Saying I love you
is not the words I want to hear from you.

"Duo!" Heero shouted as he ran after the suicidal gundam pilot. Damn it you can be so hysterical sometimes. Heero cursed under his breathe.As he evaded, twist against the trees that seems to always block his path. Trying to keep an eye on the pilot."Duo." He shouted once again. Finally they were in a clearing no more obstacles. He quickly gained up with the braided pilot.& tackle the boy in hiis back.

Duo was caught utterly by suprise. He fell back as Heero slammed his body against his. For a moment stars were swirling around his eyes as he hit his chin first in the hard ground. "Oowwww"

Heero quickly pinned the other boy's arms with his own & he sit atop of Duo. His face showing no sign of exhaustion or weariness. "Now what was that all about?" Heero demanded. Scowling very deeply & giving him one of those murderous glance.

After Duo recovered he quickly buckled; trying to disengage the stronger boy that sits on his chest. He gritted his teeth & glared back at Heero. "None of your damn business, Leggo of me." He squirmed.

Heero quell the surge of pleasure as he felt the boy beneath him squirm. Ohhh Duo that feels so good. But his face shows no sign of pleasure. "I have no time for your games." Heero do not know wether to be pleased or not that Duo finally calmed down & stopped his squirming.

Duo looked away from the boy. He try to stop the tears that treathens to flow in his amaryllis eyes. He bit his lips & for once he is silent. Silently contemplating whether to tell Heero the truth or not.

Heero leaned down to the pilot. "Tell me." his voice softer this time. Then he felt Duo sob. Duo was crying?! What the hell was that all about?!

A minute ago, Heero have found in his laptop a new mission. He & wufei were to infiltrate another OZ headquarters. As he explains this to his fellow pilots, Duo suddenly stood up & ran like hell outside. Insticts told him to find the pilot & calm him down whatever was bothering the boy.

"Tell me." he repeated.

Duo look away from his. He bit his lip trying to contain his tears & sobs. He closed his eyes he dares not to look at Heero. Heero wished Duo won't do that it was so distracting in his part. Heero rubbed his thumb over the smooth cheek. "If you want, you don't have to go to the mission." he offered. Only to Duo will he spoke such kindness only to his lovely Duo. Maybe it was the pressure of the mission that was making Duo act like this. "No!" Duo shouted. Anger have once again built in those watery eyes. Heero was taken aback. Duo quieted silence tookn over for the moment until Duo speak again.

"Heero, I'm sorry it's not that!"

"What is it?"

Duo looked again away from Heero's tender eyes, the look in his eyes he had never seen before. "It's just that I....I don't want you to go risking your life in some stupid mission." he closed his eyes, was his showing of concern to Heero will drove the boy away.

Heero's heart broke. Duo was worried over his welfare. He can see the boy controlling his tears again. he never want to be the reason of his best friend's lament. "We never have a choice." he heard Duo speak again. "....I have never have the choice." Duo bit his lip. "& I'm afraid that the choices they are making for us we'll drive us away." Duo finally cries.

Heero brush the chestnut bangs in his forehead. "Why?" he asked.

"I don't want to see you die!!" Duo wailed. "because I will surely die." he whispered mostly to himself. Shinigami you are pathethic. He scorn himself. Heero doesn't need a weak soldier like you. Heero will never need you.

The whole forest rumbled. The sky darkened threatening everyone to take covers for a storm is gathering. "Duo..." he whispered. A lightning it the ground. Making duo fidget. "Duo.." he called for the name once again. The deafening cry were endless making Heero's heart ache. "Duo, please...." he pleaded. Duo faced him with tear glazed eyes. "I don't ever ever want to see you cry." He wiped those tears away.

"I don't want you to go Heero.because I....I" even if Heero was gentle on him he still couldn't say it. He know that Heero will reject him. He doesn't need distractions, he doesn't need weaknesses. Weaknesses like him. "Duo do you trust me?" he suddenly asked. Duo look at him confusion in his perfect face. "Do you trust me?" he repeated.

".....yes." Heero smiled. Duo was feelng light headed. Heero never smiled. He smiled only to him only for him."Good...then you got to trust me on this one. You will never loose any of us in battle because I am here to make sure of that. You are here to back me up. We will not loose any of our friends & co pilots because every one of us got each other."he felt kinda corny saying that. "& when the war is finally over Duo. We will still be here.." he breathed. He never expected heero to say tings like that. But he felt assured by those words.

"Hey. you are death remember. " Heero teased. Duo smiled. "Thanks."

Heero was going to stood up when something warm grab his arm. "Heero..I.....I.." the braided boy faltered. "I love you." there he said it now Heero is going to hate him & kill him well at least he let it out befoe it kills himself. Heero was looking at him with intense eyes. He could not read what is in Heero's eyes. Was it hate, derision, rejection, pity, resentment, love,....& affection?

Heero was shocked. He never not even in his wildest dreams did it ever occur to him that this beauty will love a sullen & insignificant one like him. is heart was leaping with joy yet his face no signs of emotion making the other pilot doubt himself. Oh duo I will never reject you.

It's not that I want to not to say
but if you only knew.

Heero want to return those words back but he can't. He was never good with words unlike his beautiful love. as he look at the elfin face. He saw once again the sorrow he never want to see in those cheerful face. It makes the pain more unbearable because he knew he is the one making Duo suffer.

Duo's eyes were once again filled with tears. K'so he misunderstood my silence for rejection. How will I get out of this damn. "I..I'm sorry Heero." he heard the boy's dejected voice."But...but I can't help it to fall in love with you." a somber whisper yet it felt to Heero the most beautiful whimsical sound he had ever heard.

Words can't express how I felt my Duo & I hope my actions will be enough. Heero took a deep breathe & lift Duo's downturned face to meet his. Their eyes collide with each other. Heero can see right throught Duo's mask. He can see is tormemted soul. Full of guilt, sadness, hopelesness, & emptiness.....just like him.

Both of them could not breath both waiting for a reaction of the other. Both are confused, Heero's eyes wavered down to Duo's usually loud mouth. The clouds begin to darken & thundered. But none of them cared for this is more important than a downpour could ever be. First it started as a drop of rain as silence begin to deaf the forests the raging storm shattered the growing silence. Buckets & buckets of water came down drowning them both, splattering over their clothes but still they remained fixed & unmoved.

How easy it would be
to show me how you feel.

Heero slowly lowered his head to Duo's his mouth closing in on the elfin pilot. He closed his eyes & reach for Duo's hands.He encircled Duo's waist with the other & give Duo a chaste kiss. Bot their first but sweetest kiss. Duo's eyes closed instinctively. His own hands tightened around Heero's. Oh my god, oh my god was Duo's prayer in his haze mind.

Heero raised his head he looks intently on Duo's closed ones. Will he.....? Duo couldn't open his eyes. How will I face him. He wanted to cry,to shout, to laugh, anything to take away this tingly feeling that warms his body & soul. The rain thundered around them showering their inert bodies with the blending of shadow & light. He can feel his eyelashes wet with tears or rain? he do not know.He can feel light touch running through his cheeks; giving him the most ambrosial feeling he ever perceive in this god forsaken warm.

He can see those prussian orbs slowly open. He swallowed a lump in his throat. How could I fear him so? I who face death without fear a thousand times. & now I trembled over this lithe boy who hold dear to my heart. Because this lovely boy is essential more than your pitiful life Heero Yuy! His own justification nags at him. & where is the perfect soldier? Huh? The mask? I...I have failed they were never established. Because your whimsical gaze have broken my walls. I....I have no power to prevent you for destroying a vital part of myself Duo.

"H-heero?" he breathed. I can see it in your eyes. I'm afraid to touch you. Duo's hand slowly reach to him but flinch back."I'm hoping too much ne Heero?" Hopelessness I might as well say it all after all I ma going to die after this. He was already scared because he couldn't fell the falling rain, time stood still for both of them.He still manages to smile albeit a sad one. "See? I can't always smile Heero & you can't always be in control. We're humans too!! & why can't you act like one & just forget about the damn mission. For once can we just forget about all of them." Longing & pleading. How he pities you. Are you that desperate for love & affection? Are you that stupid not to compensate the lost you are gambling today? Yes & yes...because I have nothing more.

"I can never say it Duo." Duo look at him with those eyes that searches his very soul. "Understand that." he continued. "I am scared Duo, I don't want to loose you & I don't want to give you grief. But that's what I am & I'm risking everyones happiness if I become selfish to love you." There I've said it. "Trowa, Wufei, Quatre & most especially me needs your cheery face to live through the war. If I induce my desolation & coldness to you.I can never forgive myself."

Tears mingle with raindrops fall in Duo's face. His hands gently caress Heero's face. Tracing the jaw line & cheeks of the sturdy pilot.Wiping the water, mud, & tears in his face. "You are my life Heero. I..I'm sorry but I can't help my feelings for you. You are so strong & brave &..." his words were broken by sobs. Finally, he could no longer contain all of these emotions pouring out like the raging storm. "Heero....without you I'd be just dead, I'd be as desolate as...as...." he hugeed Heero burrowing his head through the muscled chest. "I can't live without you Heero."

More than words
is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me coz I already know.

"Duo." He's voice gentle as he placed his fingers at Duo's pliant lips.His fingers glides down to Duo's collar. Unbuttoning it, he kissed Duo once again. Duo opened his lips in protest & it only served as an invitation for Heero's wandering tongue. He close his hand on Duo's. As the rain thundered through the forests the fire of their passion burned brighter. Any inibitions of both was wash away along with the water that constantly drop on their intertwined bodies.

Duo's moans where drowned within the thick forests and the sound of thunders & falling rain. He can feel Heero's hands clasping his own.& the stoic pilot's other hand roaming the expanse of his chest. "Uuhhhhhmmm" His clothes was easily discarded by the perfect soldier. Unbuttoning his shirt with expertise. He lift his body so he can shrug the clothes off. Eager as he was, he still has doubts. Why am I doing this? Why are you doing this? Am I just a way to relieve your stress or there are chances that you can have feelings for me. He twitch when he felt the boy's mouth latching at one of his nipples. Heero look at his eyes & some of this doubts must have shown in his face. Heero look at him questioningly.

Doubts. He clearly see it in his gamin face. Doubt & fear. Welll he couldn't blame him now could he? He caress Duo's flawless cheek & kiss it. "Duo..." He hold Duo's hand with both of his & placed it in his chest. "Can you feel it?" He can hear the erratic pounding of his own hear behind his ears. "It only beats for you. They're just words Duo & I think it is much more important that I show you I lo-care for you rather than say it. It makes all the moment precious..." He kissed Duo's palms & looked expectantly on Duo's face.

What would you do
if my heart was torn in two
More than word to show you feel
That your love me is real

Is it really that important? Last time I only hope & I thank God that he become my friend & I'm the closest to him. Now that he is showing me that he too has feeling for me why can't I be satisfied with what he is willing to give. Because you are only human. A voice in his mind taunt him. & no matter how much you say you are death. You are lonely, greedy, & selfish. Noooo his own voice speaks. "I just want to assure myself." He finally spoke. He can feel the grass prickle his back but he doesn't care. Heero placed his hands on his beating heart then to his own chest. "I think it speaks enough."

It does our heat beats in sync. I should have no fears that he would ever leave me. No not death will seperate us, no one has the power over us, not Heero's indifferent outlook, not my own fears & doubts. Nothing. Yes, It is more than enough. He look over Heero & smile. & the most fantastic thing happened. Heero smiled, not that cynical or scornful smirk he gives the world with.It's so beautiful so innocent yet owns its own sensuality. He just wanted to kiss Heero there & there. "you're beautiful." He murmured. Heero claim his fingers in his lips gently biting it. "No, you are. & your sunny smiles makes you all the more perfect."

What would you say
if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

Time has stopped. The world lay still before us. For us, this moment is sacred in which he could savor every minute of it. From the falling rain that drops on their sleek bodies. To the trust & openness they both share. This was all he ever wanted. All he ever needed. Just Duo. Not the perfect soldier. Duo is enough to return his innocence to make him go back to the boy he never was. With all his might he will protect him. That's his promise to himself though unspoken the sincerity was there.

He suddenly felt Duo's eager hands on his top. He raised his arms so Duo can easily take it off. Duo's cheerful mood has once again return. He kissed Duo. Pushing his tongue on Duo's mouth tasting the sweet recesses of the boy. Duo respond in equal passion playing hide & seek with Heero's questing tongue. Heero's mouth glides down to his chin & neck. Biting gently at the juncture of his neck while his calloused hands explore the expanse of Duo's chest. "AAaahhh!!" Duo cry as he felt Heero playing with his hardened nipples. Heero take one in his mouth suckin it hard & licking it as if to assure the chest nut haired boy.

Duo could do nothing except moan & scream Heero's name as the stoic pilot pleasure his body like never before. His face flushed with desire as Heero's mouth traveled down to his tummy & navel. "H-heero!!" His hands we're squeezing the boy's shoulder. Something deep inside him was beginning to stir. He can feel his whole body tightened. His eyes closed. He find it very hard to breathe. The dropping rain on his body make him shiver making their intimacy more intense. He could do nothing to stop it. He just heard the unzipping of his fly & the removal of his jeans & boxers. His eyes was darting wildly as he feel Heero take his hard length into his mouth. "Uuhhhhmmm." His moan was accompanied by the clamorous thunder.

Heero hungrily sucked Duo's hardened member. He kisses it worshippingly. But the american was surprisingly big giving Heero a slight inferiority complex. Hn, anyway the size doesn't counts....it's what you do with it. He avidly suck Duo as Duo's moans & ragged breathing ullulates to his ears. Duo's voice is so erotic, so damn sensual. He can easily distinguish the differenece of his fantasy Duo & the real Duo. He continue his lustful ministrations over Duo. He can feel Duo's hands in his hair forcing his head downward to his shaft everytime he rise. "Uuhhmmmmm Oohhmmmm." He can feel it. Duo was going to come in a few moments. Heero suck harder at his length as his hands were placed on Duo's knees caressingly squeeze Duo's knee.

Duo thrust himself into Heero's throat. All he could think of is Heero doing this to him. He can feel it deep inside him. That burning sensation that wants to explode. He can almost taste it. "Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh." His hands on Heero's head as he caressed it & at the same time guides it to his aching memeber. Finally he knows its finally coming. "Heeeerrrroooooo!!" His voice echoed through the forest Frightening birds who takes shelter in the leafy canopy. He felt like he was going to pass out as multitudes of lights flash into his eyes. Pleasure over took his consciousness & for once he felt sated.

Heero fervently drank Duo's essence. Feeling him wash through his throat. Replenishing both of them. Satisfying them. But this is far from over. He look up at the lovely boy. His eyes closed as if he's sleeping. he kiss him making the boy taste himself in his mouth. Duo hug his waist pulling him closer & closer to climax as his clothed member rubs at Duo's abdomen. Duo took of his spandex shorts & smiled impishly at his length. Heero scowled at that. Is Duo mocking him?

Duo smiled. & I thought he doesn't have a sex drive or something. Well this, He closed his fingers around the hard shaft proves I'm wrong. Wonder why I'm not disappointed. He licks the tip & found it wet. Huummm Heero doesn't seem impressed. Damn I think it's like making out with a statue. I expect him to moan even just a little. Duo pouted but continued kissing Heero's hardened member.

Heero almost lost his composure as he saw the beautiful braided pilot take him into his mouth. Well almost. He grunted. Duo looked at him & smiled. "I want you inside me." Duo whispered with feverish desire. That was all he needed & he lay the boy in his back again. Kissed his supple mouth & placed his fingers in Duo's tight passage. Duo squirmed in pain. "Mmphh."He tried to bit back the tears that threatens to come to his eyes.

Concern ran through Heero's eyes. "Duo, I'm not sure you are ready for this." He traced the gamin face with worshipping fingers. "Just to have you is more than enough." he pull down & kiss Duo ferevently. Reaching down to encircle Duo's hardening shaft. "H-heero..." He can see clearly now how much Heero car- no loves him. "No I-I want this Heero please." His eyes were filled with fierce dtermination.".....please." & silent pleading & submission.

How could he refuse Duo's wishes. Duo could ask for the stars & Heero will do anything in his power to grant it. This time he was not too eager to pentrate Duo. He moistened first his hands as to luibricate it & slowly insert his digit in Duo's untouch bottom.

Duo felt tears pricking his eyes. But he knows that to show how much e love the boy to show how much he trusts him. He has to do this. He can feel Heero's finger sliding into his tight sheath. Anyway I thought it is more painful. He can feel Heero's mouth lapping once again to his ard nubs soothing him of the excruciating pain yet delicious things Heero is doing to him. Good Lord & we have a mission tomorrow. He'll be sore for weeks.

Heero could feel Duo reacting now to his thrusts. He smiled minutely & insert another finger. "OOoohhh" the braided boy moaned . Clasping his shoulders.

Some way between the pain & pleasure. Pleasure overcome pain. He never felt anything like this so blissful. He just found himself thrusting into Heero's fingers. "Heero..please." Desire colored Duo's voice.

Heero understood. He wanted...no needed to quench his yearning for the beautiful pilot. He finally take Duo. 'He....He's so tight." Heero slowly pushed inside Duo. Thrusting evenly experiencing absolute ecstacy & the peak of sensual emotions. Feeling Duo's finger dug into his back. Hissing in pain. "Aaaahhhh." The braided pilot moaned. "Duo...are you sure?"

"Yes...."

Heero thrust abandonly. He can hear himself grunting. His moans mixing with Duo's. He really love the boy & will do nothing that will ever make his angel cry.

Duo thought he was going insane. The way Heero make him feel. He closed his eyes as he feel Heero's love for him. His kiss are demanding. His touch warms his soaked skin. 'If you could always be like this always.'

Heero circled his fingers around Duo's length. Gently caressing the hardened member. "Come with me." He whispered in Duo's ear. Nibbling at the little flesh. Tightening his grip on his member. Rubbing the tip with his thumb. As he thrust evenly at the boy. Drinking the tiny droplets of rain that spatters over the American's flesh. He can feel it building inside of him. His desire for this boy. He can feel Duo thrusting faster & faster in his hand.

"H-heero please........"

Heero's entire world exploded. A blinding light flash through his eyes. He came spurting his seed inside his lover. At the same time he can feel the warm liquid that is Duo's essence spilling in his hands & belly. He sought for those sweet lips once again. Tasting the boy squirming beneath him. His kiss was hard & he never want this to ever end.

The sun was finally peeking through the dark clouds. The rain has finally stopped. He had his arm around Duo yet the boy was silent. He kiss the nape of the boy feeling the hair tickle his lips. Soft chest nut hair wrapped around both of their bodies melding them.

He was satisfied both physically & emotionally. He caressed the boy's slender waist. "Duo?" He wanted Duo to look at him & say those words again. Even if he himself could not say it back.

"Please don't go......" He knows that Duo was crying once again. "I love you, please don't go." His shoulders racked with each sob. Heero reach out & caress those lovely chest nut hair.

"Duo...." That was the voice of a man who just lost his battle.

Now that I've tried to
talk to you & make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
& just reach out your hand
& touch me Hold me close don't ever let me go

After one week...... Duo was the first one to greet him at the cockpit. He found his arms full of an energetic ball also known as Duo Maxwell. His hard eyes soften & hug the boy tighter. "Hmmm Baka." he said lovingly. "Now what would the others say." He admonished the boy.

"That I love you very much & you lo- care for me too." He smiled. Heero could easily see that Duo still hasn't gotten over the thing that he can't say his feeling verbally. "You know I do." He kiss the boy & let him go. "Let's spend the night together." & brush his fingers to Duo's cheeks. Duo rubbed his face in Heero's palm "I will love that."

He was waiting here for an hour. Heero said that he will come here at eight o'clock sharp. & if Heero is not prompt then he is not Heero Yuy, the perfect soldier. 'Why would Heero pick the sea shore. Well it's beautiful here.' He can feel the warm sea breeze in his face, he close his eyes.

"Do you like it here?" a husky voice asked. Strong arms captured him in a tight embrace. "Heero?" He turned & he saw the Japanese boy holding two glasses & a bottle of wine. "No more than you I bet." He eyed the wine. 'Hmmmm Good vintage, Hee-chan always go for the best.'

Heero nodded looking at the crashing waves. The moon is full. It's light giving Duo an ephemeral vision, like an angel sent from heaven. Stars sparkles like little diamonds hanging from the heavens. "It's beautiful here." Effortlessly he opened the bottle of wine & poured some in the glass.

"Hmmmmm This is a special night." Duo smiled, it was very seldom to see Heero like this taking the initiative. "Wanna make out in here?" He teased.

Heero look at him amused. "We can, but that was not we came here for. Not only that anyway." He smiled. His facial muscles hurt when he does that. Duo's eyes melted seeing his lover smile for him. He touch his hand as he take the wine.

A comfortable silence filled the space between them. They sip some wine & feel their head go a little light headed. There was a comfortable warmth in their stomach making Duo giggle a little. "So why did you bring me here?" He asked a slight blush was forming in his cheeks.

"Remember when we first make love & I told you that words aren't that important as actions?" Heero asked. Duo nodded as he take another sip of the wine. "I know that it doesn't matter now. Tell me don't tell me. Who cares, as long as you show it."

'He is finally growing up.' Heero noted. He smiled & touch Duo's cheeks. "I found out that I am wrong. 'sigh' When I went to the mission, I felt so empty that I didn't give you an assurance that I care about you that I need you. & I found inside myself that I wanted to tell you, I need to tell you even once that I love you." He look at Duo who was so stunned he could not speak.

Heero's eyes soften, He repeated once again. "I love you."

Duo's eyes was filled with tears. He glomped at the usual stoic pilot & closed his eyes. "Heero, sniff I never thought sniff you could ever say that to me. sniff I- I love you too." He cried in his arms & he didn't care if this is an act of weakness. He just want to show the braided pilot just how much.

He closed his eyes. This is what he have been looking for & longing for all his life. & he vowed that he will never let go of his precious angel in his arms.