Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing, I wish I did, but I don’t. Please don’t sue me, I’m poor and really bad under pressure.....ummm, did I mention I’m poor?

Warning: Well, um, it’s a stupid story, there’s a itsy-bitsy yaoi hint, and some bad words and really , really no plot in this story and a whole lota OOC.

It was a normal day for the G-boys, but of course normal for them is, well, weird to us. Anyway, getting to a point here, while the G-boys where eating breakfast, Duo had an idea to try and strike up a conversation.

“Hey, Wu-man. Have you ever been kissed?”

This, of course, was not a way to start a conversation with a certain Chinese pilot. Thus, that said pilot gave a certain Japanese pilots’ trademark glare-o-death and left his breakfast and the table.

Shinigami, never one to waste good food, ate the rest of Wufei’s breakfast as well as his own and trailed after the Chinese warrior. Duo found Wufei working on his Gundam. Duo, still wanting an answer to his question, asked again. “Hey, Wu-man, Have you ever been kis~”

“MAXWELL!!! I’M NOT ANSWERING YOUR STUPID QUESTION, NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.”

“Relax Wufei, It’s only a question.” Duo said as he walked away to give the Altron pilot some privacy.

~Five minutes later~

“Hey Wu-man”

“If you ask me if I’ve ever been kissed one more time Maxwell....”

“Geesh, Wufei, relax, I’m not!!”

Wufei paused at his repairs on his Gundam and looked at the braided pilot.

“Okay then, what do you want then.”

Duo grinned. “Have you ever kissed someone else?”

“MAXWELL!!!”

“Yes or no, Wufei. I’m not asking for a full sentence answer of your detailed life, I’m just curious!!!” Duo said raising up his hands in defense.

Wufei closed his eyes and took a deep breath, while mumbling something under his breath. “Why are you so curious anyway?”

“Just am, I don’t know you that well as to try and figure it out myself so I thought I might as well ask you,” Duo shrugged, he gave a friendly smile as he cocked his head at Wufei.”soooo, yes or no?”

Wufei looked at Duo for a moment then sighed ”No.”

“See, was that hard?,” Duo said as he placed his hands in his pockets and lifted his head up. “Have you ever been kissed?”

“No”

“Oh, ok. Well, see ya later Wu-man.” With that Duo walked off to where....no one knows. This, like anyone else, scared Wufei.

Wufei finished his maintenance on Altron and quickly went to see what the Deathsythe pilot was up to, because everyone knows that if Duo stalks around for an answer for an hour, he’s been up to something from the start.

After a long search with no results as to where the braided baka was, Wufei was getting pretty edgy. “Have any of you seen Maxwell?” Wufei asked Quatre and Trowa, who where both sitting on the couch watching a movie. (Of course, they weren’t really paying attention to the movie ^_~’)

“I haven’t seen him since this morning. Why, what’s wrong?” Quatre asked.

“Nothing, I was just wondering.” Wufei said as he walked off to continue his search.

Wufei’s search came to a halt when he spotted the braided pilot walking towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Wufei said running up to Duo before he could reach the door.

“Hey, Wufei, didn’t see you comin’, I’m heading to the mall to pick up a few things and shop around for awhile,” Duo said holding up a piece of paper to somehowprove his point. “Want to come?”

Wufei eyed him strangely. “Why doesn’t Heero go with you?”

Duo rolled his eyes.“Aww, you know Heero and his laptop, I couldn’t get him away from that thing if it grew teeth and began chewing his legs off. ”

“Hmph,” was Wufei’s reaction to that statement. “sure, I’ll go with you.”

“GREAT!!,” Duo cheered as he open the door, then quickly shut it. ”Man, it’s chilly out. Hey, can you hand me my coat?”

Wufei complied and grabbed his and Duo’s coat. They both quickly put them on and were out the door the next moment.

Now, Lets make the setting of the mall a little clear for ya. It’s December, and well, Christmas is just around the corner, so you can try and guess how crowded it was. Yeah, I think you get the point one way or an other.

The two pilots walked into the mall and headed for the food court to grab some drinks for the long walk through the Christmas traffic. After receiving their drinks, they headed for the nearest store. Which is a music store that will be called Muse-zic Hut, cuz I’m in Shortage of a Muse and there’s a very small chance that it’s a real store somewhere called that. ( Thus, less likely chance of me getting in trouble *sweatdrop*)

Anyhooo....The two split up to look around the store alone, each at opposite sides of the store. Wufei was browsing at a row of CD’s when he heard some annoying giggling behind him. Wufei figured that it was just some girls giggling at some CD they were looking at, so he ignored them and continued browsing. That was until someone tapped him from behind. Wufei turned around to face three very hyper girls. Before he could ask what they wanted, they all pounce on him and gave him a big smack on the lips.

Wufei, never saw what hit him and before he could recover of the sudden attack of girls, they all had run off giggling madly. Wufei was beet red, whether it was from embarrassment or from just being pissed off, is anyone’s guess.

“Hey, Wufei, I’m going to pay for these and head over to the next store, you ready to go?” Duo asked smiling.”Hey, what’s wrong with you?”

Wufei calmed down a little, but gave Duo a glare that would of left the braided pilot laying on the floor, rotting in a thousand pieces in solid ice, if looks could kill.

“What?!” Duo asked with a smirk on his face. Wufei took a deep breath and walked out of the store.

Duo stood in the long line to pay for his purchases while Wufei waited around just outside the store trying to figure out what the whole incident inside the store was about.”Whatever it was, I know Maxwell was in it for sure.” Wufei said to himself. Suddenly, Wufei got a sudden chill up his spine. Quickly, he looked around in the crowd to see what was watching him.

All he saw was people walking by all around him, he knew some one or something was watching him, he just couldn’t see what. Then he noticed a small part in the crowd and stared at two girls staring at him a few feet away. Not wanting to risk another attack of rowdy girls, Wufei power walked away from them.

A few minutes later, Wufei stopped and glanced behind him. He didn’t see anyone following him anymore so he sat down on a bench.

“What the hell is going on?!!?” He asked himself. After a few minutes of trying to answer his question, he saw the two girls from before heading towards him with grins on their faces. Only this time, the two girls had multiplied into seven. Wufei didn’t even take a second glance at them, he was up and practically running away from them.

It wasn’t long before Wufei had almost every other teen girl in the mall following him around. Wufei just thought it was his imagination getting the better of him at first, but when they followed him to the bathroom, he knew they were after him.

So, Wufei was now in the men’s bathroom with a large crowed of girls waiting outside. He was trapped. Wufei was staring at his reflection in the mirror, trying for the hundredth time to figure out what was going on when Duo came into the bathroom.

“Hey! I finally found you, I’m done getting your presents, ready to go?”

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO??” Wufei yelled at the top of his lungs.

“What are you talking about?” Duo asked, ”I haven’t done anything.”

“DON’T GIVE ME THAT MAXWELL!!, YOU DID SOMETHING AND NOW I HAVE ALMOST EVERY GIRL IN THIS MALL FOLLOWING ME AROUND!!!”

“Chill, Wu-man. There’s no one following you, geez, don’t get yourself paranoid all the time. ” Duo said scratching the back of his head. ”Come on, I think you’ve had enough mall for today.”

“I can’t, there’s a crowd of girls outside waiting for me to come out.” Wufei mumbled.

“There’s no one out here.” Duo said as he open the door to peak out. Wufei snuck a peak outside to find no one out there. Wufei let out a sigh of relief as he and Duo walked out of the restroom towards the exit. Not really noticing that they were passing by the girls restroom.

A girl came out and stared at Wufei then yelled into the restroom. Duo froze like a deer in headlights as a crowd of girls started to pour out of the bathroom and ran straight for Wufei. Wufei ran towards the exit like a bat outta hell and didn’t look back.

Duo meanwhile, ducked and covered as a stampede of girls trampled pass. Duo stood up after the rush of girls and checked himself over to make sure he was still alive. He let out a sigh of relief to find himself in one piece. Then he ran off after them to try and save Wufei from certain doom.

Wufei at this point, was sure glad he was a good runner. He was also pissed that he couldn’t run faster. He was able to run faster then most of the girls, but some of them were track stars, barley behind him AND SOME WERE IN HEELS!!

“INJUSTICE!!!!” Was all Wufei chanted in his mind as he bolted for dear life, jumping over cars, passing them up in the road, not to mention all the red lights he ran(on foot) Yet everytime he glanced back, the crowd of girls were closer. Suddenly Wufei fell and time slowed down to a stop and he hit the ground and rolled. He opened his eyes and looked up as hundreds of girls jumped on him. Wufei knew that he was finished and that escape was impossible. So, he did what anyone in their right mind would do in his case. He screamed.

Duo was beyond out of breath by the time he reached Wufei. The crowd of girls were gone, but a few could still be seen heading off into the horizon. Wufei was on the ground gasping for air. His clothes were torn and ripped in places,his pockets were full of pieces of paper, his hair was out of his pony tail and mussed beyond decription and he was bruised and covered in lipstick.

Duo bent down and looked at Wufei with deep concern. He checked over to see if he was bleeding or had any broken bones. “Nope, just bruised.” Duo thought to himself. “Hey, Wufei....Are you all right?”

Wufei slowly got up and staggered.”I..I’m...f..f..fine.”

Duo put Wufei’s arm around his neck and supported him as they began to walk back home. “Just relax Wufei, Damn I didn’t know women could be so crazy.”

“J..J...Just...S..Shut...up....”

By the time the two got back, Wufei was still a little shocked, but better. They were greeted by Sally and Noin.

“WUFEI!!WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU?!!” Was practically the only respond they got.

“I got attacked by a mob of girls.”

“Really?! Where did you go?” Noin ask as she helped Wufei take off his coat. Duo took his coat off and ran to his and Heero’s room with his stuff. Sally grabbed a piece of paper from the coat pocket and read it.

Hey cutie, Like what I see, Give me a call.
-Ginger

Included on the note was a phone number and an address. She grabbed another note and read it. It basically had the same message. Not including a couple things which were every unlady-like.

“I went to the mall.” Was all he said as he sat down on a nearby chair.

“You know, it’s singles week at the mall now that I think about it. All single people get discounts and free stuff or something like that.” Noin said.

“What does that have to do with me?” Wufei asked as he grabbed a note from Sally.

“Well,” Sally said as she grabbed the jacket from Noin. “Next time, you might want to wear something a little less condemning.” With that, Sally held up the back of the jacket to Wufei.

‘Kiss me, I’m single’ Was printed in big letters.

“MAXWELL!!!!!”

Ooohhh boy, that was terrible.*sweatdrop* not to mention dumb, moronic, stupid, etc. I can’t believe I wrote it. Oh well, what’s done is done. it’s the first GW fic I ever finish....sad ne? Well, I’d like to know how those of you who read it think. Yep all one of you. Drop me a line at [email protected]. I’ll write another fanfic soon and I promise that it will be allot better then this. Think of this more as a warm up. Also, if anyone has a muse to spare, I’m in great need of one, mine was lost to a sugar rush(long story) Thanks for letting me waste your time ^_^