Warnings and Disclaimers: First of all Shin Kidousenki Gundamn Wing does not belong to me. *sobs* But I wish it did. Hey I wonder if they’ll take my little sister in return for the series. *shrugs* Also this story is a angst Shounen-ai. If you don’t know what that means read the first sentence and you’ll have a pretty good idea. You don’t like it, I don’t care. Leave I ain’t keeping you here.

I sit up and look around wondering where he is. I’m still in shock. I told him how I felt and he didn’t kill me. In fact he-if it wasn’t a dream caused by the left over chemicals in my system-returned my feelings. Could it be? Could Heero really love me back? Oh God, please don’t let this be a cruel joke.

I feel dizzy again. I’m becoming well accustomed to this feeling. It’s become a reliable friend always there when I need him. I smile as I lie down. Always the joker-Duo Maxwell-never a frown. Is that always a good thing?

I always push the sorrow down, deep down into the most unreachable parts of my heart and now they’ve come out, like soda when you open the bottle after you shake it. Jesus, what have I gotten myself into?

Heero walked into Duo’s room. He looked up at the watch on the wall; it had been four hours since he had left the boy.

After Duo had finished hyperventilating he had passed out from sheer exhaustion. Heero had smiled softly (something he rarely did) and covered the beautiful boy with a blanket. He continued to look down at the sleeping boy. He leaned forward and kissed the sweaty forehead before leaving.

Now he was back in the room, looking at the same beautiful sleeping face and wondering about the things he could be dreaming of. Heero smiled again and placed the plate of food on the night-stand before walking towards the mirror.

He looked at the mirror for a moment, his eyes skimming over the words written in blood-his stomach churned-Duo’s blood. His beloved, his beloved Duo had done this to himself because of him. Heero felt sick. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them once more.

He looked up at the words once more and took the Windex he had stuffed in the back of his spandex. He aimed at the words and sprayed them. Then he began to wipe them off one by one.

Pain

He would remove all the pain that the boy felt.

Emptiness

He would fill all the emptiness inside the boy with love. All the love that Heero Yuy felt for the pilot would remove all the emptiness in both their hearts.

Hate

Duo would feel no more hate only the love that Heero felt for him.

Death, murder, unholy, evil, damnation

They would face it all together and Heero would protect the boy with all the power he has. Nothing would ever hurt his Shinigami again and survive.

Hitori, Hitotsu, yui

He would never be alone again. No longer would he face the world by himself. Heero would always be there to protect him.

He finished wiping the words away just as Duo awoke.

"Heero?"

Heero turned and looked at the boy. He walked towards him and sat down on the bed. Duo looked at him, eyes full of confusion. Heero frowned he knew what Duo needed to hear but was he ready to say those words?

"Duo I…" I stop myself. I’m not ready to say this am I? Why was it so easy for him to say yet so hard for me?

"Ore wa omae ga suki desu, Heero."

He said it so simply, like if he had said it to me a million times before. The words still ringing in my ears. He loves me, he told me he loved in my native language. He rarely spoke in Japanese. Saying it was hard for him to remember the difference between one form of the language from the other.

"Before you know it I’ll have said two completely different things cause I’ll mix up the words." He has joked. I knew he was lying, I’ve heard him speak the language perfectly when he needed to, he’s just lazy. Ch’, lazy American.

I look deep into his eyes. He’s waiting patiently for me to finish. Patience is not one of Duo strong suits. I smile gratefully and his eyes widen at the sight of my smile. He turns his head and looks out the window.

"Nani?" I ask him. He turns back smiling.

"I want to see the four horsemen when they fly by." His smile is even large then before and it’s not a forced smile it’s genuine.

"Baka." He chuckles.

Seeing him do that brings so much happiness into my life. He hasn’t done that in so long and I am happy to hear that sound. Though I can’t help wonder if that laugh is just part of the mask he keeps wearing. Did he learn to hide his pains from me? Is trying to fool me into thinking he’s fine?

"Heero-" I place my finger over his lips and look deep into his eyes. I sigh and remove my finger; he seems almost sadden by the lost of the digit.

"Duo, I have to say something." I began a little nervously. He must be able to see how scared I am, but I don’t care. If I can’t show my true self to him then he’s not the one I love is he now?

It’s funny, we’re so different yet so similar. We wear similar mask. We act one way so that no one will realize our true nature, so that we won’t be hurt. Hopefully together we will be able to lose these stupid masks and be happy together. Really happy with fear of showing each other how we really feel. I wonder if that’s possible.

Hn. I’ll make it possible.

"Yes Heero?" he asks me a bit worried. He begins to nibble on his lower lip.

"I have to say this now because if I don’t I’ll never say it." I stop collecting my thoughts. He waits hands folded on his lap his white teeth still gnawing on his lower lip. "And me not saying it was the reason all this happened." I take a deep breath. "Duo…Duo I…" I bit my lip. K’so! Why is this so hard? "Duo I…I…" I growl and take his hand looking into his deep violet orbs. "Duo…Duo Ai Shiteriu Damnit! Why was that so hard to say?"

He looks at me with a shocked expression and it slowly begins to soften. He smiles at first then begins to chuckle and finally lets out a boisterous laugh. I glare at him. What can be so funny about me telling him I love him? I expected many kinds of reactions but this was surely not one of them. He looks at me and tries to calm down.

"I…I’m sorry…Heero." He says through fits of laughter. "But…" he stops and takes a deep breath. "That was hilarious. I’m sorry, that didn’t come out right." He stops and thinks. "I’ve never heard someone say I love you then follow it up with ‘Damnit! Why was that so hard?’ So when you said I love you and then said the other stuff, I just couldn’t help but find it so funny. And anyway you looked so cute when you said it."

He gives me a small apologetic smile and I can’t stay mad at him. I take him in arms and pull him close. His body is stiff for a moment then relaxes. He snakes his arms around my waist and leans his head against my shoulder.

"Heero I’m glad you told me." He said after a few moments. "I don’t know how long I would have lasted. I might’ve tried to kill myself today."

I change my position so that I can take hold of his chin and look into those beautiful eyes. I lean in and kiss him, a quick kiss but a kiss none the less. The beginning to a countless number of kisses that we will share together.

"I’m glad too. I don’t know what I would have done without you." He smiles and leans into kiss me, a deeper one, one that express all the love that he has for me. I return the kiss wrapping my arms tightly around the boy and pulling him closer.

I lay awake in bed and look over at the body that lies next to me. Heero looks so peaceful when he sleeps so different from the boy that I see during the day. So different from the boy I met today. His arms around wrapped possessively around my waist one of his legs is thrown over mine.

He cares-no-he loves me. I can hardly believe that. But love won’t change the way I feel about myself. I still loathe my very existence, even more now for dragging Heero into this.

I have to admit that when I told him I loved him it wasn’t just because I wanted him to know. It was because I was hoping that he’d get so angry and so disgusted with me that he might kill me. And that very thought, as true as it may be makes me even more disgusted with myself. How weak can one human being be that they can’t even carry out their own suicide. What kind of person am I, which has to result to trickery to get themselves killed? And how can I make the one I love, the one that loves me carry something like that out.

You’re disgusting Duo Maxwell.

I look down at Heero and feel sorry for him. I feel so terrible; he had to fall in love with me of all people. I should just give him up. Turn away from him, but I can’t give him up. I love him so much that I can’t stand the idea of not being with him.

Also the thought of all the pain I’ll be bring to those prefect Prussian eyes kills me. That’s why I can’t leave him. That’s why I’ll be the best lover possible. That’s why I’ll make sure that this time he doesn’t realize the truth.

I will always be with you Heero Yuy. Even if it kills me inside, even if I can’t stand living I’ll be with you and never leave until God take me from you. That’s when I will finally be at peace. But until then Heero you will never be without me. I’m sacrificing so much for you Yuy. You are the only reason I’ll live this miserable life.

Only you. I love you Heero Yuy. Ai shiteriu.

Owari