<The boys are now sitting at desks all in a row at the front of the class; their feet are bound to the floor so they can�t escape>

Ezri: To start off, let�s talk about how harmful anger can be if not handled properly. I think you all have some examples you can give me�

<Silence>

Ezri: ahem! Since when are you all this silent?!

Quatre: Actually, I don�t think I need to be here.

Duo: Hey, yeah! When has he ever been angry?

<Heero and Trowa�s eyes widen>

Duo: (realizing that Ezri is starring at him as if he has three heads) What?

Ezri: Quatre�darling, do the words �zero system� mean anything to you?

Heero: (trying to stop her) NO! Don�t say it!

<Too late, Quatre suddenly bows his head and looks extremely scary. He starts laughing softly, growing more and more maniacal by the second. He sounds like�an insane weasel�>

Heero: Now look what you did!

Ezri: I-I, uh� (Scrambles and hides behind the closet door)

7.11 minute commercial break

Wufei: You can stop hiding now, onna.

<Quatre has returned to his sweet self�and Trowa is looking strangely�satisfied>

Ezri: (blushes and meekly crawls back to her place) Ne, I rest my case.

Duo: Nani? What was that all about, anyway?

<Note: Duo doesn�t know, remember, peeps? He and Wufei weren�t there during Quatre�s little�episode>

Ezri: Well, now that we�ve finished our discussion, (-.-;) let�s move on to basic A.M techniques, first: counting.

G-boys: �Counting?

Ezri: Right! Y�know how people always say count to ten when you�re angry? Well, it�s true, it does help, so let�s practice, ne? (Presses play on a large, ancient tape recorder)

Really Monotonous Voice: ichi, ni, san, shi, go, roku�

Duo: Huh? Chotto! That�s Japanese, no fair! This is an English fic!

Ezri: (whips a pink plastic squeaky mallet out of hammerspace and hits him over the head with it) Hey! I just learned to count in Japanese and I want to show it off, ok? Now, count!

Wufei: (counting to himself in the background, smiling serenely) kyuu, juu, ichi, ni, san, shi�

E,H,D,T,Q: (O.O)

Quatre: She�s�she�s gotten to Wufei�

Wufei: (realizes everyone is starring at him) Nani? I happen to like chanting! It�s relaxing, OK?!! INJUSTICE!!!

E,H,D,T,Q: (breathe sighs of relief)

Ezri: See? It is therapeutic; it even calmed Wufei down� for a second. Now, chant with me people! Ichi, ni, san, shi, go-

Heero: �Ich�

Ezri: Excuse me?

Heero: It�s pronounced �ich�, the �I� is silent.

Quatre: But can�t girls say it �ichi�?

Duo: Wait, I thought four was �yon�.

Heero: Only sometimes, and seven is nana.

Trowa: -and shichi.

Heero: Hn.

Wufei: You forgot zero, onna.

Ezri:�Shut up all of you! Before I write a fic with you all as Relena�s male harem!!!

G-boys: (O.O)

<It�s suddenly very, very silent, except for the recording in the background>

Really Monotonous Voice: San, shi, go, roku�

Ezri: Rrrr! Die, you freakin� bitch, DIE!!!

<Stomps up and down on the recorder till it shatters, and electrocutes her. >

8 minute commercial break

Ezri: (twitching at regular intervals) ichi, ni, san, shi�stupid technology�go, roku, shichi� curse you, Bill Gates�hachi, kyuu�

Quatre: (^_^) that�s good, Ezri-sama, keep counting!

3 minute commercial break

<Ezri, looking�slightly more sane�resumes class>

Ezri: OK, moving on, let�s talk about regression! That�s when you revert mentally to a lower level of maturity in order to compensate for stress. <For some reason, everyone looks over at Duo> Most of the time this means hitting or kicking but it can also take more positive forms, and that�s what we�re gonna practice. <Passes out paper and crayons to each boy> I learned during my final exams last year that coloring is actually a very effective stress releasing mechanism so I want you each to draw a picture, OK? It can be of anything you want.

Duo: (looking a little green) Uh, Ezri-sama, I think I�ve gotta go, I don�t feel too good.

Wufei: What�s the matter, Maxwell? Eating paste in class again? (Snickers)

Duo: Actually, I think it was the tape.

Ezri: The tape!? Duo! You ate the tape!?

Quatre: So that�s how he got it off�

Ezri: Duo! Is there anything you won�t eat??

Heero: (monotone) Wufei�s cooking.

Ezri: Here. <Throws some Pepto Bismal tablets to him> There�s a reason why my teachers always keep huge stocks of this stuff in their desks.

Wufei: You?

Ezri: (withering look) No! It�s only the chauvinistic pigs in my class who are jerks!

<Ezri and Wufei get in a glaring match, which quickly turns into a starring match>

Duo: Hey, Hee-chan, whatcha drawin�?

Heero: (evil smirk) I�m not �drawing�, I�m making a detailed mission outline for tonight.

Duo: Why? What are we gonna do tonight?

Heero: Same thing we do every night, Duo.

Quatre: So what about you Duo, what are you drawing?

Duo: Huh? Oh�just an image of Heero I had in my head.

Ezri: (pops out of nowhere) NO hentai pics!

Duo: What, he�s covered!

Quatre: Yeah, with Chocolate syrup and maraschino cherries.

Ezri: (facefault)

Duo: ^_^ V

Ezri: (Ø _Ø ) Ne, Trowa, you�ve certainly been quiet today�and everyday come to think of it. What�s up?

Trowa: � (continues to draw)

Ezri: (glances around and leans closer to Trowa) Ne, admit it, you like watching these guys suffer!

Trowa: ///( �

Ezri: (evil smirk)

Quatre: Oi! What are you two doing?

Ezri: (whispers to Trowa) Since you�re the only one I actually fear out of this group, keep it up and I�ll fix up a sappy fic for you and Q-chan after this.

Trowa: (mysterious smile)

Ezri: (devious grin)

Quatre: (looks puzzled)

Ezri: Jaa, minna, I�ll take the drawings and display them on the board, OK? Hand �em over! <Collects drawings, purposefully avoids looking at Duo�s>

Heero: (leaning towards the others conspiratorially) If we want to get out we�ve got to go now, while she�s distracted.

Quatre: How? We�re bound to the floor.

Duo: <grins, holds up a vial of metal acid> She didn�t get all of Hee-chan�s weapons! <Frees himself and the others using the acid>

Quatre: She�s quick, though, we�ll have to get out without her noticing.

Trowa: A distraction.

Duo: A diversion.

Heero: (thinks) A sacrifice.

H,D,T,Q: (turn to Wufei)

Wufei: (-_-;;) Why is it always me?

Duo: Just distract her, give her a lecture on justice or something.

D,Q,T,H: (all lean towards each other)

Quatre: (whispering) So the plan is: we sacrifice Wufei.

T,H,D: (nod)

Heero: Besides, he�s the only one of us with an anger problem.

T,Q,D: (-_-;)

Ezri: (putting up pictures, notices that Wufei drew a scale model schematic of Nataku) <sweatdrop> (thinks) Anger management isn�t the only therapy that boy needs�

<Wufei comes up behind Ezri, clears his throat and freezes, for the first time the master of sarcastic remarks and hot air can�t think of anything to say>

Wufei: (panics)

Duo: (whispers urgently) Just tell her a joke or something.

D,H,T,Q: (crawl towards the door)

Wufei: Ahem.

Ezri: Hmm? Nani desu ka?

Wufei: Umm�Why�why is Gundam Wing the favorite anime of the Supreme Court Justices?

Ezri: (blink::blink) �I don�t know. Why?

Wufei: Because it�s theme is just communication! Hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahhhhahaahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Ezri: (O.o;;;)

<Sound of a door slamming>

Duo: We�re FREE! FREE AT LAST!!!!

Quatre: (slaps hand over his mouth) Duo! Quiet!!

Ezri: (from inside) KISAMAAA!!! SHOUNEN!

Mysterious Voice #1: Well, look who we�ve found.

Not-So-Mysterious Voice #1: HEEEERRRRRRROOOOOOOOO!

Heero: Oh, (censored)

Altoydz: (A.K.A Ezri�s fighting muse) Um, yeah. We kinda have a problem, you see; Ezri was supposed to be here to give her after-fic-speech but she�never showed up (-_-;)

So� I guess you all can go, until we find out what happened to her at least. So I�m off to find Wu-chan, I�m sure he needs some comforting after all of this (evil grin).