Who Wants to be a Chef?<title> </head> <body bgcolor=cadetblue link=lime vlink=orange><center> <script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="//ad.broadcaststation.net/ads/show_ad.php?width=728&height=90"></script> </center>  <script async src="https://www.googletagmanager.com/gtag/js?id=G-4KX380T5BD"></script> <script> window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);} gtag('js', new Date()); gtag('config', 'G-4KX380T5BD'); </script>  <geoads></geoads>   <font face="Tempus Sans ITC" color=black size=3pt> <P>Standard Disclaimer: Neither the Iron Chefnor Gundam Wing belong to me. I wish they did, because I'd be rich, but . . . I'm not. Please don't sue me, unless you get some sick pleasure out of torturing poor people!<br><br><br></font> <font face="Tempus Sans ITC" color=black size=6pt><center><u>Who Wants to be a Chef?</u></center></font><br> <font face="Tempus Sans ITC" color=black size=4pt><center>by rinoastar</center></font><br><br><br> <font face="Tempus Sans ITC" color=black size=3pt> <P>Trowa set the last plates on thetable. He wiped his hands on his apron. Quatre grinned and picked up his fork,along with Heero and Wufei. Duo just stared at his plate. <P>"Oi, what's this?" the braided boyasked, picking at his food. <P>"Chicken pot-pie. Eat it," Heero commanded before stuffing a piece of crust into his mouth. Quatre and Wufeiboth eagerly complied. <P>"Hey, T-man, you know I think of ya as a brother, but you make the homliest little housewife. Howsabout ya let someone else try cooking ?" Duo snickered. <P>"Like who, Maxwell ?" Wufei set hisfork to the side. <P>"Like me! I can cook, ya know!"Duo grinned. Quatre choked on his food, and Trowa began to gently pat his back. <P>"I think Trowa's doing a fine job!"the blonde boy said once he could speak. <P>"That's just because when he plays the 'Mommy,' you get to play the 'Daddy,'" Duo'sgrin widened as Quatre blushed and discontinued the debate. <P>Heero yanked Duo's braid, "Leave themalone!" Wufei looked as if he was fighting off a nosebleed and Trowa was rendered speechless (.:: *crickets* That was a joke, peoples!::.). <P>"Fine. Tomorrow night, you cook, " Trowasaid. <P>"I've got a better idea!" Duo chirped. Quatre was glaring daggers at him, in defense of his koibito. "You cook some things with what we have, and I'll cook some things that are totally different from the same stuff! Then, whoever's is best will cook! And Quatre, " Duo winked at the blonde. " . . . you can't be judgemental because your koibito is cooking!" <P>"Ne, Maxwell, that's the smartest thing you've said since I met you!" Wufei frowned. <P>"Who said I'd be judgemental ?" Quatreasked. Duo shrugged. <P>The next evening at dinner. <P>Duo tied his apron on as Heero carefully pinned back his braid. When his koi was through, Duo flexed his muscles and prepared the timer. Across the room, Quatre was tying Trowa'sapron strings into a bow. <P>Wufei opened the cabinet. "K'so! Weforgot to buy groceries!" he swore. He set a box of rice on the counter, albeit reluctantly, a block of tea, a box of animal crackers, a tin of cocoa mix, and two cans of condensed chicken broth followed. *Very* reluctantly, he set their last loaf of bread down, then moved on to the refridgerator. He removed a carton of milk, a bag each of sugar, flour, and cornstarch, a chunk of swiss cheese, three packages of unidentifiable lunch meats, a carton of eggs, and two sticks of butter. <P> The last three took their positions as helpers. Wufei guarded the clock, Quatre stood by Trowa, and Heero stood by Duo. Wufei counted down, "Five, four, three, two, one, GO!" and started thetimer. <P>Trowa grabbed the flour, milk, and eggs. Very precisely, he measured out the ingredients. Quatre returned the items and rushed back. Trowa mixed the items carefully and sent Quatrefor salt. <P>Meanwhile, Duo grabbed a can of broth and some of the animal crackers. Wufei, seeing this, sweatdropped and briefly wondered if whatever Duo was making would be edible. Duo put the broth into a pan and added milk, instead of water. Then, he put pieces of bread in the mess. <P>Wufei gagged and glanced at the timer. "Fifty minutes left!" he announced. Trowa nodded to Quatre and put his creation in the oven. Duo grinned and glanced at Heero, who was eating theanimal crackers. <P>"Hey! Don't eat those!" he yelled, turning to Heero. As he turned, Duo hit the handle of his pan, sending his lukewarm 'soup' flying. It splattered everywhere, and Wufei breathed a half-sigh of relief that he wouldn't have to eat it. He also noticed Quatre placing a few slices of bread onto a plate. <P>Trowa was busy mixing his can of broth with water. Then, he added a half-cup of rice (.:: people really like that, you know! ::.). Quatre retrieved a few slices of cheese and put them onthe plate with the bread. <P>Duo decided to start over. He cracked a few eggs and put them in a clean pan. Then he poured in a bit of milk. He carefully mixed it. Wufei grinned to himself. 'At least he's making something I've *heard* of before, ' he thought asduo turned the stovetop on. <P>Reassured, Wufei checked the clock. "Forty minutes left!" he announced. Trowa sent Quatre for the eggs. When the blonde retrieved them, the two had a quiet conversation. Straining his ears, Wufei caught " . . . it works with cheddar . . . " The Chinese boy shrugged and watched the competition. <P> It seemed that Trowa was copying Duo, for a bit. He mixed four eggs with some milk and began to cook. Then, he began to scramble his eggs, while it was obvious that Duo was not. Quatre brought Trowa one pack of lunchmeat, putting another away with his bread and cheese. <P>Duo continued to scold Heero for eating the cookies. He sent him for more, and watched him to make sure he didn't eat them. Heero seemed to be staring over Duo's shoulder. Angry, Duo spun on his heel and faced his omlette, which was, by now, en' flambe' ! He shrieked and Heero calmy poured bakingsoda over it. <P>Wufei's eyes were the size of dinner plates as he turned to look at the clock. "Th-thirty minutes left! Halfway through!" he announced shakily. Trowa was busy mincing the meat, but nodded his head in understanding. Duo stood, musing the reason his dish had spontaneouslycombust. <P> Trowa mixed the minced meat with somecheese Quatre had been grating. He then stirred it into the scrambled eggs. Quatre handed him a wooden spoon so he wouldn't scratch thepan's non-stick coating. <P> Duo finally found out why his eggshad fried themselves. He turned the stovetop temperature back down to a reasonable eight hundred. Heero almost smiled as he ate another cookie. His koibito chose that moment to turn around. Duo hit Heero over his spiky head with awooden spoon. Bad move. <P>Wufei watched as Heero pulled an even bigger wooden spoon out of Spandex Space (tm: KnM). Heero then returned the 'love tap' and rendered the braided chef senseless with little chibi-Heeros-with-a-big-spoon floating above his head. Wu winced and called out the time, "Twenty minutes left!" <P>Duo awoke from his semi-stupor.He grabbed his stick of butter and melted it in a new pan. Since he had the stove set to 800 degrees (.:: uh-oh. He said he *knew* how to cook ::.), the butter nearly evaporated upon touching the pan. Grinning maniacally, Duo tossed two slices of bread into the pan. They hissed, and he threw them into the air, flipping them. They were browned perfectly, and he flipped them onto a plate. He slipped a peice of cheese between them and it melted into a soft, gooey mess. Wufei was impressed that Duo had made something thatturned out okay. <P> Trowa scoffed at Duo's showing off. Quatre patted him on the shoulder and he turned to keep an eye on the food. The timer on the oven rang, and Trowa removed his bread-type thing (.:: he put it in at the beginning, remember? ::.) from the oven. Quatre put more grated cheese on it, along with spices that he had pilphered from Wu's spice rack. Then, he put it back into theoven. <P>Wufei frowned a bit, wondering if there would be enough food for the five of them. So far, there was only a pan of rice, a loaf of bread, one sandwich, and a pan of scrambled eggs for all of them to share. He knew that he, for one, wouldn't touch any of it, and they had used all of the groceries. He folded his arms over his chest and called out, "Ten minutes!" <P>Duo grabbed some animal crackers and arranged them on a plate, trying to make them look nice. He then took the plate as far away from Heero as the space in the kitchen allowed. Heero glared at him. <P> Trowa, meanwhile, was creating his dessert, as well. He mixed a great deal of cocoa mix with just a bit of milk, creating a thick paste. He then took a small paintbrush that he had gotten from Quatre and dipped it in. Quatre was busy picking out his favorite animals. He handed Trowa a handful of camels and lions. Trowa delicately painted them with the chocolate. <P>Quatre set the finished crackers on a plain white plate. He and Trowa frowned. Finally, Quatre shooed Trowa off to pay more attention to the bread while he solved the problem. Quatre delicately painted on the plate, writing in Arabic. 'Wishes of peace and great fortune, ' he wrote in a flowing script. Then he painted a dove on the plate. Trowa leaned over hisshoulder and smiled softly. <P>Wufei checked the clock again."Ten seconds." <P> Duo neatly sliced the sandwich, the only dish he successfully completed, into five even sections."Nine." <P>Trowa cut the loaf of bread, which wasn't verylarge, into slices."Eight." <P>Heero eyed Trowa's animal crackers with ahungry eye."Seven." <P>Quatre waggled an admonishing finger at thepilot of the Wing Mecha."Six." <P>Wufei rolled his eyes at Heero. Those cookies looked to be the only thing edible in the room, and he'd be damned if he'd let Heero eat them all!"Five." <P>Duo glanced, worried, at Trowa's side, full ofprepared dishes."Four." <P> Heero helped Duo set his one dish on the counter."Three." <P>Quatre danced from foot to foot in anticipation."One." <P>Trowa paused in his preperations to look up atWufei. "Time's up. Now we have to, " Wufei grimaced, "tastethem all." <P>Trowa and Heero carried all of the dishes to the table. Quatre set the table around them. Wufei retrieved silverware and napkins for each of them. Duo served the food on two plates per person--one for Trowa's food, onefor his own. <P>They all sat down and prepared to eat Duo's sandwich. Quatre murmured something with the word 'Allah' suspiciously frequent. Trowa crossed himself three or four times. Wufei whispered something about being with Nataku soon. Heero snickered at the other pilots before replying, "Life comes cheap, especially mine." <P>Duo gave him a half-hearted glare before lifting his pice up. "You only live once!" <P> "Was that supposed to be reassuring?" Wufeisardonically asked. <P> "It didn't work, " Trowa muttered. <P>Duo took a big bite of the sandwich. "Yosh! It'sgood!" <P> Quatre cracked an eye at him. "I don't know. I'll wait a few minutes, and if you start convulsing, I'm not going anywhere near it." <P>Hesitantly, Trowa took a tiny bite. He nodded in confirmation that it was indeed edible. Quatre and Heero nibbled theirs. Heero seemed satisfied with it,but Quatre made a face. <P>"It's a bit raw inside, as if you found some way to cook it in seconds and didn't bother with the inside, " he said, pulling his piece apart. The melted cheese stuck to one slice of bread, revealing the white, uncooked quality of the bread inside. <P>"It's alright. It's pretty hard to mess up a grilled cheese sandwich, " Wu put the sandwich backonto his plate. <P>Next, they tried Trowa's rice. Quatre bit in and smiled. "It tastes just like what I eat at home!" he beamed at his koibito. He promptly ate all the riceon his plate. <P>Trowa slowly ate his, watching the little blonde eat. Duo dug in. "I like it, Tro-man!" he saidcheerfully. <P>Wu scowled. "This coming from the guy who'll eat anything." He took a tiny bite of the rice. It was alright, but not quite his cup of tea. "It's fine. I prefer unflavored, though, " he told the boy withstrange bangs. <P>Heero was silently eating his own, but nodded at Wufei's comment. Trowa shrugged. <P>Then they went on to the bread. Duo nearly ate his slice in one bite. "Yum! I like this!" he declared. <P>Quatre bit a tiny piece off before blushing and pushing it away. "I'm sorry, To-chan. I just don't like it. You did an excellent job for the amount of time you had, though." He looked like he was going to cry. Trowa reassuringly patted hishand and he cheered up. <P>Heero quickly ate his own slice and grabbed for Quatre's. Wufei scowled. "You got these spices from me, Winner, " he said accusingly. Quatre blushed. Trowa glared at Wu. Sighing, Wu ate his own. "At least you thought of it, " he admitted. <P>Trowa took a bite of it and almost smiled. It tasted very close to the way Catherine's did, whenshe made it. <P>Then they moved to the scrambled eggs. Trowa bit in and ate silently, as usual. Duo ate his quickly, again, and congratulated Trowa on them. Quatre ate quietly, picking the lunchmeat out carefully. Wufei poked at his, eating only the meat out of it. Heerosimply ate all of it. <P>"I don't like the meat, " Quatre admitted. <P>"I don't like the egg, " Wufei responded. <P>"I liked it all, " Duo grinned and pointed toHeero. "And he did, too!" <P>Trowa nodded and handed Wufei Quatre's leftover meat, exchanging it for Wu's leftover egg. Quatre smiled again and Wufei snorted. <P>Lastly, they moved on to desert. The two plates were set out in the middle of the table. Heero nearly jumped across it, trying to get to the cookies. Quatre giggled and grabbed a camel and lion. They had both been intricately painted with cocoa mix. Heero grabbed a handful, regardless of whichever plate they were from. <P>Duo marveled at the intricate painting of the cookies. "These are too pretty to eat!" he announced. Heero tried to snatch them away. "No! Who would have thought that the perfect soldier had a cookie fetish?" Duo snickered and tried to protect his plate. <P>Quatre looked like a five-year-old, playing with his cookies. He set them up, side by side, so tht it looked as though they were real, small, chocolate-covered animals. He walked them around on his plate. Trowa coughed, trying to hide his smile. Quatre was so cute sometimes! <P>Quatre blushed and smiled sunnily. "They're pretty! And I like chocolate!" He looked back down at his plate and continued to play. <P>Wufei chuckled at him and ate another of Duo's cookies. "I don't like chocolate, " he reasoned,eating another one. <P>Duo's eyes grew to the size of half-dollars. "Really, Wuffie? How can you not like chocolate? I didn't think it was physically possible!" Wu growled. <P> "Baka, " Heero pulled Duo's braid firmly. <P> When everyone was through eating, Wufei stood up. "It's time to vote, " he said. "All in favor of Duo cooking from now on, say 'aye'. " <P>.::crickets::. <P>"All in favor of Trowa remaining the chefdu'jour, say 'aye'. " <P>"Aye!" <P>"Aye!" <P>"Aye!" <P>"AYE!" Wufei resounded. "It's unanimous. Duo cooks like Tendou Akane, " he snickered. <P>"What?! That wasn't what we were voting on!"Duo protested. <P>"So? It's true!" Heero smiled maniacaly. <P>"You shouldn't be cooing at all, Duo-chan, "Quatre giggled. <P>"So, who's cooking against Trowa tomorrow?"Duo asked innocently. <P>"No more cooking battles!" Heero snapped. <P>"Ah, well, " Trowa shrugged. <P>"But we don't really know that he's the bestof all of us!" Duo cried. <P>"You know, he has a point . . . " Quatrereplied evenly. <P>~owari~<P>The End?<P>Feel free to write a sequel! Send me a copy! 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