Wufei gulped down the rest of his water and set his sword neatly on a shelf. That�s when he realized he had to go- bad. It was one of those times when it wasn�t *that* big of an emergency but just enough to make you want to- eh, you get the idea.
He rushed over to his bathroom and jiggled the knob, only to find that someone was in there. "Open up!"
"Omae o korosu." Came the nasal reply.
"Yuy, I have to go, and why aren�t you using the one in your room?"
"Callisto�s doesn�t work, so she�s using ours."
"What is the onna doing in the bathroom anyway?"
"She couldn�t work with so much noise."
"Then what are *you* doing?" The Japanese boy ignored him and went back to his glaring contest with his reflection. Shortly after Wufei gave up and left, the sound of cracking glass could be heard.
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The Chinese pilot headed to Heero and Duo�s bathroom and pounded on the door. "Open up, Angelus!"
"I can�t." Callisto called as she regarded the great white shark swimming back and forth in the too-small bathtub.
"And why not, onna?"
"I have Ripper in here."
"Don�t lie!" The pilot shouted as he swung the door open. Shenlong�s pilot was greeted by seven rows of razor sharp teeth. He quickly shut the door and called out, "What about Barton and Winner�s?"
"I�ve got Kuna in there."
"Kuna is a killer whale and Ripper is a Great White, onna! What the hell are you thinking?"
"The tub�s bigger in there, that�s why."
"Damn you! I�ll just use another one!"
As she listened to her comrade stomp off, Callisto rolled her eyes and muttered, "Good luck."
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Since all the other bathrooms were occupied, he had to go to the one a~ll the way down the hallway, approximately half of a mile. Now that�s a big safe house- not that some of the teammates were complaining.
Big house with only five bedrooms meant big bedrooms and big bedrooms usually meant big beds. Certain pilots put two and two together and came up with 69.
The Chinese boy tried to forget about that as he waddled to the bathroom door. The *closed* bathroom door. Desperately holding himself with one hand, Wufei knocked on the door, or to have his beloved cousin answer, "Someone�s already in here!"
"Damn you, onna! I have to go!" Wufei grated out, practically grinding his teeth down to dust.
"But I�m taking a shower!" Violet called, ready to whine like Relena, if she had to resort to such a drastic tactic.
"Fine! I�ll just use the one on your jet!"
"But-"
"Too late, onna!" Shrugging, Violet turned her attention back to her shower.
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In less than ten minutes did Wufei�s urge to go increase, and it did no good that Violet�s jet was two miles away. But at last, he made it, hopping from one foot to the other like some demented kangaroo. Wufei scurried into the jet over to the tiny stall in the corner, behind the gundam-sized dust bunnies and discarded manga.
He started to open the door when Trowa�s voice drifted over. "I�m already in here."
"Get out, Barton!"
"We- uh, I can�t." Inside the stall, Trowa glared at the door in annoyance as one hand busily groped under Quatre�s shirt. The other hand, which had been previously undoing the blond�s belt, was now inching toward the gun in his jeans.
"Barton!" Wufei stomped his foot and squeezed his legs together. Of course, he was completely ignored. There was a strange noise from inside the stall and a squeal slipped out. "You�re not making out in there again, are you?" The Chinese boy was promptly answered with an indignant snort.
"What do you mean, �again�?! That was Duo and Heero, remember?"
"I�d prefer not to." Another squeal.
"I�m not kidding, you two. I really have to go!"
"Use the bushes."
Wufei�s face started to turn purple as he shrieked, "THE BUSHES?!?!"
On the other side of the stall door, Trowa rolled his eyes and said rather exasperatedly, "Yes, the bushes."
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA JUST HOW UNDIGNIFIED AND- AND UNCIVILIZED THAT IS?!?!"
"Well, I wouldn�t know because I�ve never had to go that badly before." Trowa replied, even as his hand slipped down Quatre�s pants.
"Forget it!" The Chinese youth turned on his heel and stomped out Violet�s jet, just as a shriek erupted from the tiny stall.
"Fine then, I�ll just use the goddamn bushes!" Wufei huffed as he got out of the jet and hopped over to the nearest available bush, about a twenty feet. Dear readers, please keep in mind that he was *hopping*, and on one leg, mind you.
One hand brushed aside the leaves, to reveal Duo already there, toilet paper in one hand and a manga in the other. The American blinked up at Wufei�s bright purple face. "Oh, you too?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" The pilot turned and ran through the woods, screaming bloody murder.
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For fear that he would find yet another person in the bushes, Wufei somehow managed to hold himself off until he found his way back the safe house. It didn�t help that he had to use a river to find his way back.
After climbing two flights of stairs, he crawled over to his bathroom, which to his dismay, was still locked. "YUY!!!" The shattering of the toilet and sloshing water answered him. Inside, Heero smirked like an idiot when he triumphed in his glaring contest with the toilet.
At that time, Violet�s voice rang through the hall. "Wu-chan, I�m done using the bathroom!" Using the carpet, Wufei dragged himself to the bathroom half a mile away.
"Yes, yes!!! Finally!!!" He yammered as he pushed past Violet and rushed in. The door slammed shut in a cloud of dust and then�
"ONNA!!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT DOWN?!?!?"
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Hey readers! LiLi here! I�ve had wa~ay too much writing this fic and I desperately need your support!
*Heard from the bathroom* "ONNA!!!!!" ^^;;;