Quatre liked sitting on the roof it was calming. The air was so crisp and refreshing. The quiet very so peaceful. It was the first time he felt at peace in a long time.

***************

Inside the house the others were frantically searching for Quatre. They way he was now they were afraid he might hurt himself. That feeling was left unspoken. The trio decided to split up and search the place.

*****************

Wufei approached the house and immediately saw Quatre watching the sky. Wufei climbed up the side of the house and sat next to him not saying a word. "isn't the sky beautiful?"

"Breathtaking." answered Wufei. He saw the others approaching but he gestured them away with his hand. Heero dragged the other two away.

"Do I have to get down now?"

"No lets stay here for a while." Wufei smiled and they just sat in silence for what seemed like hours but was mere minutes.

"they probly thought I was going to jump."

"They worry to much."

"I just needed some quiet time."

"You mean you needed to escape loudmouth Maxwell." Quatre laughed and Wufei joined him. Trowa could here the laughter from his room. It warms my heart to here you laugh angel. I hope it's the first of many.

Quatre paced back in fourth in his room. It was four am and he just couldn't face the nightmares again. They just wouldn't stop. The images haunted him flashes in his mind. He didn't even have to be a sleep when the flashbacks came. My father was right I am weak.

Quatre looked at the scar on his wrist and cursed himself for being such a coward.

*********Flashback*****

I can't do this anymore. Trowa's not coming he's moved on without me. He once said he couldn't go on without me but yet he has. He has moved on without a second thought. Nice knowing Quatre. So much for never leaving me.

I can't be sure if what they've told me about Trowa is true or not. It really doesn't matter because I'm still here. I just want the pain to stop. The only thing getting me through this is my keychain. It's become my only hope. I must hang on to hope. My beautiful Trowa gave it to me with such love.

Trowa's not coming. I was so sure he would. I won't let them break me no matter what. If I renounce my feelings now I might become someone I don't want to be. A shell of my former self.

Trowa's not coming. I keep thinking this trying not to believe it. Today I'm suppose to get electro shock therapy. I didn't think people still did that. I thought it was out dated. Here they come to take me there.

They strap Quatre down and turn on the juice. Quatre had never felt such pain. He tried not to scream. I can't show pain. Don't scream don't scream. The pain was just so unbearable he couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Hey rich boy. I knew I could make you scream. Hahahahahahahaha."

"you're a coward."

"What did you say?"

He turned it up so high , "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Quatre's heart stopped. He was revived and sent back to his room. The man was suspened from work for three days.

Maybe after what happened they'll leave me alone for a while. Quatre sat in a corner and laid his head on his knees. A single tear dropping from his fave. He held his keychain close to his heart. Wherever you are Trowa I hope your safe and happy.

I will know longer do this. I've been here for four years. No more. NO MORE. Quatre broke a glass. He picked up a piece and began to cut into his skin. The blood began to pour out. Quatre laid on the ground watching the blood drain from his wrist. He had no strength to cut the other wrist. "Now I can be free." His eyes became heavy and he passed out.

Quatre woke up in the infirmary still alive. He had no more hope left. His fathers voice replayed in his mind. "I'm so disappointed in you. Weak. You can't possibly be a Winner. The sight of you makes me sick."

"Nobody's forcing you to be here."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing father."

Quatre was just so tired of everything.

*****End Flashback*****

Quatre shook himself free of the memory. He began to get the shakes again.

Trowa was torn from his sleep by knocking at his door. He opened it to see a terrified Quatre. He was shaking and so pale. "Quatre are you all right?"

"I just wanted ..I just.I . nevermind." he turned and went back to his room.

Trowa followed him . He entered Quatre's room and saw him sitting on the floor. Hugging himself. Trowa sat in front of him and watched him. Then Quatre looked up and saw Trowa. His eyes were still so beautiful. Quatre reached out to touch him but was afraid he would disappear so he withdrew.

Trowa reached out for his hand and placed it on his cheek. Trowa took his other hand but then saw the scar. My poor angel. He hurt himself. Those bastards drove you to it. I'm sorry . He kissed the scar. Quatre hugged Trowa and began to shake violently. "Shshs. Calm down little one. We'll fix this. I'm not going anywhere. we'll get through this together."

Trowa picked him up and carried him to the bed. Quatre didn't say a word he just looked intently at Trowa. He covered Quatre up and as he was turning Quatre grabbed his arm. "I'm not going anywhere angel." He climbed into bed with him and held him close.

The next morning Trowa Wufei and Duo were talking about how to help him.

"He was so scared." said Trowa.

"He just needs time." Wufei stated.

"It's been a month. I don't know how much more of this I can put up with. He should just over it. I'm sick of this."

said a frustrated Duo.

*********

Outside the room Quatre had been listening when Heero spotted him. Quatre walked away and Heero followed. Dammit Duo sometimes you can be so careless.

*********

"You're sick of this. You are a hypocrite Maxwell. He was in that place for five years we don't know what they did to him. You're suppose to be his best friend." said a frustrated Wufei.

"You're right I'm sorry. I just don't know how to help him."

"We'll find a way. we have to."

*******

Quatre sat on his bed when Heero entered. He looked at him and said. "I'm sorry Heero I'll try to do better."

"Quatre your ignoring your feelings. You have to face them."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Why did you bring Trowa here? He shouldn't see me like this."

Trowa was the one easdropping this time. What?

"He loves you." Quatre looked at him when he said that.

"Why?"

"He loves you. That used to be enough for you."

"He can't possibly still love me."

"Don't make me say it again. Trowa loves you."

"He's right I do." said Trowa. Heero took his cue and left leaving them alone. "I think it's time we talked Little one. It's long over due."