The light smacking his eyelids woke him up. He opened his eyes slowly and groaned. He felt as if someone was hitting his brain with a hammer. Raising his hand slowly he rubbed his temple and began to wonder where he was. Everything was still somewhat fuzzy. He gave his surroundings another look around and realized that he was back home.

How’d I get home? Duo thought as he sat up. The room began to spin, with a groan escaping his lips he fell back onto the bed and waited for the pain to subside. I must have been really out of it. I don’t remember getting home.

He heard noise coming from the kitchen noticing immediately that Heero was home. He groaned again, but this time not from pain but from shame. He knew Heero must have seen him come in.

Oh God, what he must have though. Duo thought squeezing his eyes tighter. Well whatever he thought it’s all probably true. God Duo you fool. Should have waited ‘til he felt for a mission. A soft sigh escaped his dry lips. Should have killed yourself instead of drowning your sorrows.

Duo looked towards the door when he heard it open. Heero stepped into the room his face was unreadable. He walked over to Duo and sat down on the chair next to the bed.

The room was completely silent as the two boys stared at each other, each waiting for the other to speak first. Neither wanting to be the first to break the silence. Finally Heero spoke.

"Explain yourself."

The words suddenly destroy the anxiety filled silence and I find my body is heating up with fear. He looks at me with emotionless Cobalt eyes and I don’t know if he’s angry or not. Though I know he’s angry, I could have compromised a mission. The mission, Ch’. Is that the only thing you think about Heero Yuy? There are more important things in this world then missions. Though I know I’m not one of those things.

"Well?" He folds his arms over his chest, his irritation showing on his face. One of the few emotions he doesn’t hide.

"What do you want me to say, Heero?" I close my eyes pressing my fingers against the sides of the bridge of my nose. "I’m sorry okay. Now leave me alone."

"That’s not what I asked you." The anger he is displaying is evident. You’d have to be a fool not to notice and I find myself beginning to wonder how exactly will he deal with me. "Duo-"

"I heard you." I snap. I shouldn’t be saying things to anger him further but I can’t help myself. His incessant questioning, which I wouldn’t mind if it was he cared about me. But he’s only questioning me to pass judgment on me as if he was God or something. "It has nothing to do with you. So don’t worry. Just leave."

"Duo answer my question." I let out a long sigh and look at him. His face is expressionless.

"Damn it Heero leave me alone!" He glares at me for a moment and he unfolds his arms. He then stands up and walks over to me sitting down on the bed. I look at him trying my best to show all the anger that I am feeling at the moment. He seems to be ignoring it because he just moves closer placing his hands on my face.

Oh God what is he doing? The words run through my mind like a mouse in a maze. I must be still dreaming. I gasp as his hands grip around my neck. No I was wrong. I’m awake.

"What are you doing?" I mange out as he squeezes tighter. He moves his head up and looks deep into my eyes.

"Duo listen to me." He says, there’s a deadly tone in his voice. "I am getting sick and tired of your antics. If you don’t tell me what the fuck is wrong with you…" He doesn’t continue, just squeezes my neck tighter. I gasp for air but I’m not getting enough of it.

I stare into those Cobalt eyes searching for a sign that he is only playing around but only see a psychotic determination. Am I trembling? Of course I am I’m going to be killed with the hands of the man I love. It’s only fitting. See? I told you God I’d be coming soon.

"Duo! Answer me!" Is he being demanding or desperate? I can’t tell. All I know is that I’m going to die.

I look deeper into those deadly eyes and make a decision. If I’m going to die I’m not going to go with out telling him. Because I know that when he finds out he will strangle me. I smile bitterly. A perfect way to die, ne? Death for honesty. It’s almost to perfect.

"Heero." I gasp. He is grip loosens enough to let me speak. "You wanna know why I did what I did." He says nothing. "You wanna know about the drug, the alcohol, the blood, everything." He still says nothing. "I did it all because of you."

My heart stops, I release him and move back. My eyes never moving from his. My worst nightmare coming true. It can’t be. It’s all my fault? But how? How could I be the cause this? I look at the mirror; my name seems to be coming out of the glass.

Heero

I’m finding it hard to breathe as I look at my name. It almost seems to be mocking me. Then I another word catches my eyes.

Unholy

And another:

Love

Could it be?

Heero unholy love

I look back at Duo who is now sitting up. He knows what I am thinking and nods. I shake my head refusing to believe it is true but he nods again and then speaks confirming what has just been discovered with words.

"Ore wa omae ga suki desu, Heero" he says with too much confidence for my liking.

"Mou taku." I say closing my eye trying to ignore the weak feeling I’m having at the moment. I can hear him stifling a giggle and I open my eyes to look at him.

He stops, looking at me with expecting eyes and I find myself wondering what he’s expecting. Then it hits me. He thinks I’m going to kill him. He’s sitting there patiently waiting for me to take his life and at this moment that’s exactly what I want to do.

I walk towards him and he swallows nodding slowly before laying back down on the bed. I sit down on the same spot I was on before and look down at the small body next to me.

"Duo." I say softly. He looks at me. "Omae o korosu." My voice has a deadly edge to it. He nods slowly.

"I understand." He says. It almost hurts me to look at him like that. "I was expecting you to. Just do me the favor of making it fast. I’ve suffered enough and I’m going to be in Hell soon. So I wanna have a bit of peace as I’m going."

"Duo." I try to make my voice as soft as possible. "I don’t wanna kill you cause you came out about your feelings." His eyes open and he gives a curious look. "I’m going to kill you because you didn’t tell me sooner."

I watch as those eyes open wider. Something I thought was impossible. His mouth moving up and down trying to form words that would never come out.

"Nanda?!" he exclaimed, his breath was becoming ragged. "You mean? I can’t believe it. No way." I smile.

"I guess I’m going to have to prove it." Which is something that bothers me in the least.

I lean forward. He looks at me with eyes as wide as dinner plates. His face pale and breathing still ragged. My lips brush over his over his and he begins to hyperventilate.

I move back, completely terrified. I move away giving him room to breathe and he continues to hyperventilate. His eyes are blank as he stares in my direction.