fifty pink bunnies hopping after the chestnut braided pilot.
You are so dead, Yuy," Duo muttered, stomping closer to the dark haired boy and the stove. All of a sudden, Pink Bunny #3 slammed into Pink Bunny #2, who fell into Pink Bunny #1, who got entangled in Duo�s legs and made the boy lose his balance.
Just before the Pink Bunny/Duo Domino took place, Heero�s lighter finally decided to work and he lit the gas stove- right in Duo�s face.
BOOOOOOOOM!!!!! The house shook and fifty not-so-pink bunnies flew through the air.
A very charred Duo, now black to match his clothes, blinked before falling onto the floor with a loud �plop.� A cinder block, looking suspiciously like a mutilated turkey, or the like, fell from the oven door and hit his head. "Oww�"
There was a collective sigh from the other four pilots. "So much for Thanksgiving."
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!!!!!
*******************************************************************************
Hee hee, I went a little crazy for this little fic. The song, "The Thanksgiving Song," is by Adam Sandler, one of the funniest men alive. Standard disclaimers apply and feedback would be appreciated.
P.S. If you didn�t notice that I changed a certain lyric, go back to Duo and the pink bunnies and you�ll see. /\ /\
^_^;;