IT WAS JUST NOT FAIR!!! Why did this happen to him every month if he wasn’t even a girl?! And since he was on that subject, why did he have so many sisters anyway?! This was all his father’s fault, damn him and his testosterone, and his sisters too, they were also to blame! Quatre Raberba Winner glared angrily at his reflection before stomping out of his bathroom.

"You’re too stressed, love." Came a sleepy murmur from the lump of blankets on his bed.

Quatre bristled and yelled, "*YOU*, Trowa Barton, are not one to be saying that *I* am stressed!!!"

Raising one eyebrow, the tall boy got out and guided his small lover to the bed. "Sorry love," He whispered, kissing Quatre’s neck, "I was wrong." It killed his pride to say that, but if he didn’t swallow it and apologize, he wouldn’t get any for not one, not two, but three whole days- a fate worse than death. "Come now," He began rubbing the tense muscles in his shoulders. "Just relax."

Trowa carefully lowered Quatre to the bed, still massaging the tight muscles. He then draped himself over the blond, his hands leaving the shoulders to sneak up the boy’s shirt. "Mmm…" Quatre mumbled drowsily, "Feels better…"

The brown haired boy smiled as he happily kissed the soft lips over and over again. His hands drifted over the flat stomach and up to his- WHAT THE HELL?! His one visible eye popped open and he felt a little more carefully, his fingers cautiously probing the soft mound that had appeared overnight.

"Trowa?" Quatre looked up worriedly. "What’s wrong?"

The European boy quickly unbuttoned his nightshirt and stared in disbelief at what was supposed to be a *male* chest. The objective word being male. "WELL YOU CERTAINLY DIDN’T HAVE *THESE* LAST NIGHT!!!"

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"Quatre, I said I was sorry!" Trowa repeated for the umpteenth time that night.

"He-he s-said-" Said pilot was sobbing into Duo’s shoulder almost to the point of hysteria, "t-that I’m supposed to be flat!!!"

"Look," Heero cut in impatiently, "it’s almost midnight. Let’s figure out why the hell Quatre’s a girl and go to bed!"

Duo gave him an acid look and then patted Quatre- er, Quatrina’s hair. "There, there, it’s okay. He didn’t mean it, DID YOU TROWA?" One could’ve almost heard the crickets chirp as the brown haired pilot shook his head. The American boy beamed at the blonde girl and said, "See? He was just kidding."

Now that the Arabian pilot had calmed down, Wufei wasted no time asking, "Quatre, do you know why this happened?"

"Sure I do," The girl replied, wiping her eyes, "After all, it’s been going on since I was eleven." Again the serenade of the crickets could be heard as four sets of mouths dropped to the floor with a sound clatter- okay, maybe not.

"Eleven?! Quatre, I- how could you-" Duo, of course, was the first to find his voice though he had failed to also find an intelligent reply. Finally, Wufei leaned forward and not so subtly poked one of her breasts.

"So these are real?"

""PERVERT!!!" Quatrina screamed, aiming a hard right-hook to the Chinese boy’s head. She then crossed her arms defensively over her chest and snapped, "Yes, they are real, and I really don’t know why I turn into a girl once a month, but YES, it’s probably because I have twenty-nine sisters, YES, it’s because of my goddamn father and his goddamn Y chromosome, and YES, I’M ON MY RAG!!!" All traces of indignation and anger suddenly left her face and she blinked.

"Wow, I thought only Duo could talk like that." Wufei got another right-hook.

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One whole week with his boyfriend as a girl, and a PMSed girl, at that. Trowa didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

They were in bed, Trowa’s arm draped over Quatrina. The whole mess had somewhat blown over and now they were trying to sleep, or at least Trowa was. Quatrina was already fast asleep, her back snuggled against his chest and her head settled under his chin.

Trowa shifted and yawned; it felt a bit different to hold a girl rather than a boy, much curvier and… curvier. All of a sudden, he was struck by curiosity; he’d never actually seen or felt a girl. So slowly, his hand left her waist to slide up her shirt and cup a soft breast, his thumb gently brushing over her skin. Feeling a jolt of pleasure run through his own body, Trowa squeezed the warm mound and froze when Quatrina stirred. She quickly turned over, blue eyes wide with rage when she saw that his hand was still up her shirt.

Minutes later, the door practically flew off its hinges as a shriek rang through the house. "YOU PERVERT!!!!!" *WHAP!!!*

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Pilot 03 groaned and shut his eyes, feeling his temples throb even harder.

"Are you okay?" Quatrina asked softly, touching his hair. "I’m sorry."

Trowa could only manage a grunt as he held the ice pack over his newly acquired black eye. It was at that point that Quatrina’s eyes filled with tears and she started bawling. "I’M SO SORRY! I DIDN’T MEAN TO HIT YOU THAT HARD! PLEASE DON’T BE MAD-"

She was abruptly cut short when Trowa leaned forward and pulled her close for a nice long lip-lock. He was relieved to see that she wasn’t crying anymore when he pulled back, but at the same time, he was very much horrified to see her lovely eyes were now blood red with impotent fury. "HOW DARE YOU!!!" *WHAP!!!* *CRACK!!!*

Suddenly, there was a gasp and then… "Trowa! Trowa, are you all right? Oh Trowa, I’m so sorry! Please wake up!"

Wufei sat back at the kitchen table and calmly sipped his tea. Meiran’s moodswings hadn’t been nearly half as sudden or vicious.

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Duo shut off the laptop and announced, "Trowa, you and Quatrina have a mission to infiltrate, destroy, yadda, yadda, yadda, WHATEVER!"

"I don’t think she should go," Trowa replied, still holding Quatrina’s hand. The blonde pilot was lying on the couch, wrapped in a quilt, and whimpering from her excruciatingly painful cramps.

Heero raised a dark eyebrow and answered, "With two black eyes and a concussion, you’re in no shape to go either."

Crossing his arms, Trowa leaned back and snapped belligerently, "That’s different, I’m a guy!"

Immediately, Quatrina shot up and glared at him, hands on her hips. "Well, in case you forgot, genius, I can take anything you can, and more! I’m going on that goddamn mission and if you stop me, I’ll blow your banged head off!!!" She suddenly moaned and slid to the floor in a dead faint.

As the Japanese boy picked her up and deposited her back onto the couch, he said flatly, "You have exactly one hour, fifteen minutes, and thirty-seven seconds to wake her up. I suggest you get started right now."

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"Trowa?" Quatrina whispered in the darkness.

"Yes?"

"My stomach hurts again," She moaned, clutching his arm.

"FUCK!!!" He swore, none too softly, wrapping his arm around his near unconscious comrade. Why now, dammit? Couldn’t she have had her cramps last night?

"Tro~owa…" She whined, "Make it stop hurting…"

"Love, I can’t do that right now," Trowa replied tersely, "Can you just wait for a few minutes?"

"DROP YOUR GUNS!!!"

"Okay, maybe a little longer then."

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Trowa continued to mutter rather creative obscenities under his breath as he struggled to free himself from the chair he was tied to. He stopped when the door swung open and the captain strode in, grinning like a total ass.

The stupid grin got even wider as his eyes looked Quatrina over, from her rumpled clothing to her flushed cheeks. In that same instant, the sapphire orbs flashed dangerously and she asked quietly, "Did you just check me out?"

"And what if I did?" Trowa noted sourly, that the captain obviously had the upper hand, and knew it. His sour disposition instantly flashed to pure outrage as the man bent down to cup her chin. "It’s not as though you could stop me."

"THAT DOES IT!!!!!" With a heave, Quatrina snapped all the ropes binding her to the chair and stormed over, fury clearly written on her pretty face. "DO YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN JUST LOOK ME OVER LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT AND GET AWAY WITH THAT, YOU DISGUSTING PERVERT?!?!?!" She raged, her face only inches away from that of the captain’s. Every single one of the OZ soldiers was either huddled in the corner or cowering at her feet, their weapons long forgotten.

Quatrina swung her fist and it cracked against the man’s skull so hard he went crashing into the wall. She then whirled around to the soldiers, who were babbling incessantly with fear. "SET THE SELF-DESTRUCT FOR THIS BASE, NOW!!!"

"Yes ma’am!" All twenty men scrambled out of the room, more or less trampling each other in their haste to escape the girl’s wrath.

Huffing, Quatrina brushed off her clothes and started for the door. "Hurry up, Trowa!" She snapped, not bothering to look behind her.

"Coming, Angel!" Still tied to the chair, Trowa hopped out of the room.

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It was believed that females always had the need to do something to feel better; it was also believed that this certain something was almost always shopping.

"Jesus Christ…" Trowa groaned, from beneath the pile of shopping bags piled on top of him.

"What’s the matter?" The blonde pilot asked, licking her ice cream.

"Couldn’t we just stop for today? Please?" The pile shifted and he sat upright, running his hands through his hair. "I’m really tired."

"You’re just out of shape." She chirped, poking one of his washboard abs. "C’mon, Trowa!"

The boy, however, groaned again; just how the hell did women do this? Quatrina didn’t look the least bit tired, hell, she looked great. She stood there, wearing a miniskirt and tank top, not even the slightest bit aware that every male in the vicinity was watching. Worse yet, if he even so much as touched her, she’d slap him and call him a pervert.

"Tro~owa!" She whined, pulling him to his feet. The pilot wiped his mouth and followed after her.

Hours later…

"I think that’s enough for today, ne Trowa? Trowa, are you okay?"

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"Mm…" The brown haired boy moaned, "God, I love you…" He kissed her again, all the while running his hands over her slender body.

Quatrina giggled, and for once let him do as he pleased. There was some silence and then, "Trowa?"

He stole a quick kiss and replied, "Yes, Love?"

"You did buy condoms, didn’t you?"

Trowa stared at her stupidly before saying, "No, why?"

Quatrina sat up and straightened her clothing before getting out of bed and marching off to a spare room. "Then forget it. I’m not about to have sex with someone who doesn’t use a condom!"

His green eyes bugged out comically and he spluttered, "But why the hell do we need condoms? I mean, look-" He waved a hand to the far wall, or more precisely, to the thumping and moaning behind the wall. "Heero doesn’t need to use a condom!"

"Heero can’t get Duo pregnant!" She snapped impatiently, "And I’m not taking any chances sleeping in the same bed as you!"

The door slammed shut and Trowa punched the wall in frustration. She had even taken the comforter with her!

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Trowa glared sullenly at the other three pilots sitting at him; it had seemed like so long when he’d been able to get some, and the strain was showing.

All of a sudden, there was a loud thump and a scream echoed off the walls. "TROWA BARTON, YOU’D BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION AS TO WHY I’M WEARING A LACY GREEN TEDDY!!!!!!!!!"

Duo sighed happily and said, "Looks like Quatre’s back."

Trowa ,however, bolted for the door.

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Somewhere, beyond the stars, twin goddesses sat watching all this. There was groan and then,

"Pass the Midol…"

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By now, you, my loyal fans, have finished reading this story and are probably questioning my sanity, not that I care, because we all know I’m crazy. Nature Calls V will be up soon, hopefully, so if you haven’t already written me off as some lunatic, I hope you like the rest of my fics too. Ja! ~ LiLi