Notice-I don’t own Gundam Wing, or ANY anime for that manner. I bet if you wanted to you could sue me, etc, etc… but I really only have pocket change at the moment, and you’re nice guys and all so you wouldn’t do that, would you?

Anyhew, on with the story. This is my very first GW fanfic, and hopefully the first fanfic I actually finish. *sweatdrop* so I hope you like it!

(Setting: Quatre’s pad. The G-Boys need some money, so who do they turn to? Their Nice, lovable, innocent, and really REALLY rich friend, Quatre.)

Duo: come on, Quatre, hurry up!

Quatre(typing on computer): Just wait Duo, this is only gonna take a second.

Trowa:…

Duo: Okay. Hey wait, it’s been a second already!

Wufei: Please just SHUT UP, Maxwell. If I was Quatre, you wouldn’t be getting any money anyway.

Duo: Well, SORRY!

Quatre (in shock): Oh No!

(Everyone turns to Quatre)

Trowa:…

Quatre: Nothing’s really wrong, Trowa, it just seems we have no money.

Trowa(sadly):…

Duo: WHAT!!! YOU OWN LIKE 50 ESTATE’S!!! you have to have a couple billion lying around somewhere!!

Quatre: I do, but they’re in a trust fund.

Duo: trust fund?

Quatre: yep.

Duo: uh, what’s that?

Quatre: basically, I can’t get any money until I’m 40.

Heero (with major death glare action): Quatre, you promised us all some money

Duo: yeah, and it’s not supposed to take 25 years.

Quatre: we’ll just have to find something else.

(enter Rashid, with the mail)

Rashid: Quatre-sama, you’re mail.

Quatre: thanks, Rashid!

(Trowa eyes Rashid jealously)

Rashid(nervous) I think I’ll leave now.(uh, duh, leaves)

Quatre:*Sweatdrop* did you have to do that Trowa.

Trowa(defensively)…!!!

(Duo holds up a letter)

Duo:Hey Guys, I think I found something

(Heero snatches the letter away from Duo)

Heero:Talent show? I don’t think so.

Quatre: That’s a great idea, right Trowa?

Trowa(enthusiastically):…

Duo: Yeah come on Heero! I’ll hide you’re favorite shotgun if you don’t say yes

Heero(surprised)Duo!

Duo: I swear I will!

Heero(deafeted):Alright.

Wufei: I won’t do it.

Duo: what about all the women.

Wufei: What! They actually allow women to particapate. I must put them in their place. For my sense of integrity!

Duo: Great, So we’re all in!! I’ll see you later Quatre. Gotta practice for tonight!

Heero: yeah…

Wufei: I must do it. For Justice!!!

Duo:???

Heero:???

Quatre: what are you talking about.

Wufei: Huh, oh nothing, I must leave now(so, he does)

(Heero and Duo leave as well)

Quatre: what about you Trowa

Trowa:…

Quatre: Are you serious?

Trowa:….yes…….

Quatre: Oh, Trowa, I’m so happy! But if we’re going to play a duet, we need to practice

Trowa:…

Quatre: All right, then, it’s settled, I’ll go get the flute!

(fades out of scene)

(Two days later, the talent show starts. Well, it’s about to anyway. What are the G-Boys talking about? Well, let’s just take a little listen shall we? We’ll start with Duo!)

Duo: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!!!!!!!!!!

(*sweatdrop* OK, that was, interesting. Let’s try Heero)

Heero: I can’t believe Duo talked me into this! I’ve gotta get that stupid shotgun out of his reach!

(knock on door, followed by ominous music, thunder crashing, screams, etc…)

Heero(to himself) Oh no.

Heero:(to, who else, Relena) What do you want.

Relena: Heero! I thought it was you!

Heero: Relena, what are you doing here.

Relena: Silly, I entered the contest to of course.

Heero: (to himself) Oh no.

Relena: Hey, Heero.

Heero: What.

Relena: could you open the door, please.

Heero: No.

(The plot thickens, I wonder what Quatre and Trowa are doing, don’t you?)

Quatre: AHHHH!!!

Trowa:…

Quatre: You mean you didn’t feel that!

Trowa:…

Quatre: Relena’s HERE!!!

Trowa://_O…

(Enter all of Quatre’s sisters)

Quatre: I already told you, I’m not going to do it!

(Sisters give him The Look. They start approaching)

Quatre:NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

(Sisters bowl him over, giggling)

(What’s going on? You’ll find out soon enough. First, however, lets check up on wufei.)

Wufei: I must do it. It is the justful thing to do. The other pilots may laugh, but I must. Those women must be put in their place. As much as I hate doing talent shows and such, not to mention the fact that I will probably lose. However, I must stop those women from prevailing.

(Wufei puts on his super cool spy cloak)

Wufei: Time to launch operation Bake Me A Pie.

(Wufei leaves laughing maniacally)

(Ah, so the stage is finally set. It looks like it is going to be an awesome performance, right? Please? Well, whatever. So Relena (UGH!) is up first. Lets see what happens.)

Announcer Guy (Shoot, need another person. How about Zechs. It works, right?)

Zechs: Hello and welcome to the 22 annual talent show. Boy we have a big turnout today! Everyone wants to see who will win the $3,000,000 Grand Prize. We have a great show tonight! But first, we need to see Relena’s act, lets try to fake excited cla;pping best we can, OK. Relena, everyone!

(Relena comes out. A couple people clap)

Relena: Today I am going to read a love poem that I wrote myself. It’s entitled: HEEERRROOOOO!!

(Relena takes a deep breath)

Relena: Oh great warrior,

Who is so silent and cold,

Please kill me soon,

I love you,

I really do,

(Audience is a bit bored)

Relena: I really, Really, do

I really, Really, REALLY, do

(Audience is dozing off)

Relena: I know you love me,

I love you

(Audience falls asleep)

Relena: I love you a-

(gets hit by a pie in midsentence. Audience awakens and cheers.)

Wufei (On loudspeaker): Hah!! Stupid woman!! You should know your place!! Goodbye!!

(Opens a trapdoor, Relena falls into the hole.)

Zechs: O-kay. well, anyway, we have a great show for you tonight!!

Zechs: And now, for a definite change to our upbeat acts, here is a person who I know very well. His name, er, codename, is HEERO YUY!!

(Audience clapps)

(Heero comes out holding a remote control.)

Zechs: So, Heero, why don’t you tell us what you are going to do.

(Zechs signals S.W.A.T. team into position)

Heero: Well, it’s nothing really. I am going to prove today that I am industructable. I have rigged this arena to explode. I will now press the button and blow it up. When the explosion is over, I will still be alive.

(Heero moves to press the button but meets 5 S.W.A.T. guys stopping him. He beats them up, easily.)

Zechs: Heero Yuy, you are DISQUALIFIED!!

Heero(looks sad): Omae O koruso!

Zechs: We’ve all heard that before, just get off the stage!

(Heero leaves, but not without an award winning death stare .)

Zechs: and now, for a couple of guys who just couldn’t—Wait, I just now heard that there has been a change of plans. Give a round of applause for our first duet of the evening, Quatrina and Trowa!!!

(enter Quatre, in a pink frilly dress, playing the violin. All the guys are spellbound. After a few bars, enter Trowa, playing the flute. Girls are jealous of Quatre.)

Wufei: Oh No, Woman, you are not making it.

Quatre: Wait, Wufei, it’s me!

Wufei(shocked): Winner?

(Everyone realizes it’s Quatre and starts laughing.)

Trowa:…

Quatre: Yeah, lets get out of here.

TrowaJ ……..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH………………

Quatre: Come on Trowa! It wasn’t THAT funny.

Trowa:…

Quatre: Alright, Trowa, you’re forgiven. Let’s just go.

(Quatre and Trowa leave)

Zechs(teary eyed):hehehehe, OH, sorry about that. Well,let’s just move on. Hehehehehehe.

Zechs: And next, we have a man whose vocal cords can take any kind of punishment. We have the one, the only, Wufei!!!!

(Wufei walks in. Guys clap, girls boo.)

Wufei: Today I will speak to you about a subject most dear to me. That subject is: women’s role in the world!!

(Wufei takes a deep breath)

Wufei(ranting): WOMEN’S PLACE IS THE KITCHEN!!! THEY SHOULDN’T BE IN STUPID TALENT SHOWS, OR FIGHTING WARS! THE KITCHEN! GOT THAT, LADIES?! NOWHERE ELSE! ACTUALLY, IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE THE KITCHEN, I HAVE SOME SMELLY SOCKS THAT NEED WASHIN’!! GOT THAT!! WASH MY SOCKS OR BAKE A PIE!! THAT IS YOUR ROLE IN THE WORLD!! NOTHING ELSE!! IF YOU WANT TO DISAGREE, FEEL FINE!! BUT I ONLY TALK TO WOMEN WHO BAKE GOOD PIES!! SO I GUESS YOU COULD JUST BAKE ME A PIE!! HAHAHAHAHA!! YOU WOMEN!! YOU ARE SUCH WEAKLINGS!! THAT’S RIGHT, WEAKLINGS!! YOU’RE WEAK!! HAHAHAHAHA!! WEAK!! WEAK!! WEAK!! WEAK!! WEAK!! Thank you all very much.

(Wufei bows and leaves.)

Zechs:*sweatdrop* Well, that was……………..

(audience waits)

(waits even longer)

Zechs: and the last performer tonight is………….

(looks at cuecard and groans)

Zechs(solemly): Duo Maxwell.

(Duo walks in, or bounces in. Whatever. Everyone is really nervous.)

Duo: Howdy!!!

Zechs: So what are you going to do?

Duo: Well, that’s easy enough to say.

Zechs: Okay, well say it.

Duo:Ok. I’m going to read a story.

Zechs: What story?

Duo: It’s entitled: Me and Heero, In the Jungle.

(sorry, guys. I have some morals you know.)

(Duo finishes, disgusting everyone in the room.)

Zechs: Thanks for being so……….Explicit.

Duo: Thanks!!

Zechs: Please leave

Duo: Sure

Zechs: Now!

Duo: OK!

Zechs: Just GO!!

Duo: ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

(Awww, the shows over. Oh well, now we get to see who wins anyway! I’ll give you a hint: It’s not Relena.)

Zechs: and now for the award. Will all contestants please come to the stage!

(All of a hundred or so people go to the stage. Really, it wasn’t just the G-Boys, but I thought you knew that.)

Zechs: And The Winner is:

(Audience gasps)

Zechs: None other than Quatrina and Trowa!!! Why don’t you step up.

(Quatre and Trowa step up and a cute chick gives them an award)(Noin, duh!)

Quatre: I’m so happy.

Trowa:…

Quatre: I’m glad you’re happy.

Zechs: As we all know, since Quatre is underage, all the money will be invested into a trust fund.

Trowa: //_O….

Quatre: Oh, well

Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heero: Omae O Koruso, Quatre

Wufei: No Way! I get him first.

Quatre: come on guys, We’ll get it eventually.

Duo: Alright! Let’s do this again!!!!!!

~FIN~