Disclaimer~~i don't own Gundam Wing*sob* or Blink 182's songs*sigh*.. o well- sorry if this fic is a little morbid^^; I was depressed about... um.. Spmething.. Happy Reading!!
I never thought, I'd die alone,
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I traced the cord back to the wall,
No wonder it was never plugged in at all.
Trowa looked blankly at the wall. Did he really want to do it?
I took my time, I hurried up,
the choice was mine I didn't think enough
He thought back to when Quatre was still alive. A light sob escaped him.
I'm too depressed, to go on,
You'll be sorry when I'm gone..
The blond pilot's death had destroyed Trowa's life. One minute, he was alive, and the next, Quatre's young life had ended.
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days,
It had been all over the news. Something in the exaust had malfunctioned, sending the shuttle into the near by colony, which it was going to land on. It had killed Trowa to go to the funeral-even with the support of the other gundam pilots there.
Days when I could still feel alive
Now look at me, Trowa laughed at himself, the feelingless soldier had tears in his eyes. He wiped away fresh tears, glancing next to him. On the crate sat an object gleaming in the morning sun. Wonder what Quatre would say if he were here, Trowa thought, probably 'Don't do it Trowa!- people need you!'. Hmph, Trowa thought, I have no life to live, people don't need me. My reason for living life was taken away from me a long time ago.
We couldn't wait to get outside,
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, I'd survived
I couldn't wait, till I got home,
To pass the time in my room alone.
Trowa thought back to when he was a kid, new to the army. He was stationed with men who didn't know the meaning of feelings. Trowa tried to push the memories out of his head,not wanting to remember. Those bastards had ripped Trowa's innosence from him, painfully and brutally. Trowa felt that his soul and reason for living had been torn from him.
Trowa now had no one. Cathrine was on vacation, and the other Gundam pilots had been imprisoned for being "menaces to society"( well at least in heero's case- the others were imprisoned for multiple murders- )Trowa wasn't because he had 'not chosen to fight on his own behalf'- what ever that meant, and Quatre was needed to run the Winner Franchise. But, now Quatre was gone...
I never thought, I'd die alone,
Another six monthes I'll be unknown,
Give all my things, to all my friends,
You'll never set foot in my room again.
Trowa picked up the gun, gently turning it over in his hands, fingers brushing the trigger, the handle, the barrel. He put it back on the crate, not wanting to remember how many lives he had ruined with a gun like this one. But at those times, he was happy- he had Quatre with him. He wanted to remember the time he had spent with Quatre, but at the same time he didn't.
You'll close it off, board it up,
Trowa remembered when he first had met all of the other pilots. Trowa sighed, remembering his friends, and all their missions together- both the good and the bad.
Remember the time that I spilled the cup,
Of apple juice in the hall,
Please tell mom this is not her fault.
Somehow, the gun had moved into Trowa's hand. He must have picked it up while he thought. As he moved it to his temple, he could feel his heart racing as fast as his mind was moving- it kept repeating shin chuu shin chuu shin chuu shin chuu. It was scarier feeling this adrenaline than feeling the cold, justifying barrel of the gun against his head.
I never conquered, rarely came,
But tomorrow holds such better days
Days when i can still felt alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide
Trowa's finger danced with the trigger, trying to gather the courage for one final dance.
The time goes by,
The tour was over, I've survived
Quatre, Trowa thought, soon we'll be together.Soon, my love.
I can't wait
A single tear left the tall boy's green eye. He knew Quatre wouldn't want it to end this way.
'Till I get home
"I'm sorry,Quatre"Trowa said aloud.
To pass the time in my room alone.
OWARI