Then finally� "Q-Quatre?!" The infant, bundled in the sheets, responded with the same smile that his fifteen-year-old counterpart had. Reaching forward, with a shaky hand, he gently touched the baby�s hair. "Quatre?" Trowa seemed to calm down, but then suddenly gathered the child into his arms and raced down the hall, yelling, "HEERO!!!"

Less than five minutes later, all the lights in the safe house flicked on and three screams echoed through the woods. "WHAT?!?!"

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Four boys stood in the bedroom, three had sheets wrapped around their otherwise nude bodies and the fourth was glowering under black eyebrows. Trowa carefully held Quatre-Chan in his arms as he looked from one pilot to another. "This is just great! Now what do we do?" Duo asked.

Heero simply shrugged and replied, "We tell his family."

Wufei�s dark eyes bugged out and he shrilled, "Have you lost it, Yuy? They�re gonna castrate us!" The high screech startled Quatre-Chan, who began to cry.

The four remaining pilots froze. Heero, Wufei, and Trowa all exchanged blank stares and Duo felt like screaming in frustration; how in the seven levels of hell could he be stuck in a house in the middle of nowhere with three experienced pilots who were otherwise useless?! God Almighty take pity on these poor demented souls� (yes, mine too) ^^;;;

The American pilot snatched the wailing child from Trowa and rocked Quatre-Chan in his arms, occasionally muttering a curse under his breath. When the baby stopped, he set him back into the French boy�s arms, saying, "*I�m* not gonna be his babysitter."

"Then it�s settled. Barton takes care of Winner until we can him back to normal." With that, the three filed out of Trowa�s room. Just before going back to their bedroom, Duo stuck his head in and chirped, "Looks like you got some shopping to do tomorrow, Tro!" He was promptly hit with a flying pillow.

When he was certain that he was alone, Trowa glanced down at the child. Quatre-Chan grinned up at him and tugged at the sheets. Smiling slightly despite their predicament, he bent down and kissed the blond locks. At least one of them knew how to care for a baby, so how hard could it be?

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Tired green eyes searched the shelves as Trowa struggled to keep hold of both Quatre-Chan and the shopping cart. The baby apparently didn�t like being separated from his guardian, as he had put up a fuss the moment he was set in the cart; as a result, Trowa had to carry him. "Let�s see� diapers, check� clothing, check� baby formula, check� bottles, check� highchair and babyseat, check�"

An hour later, back at the safe house, Trowa was standing over Quatre-Chan, trying to figure out how to put a diaper on him. Putting one hand up to his mouth, he took a deep breath and yelled, "DUO!!!" The American stomped in, fuming like a storm cloud. "For God�s sake, can�t you just give the kid a freakin� bath?!"

After putting up with Duo�s ranting and being thoroughly shown how to care for a baby, Trowa shifted the baby into his arms. Quatre-Chan immediately grabbed for the wonderfully long bangs. Cursing mildly, Trowa dug through his trunk and pulled out a small lion plushy he had secretly kept as a child. Quatre-Chan quickly forgot about his guardian�s hair, and clutched the toy tightly.

"Do you like it?" Trowa asked softly, a smile touching his lips. The child giggled and cooed happily. Kissing the soft hair, he whispered, "I liked it too."

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The floorboards creaked as Trowa walked through the hall. In his arms, Quatre-Chan yawned sleepily, full of warm milk. The French pilot flicked on the light and changed out of his usual jeans and turtleneck. He then dressed Quatre-Chan and settled into bed. Tiny little fingers grasped his bang and the baby fell asleep almost instantly.

Trowa, however, spent three hours trying to gently pry the baby�s deathgrip from his bang.

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Birds chirped and sang that morning as Quatre-Chan opened his big blue eyes. The little cherub face looked from his guardian, to the window, then back to Trowa. Chubby hands wrapped around the long bangs, gave a sharp tug, and Trowa woke up with a shriek.

After managing to get Quatre-Chan to let go of his hair, Trowa dressed them and trooped downstairs. The others were already there, looking at Heero�s laptop. "Mission?" Trowa asked, reaching for a bottle on the counter. "Be ready to leave in two hours, Barton."

The French pilot raised a dark eyebrow and asked, "What about Quatre? He can�t exactly come with us." Heero snorted and shrugged. "Duo, call Hilde and ask her to baby-sit." The American picked up the phone, dialed some numbers, and said, "Hilde? Hey, it�s Duo. Listen, I�m just wondering if you could baby-sit- no, I�ve never- but- please?- okay, okay, bye. Jeez�" Putting the phone down, he shrugged and said, "We need someone else."

The Japanese pilot arched an eyebrow and nodded to Wufei. "What about Sally?"

"Uh�" The Chinese boy twitched and grumbled something along the lines of, "I don�t know where she is."

A vein throbbing ever so slightly on his forehead, Heero then turned to Trowa and asked, "Can Catherine watch him?"

The French pilot wordlessly picked up the phone, dialed, and waited for his sister to answer. "Hello, Catherine? Could you- huh? Oh� uh� bye." Lions� roars could be heard on the other line as he hung up. He shook his head and replied, "No luck."

Duo chewed on his lip and said slowly, "There is someone else�"

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"I can�t believe we have to sink so low." Heero muttered as he drove to Relena�s palace in the Cinq Kingdom.

"No one else could watch him." Wufei said from the back. The Japanese pilot pulled up and the four boys walked up the steps. But before they could ring the bell, Relena Peacecraft, the Queen of the World, opened the door.

Dressed from head to toe in pink and ruffles, she beamed and snatched Quatre-Chan out of a stunned Trowa�s arms, yammering, "Why, Heero-kun, I�d lo~ove to watch Quatre�s niece for him. B~y~eee!" The door slammed shut and the four were left blinking in the dust.

"Ninmu kanryou."

"Shut up, Yuy."

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Six long hours later, Heero, Duo, Trowa, and Wufei, all covered in dirt, blood, and ash of various origin- *cough*Heeroself-destructed*cough*- pulled up in what used to be a car that now looked slightly more than a product of Duo�s cooking.

When no one answered the door, the pilots quietly stepped in through the door, which had been stupidly left unlocked. They approached a room and Duo gasped and promptly ran outside� to crack up like a total lunatic.

Still in her pink dress, Relena was sprawled out on the floor and snoring fit to rival Duo, surrounded by ten teacups. It was quite obvious that she had been just a tad bit too high on tea. Quatre-Chan, wearing a lacy pink dress, hair ribbon, and shoes, sat on her stomach, sucking on a lock of wheat blonde hair.

Trowa crossed the room, scooped the baby up in his arms, and ran out to join Duo, snorting with laughter all the way. Not long after, hysterical laughter could be heard echoing for miles.

Once they finally calmed down and Duo stopped hyperventilating, they started for home. Trowa took off Quatre-Chan�s shoes and dress, but couldn�t bring himself to take out the pink ribbon nestled in his blond curls. The child yawned and snuggled close, grasping a handful of turtleneck as he did. A smile found its way onto the quiet youth�s face, the sensation strange and unfamiliar; he rarely smiled, not even for Quatre.

Slender fingers patted the fuzzy gold locks and the smile widened. From the road, a certain black haired, fox-eared goddess watched. All of a sudden, she raised her fists into the air and crowed, "YES!!!!! HE FINALLY SMILED!!!!"

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Because Duo was adamant about not helping Trowa, said pilot was forced to figure out how to get Quatre-Chan into his sleeper. After three attempts, all of which involving the baby getting tangled up in both pink ribbon and nightie, Trowa threw the goddamned sleeper on the floor. "Forget it," He muttered, unusually cranky, "He�ll just have to sleep in his diaper."

"NO WAY IN HELL, BARTON!!!" Duo yelled from his room.

"Fine, fine, I�ll just have to use something else then." Trowa ended up dressing Quatre in one of his turtlenecks. Grinning smugly, he got into bed.

Quatre-Chan smiled and gurgled, "Twowa," The exterior of the French pilot showed no reaction, but on the inside, a Chibi Trowa jumped up and down and glomped onto Chibi LiLi, shrieking, "HE SAID MY NAME, HE SAID MY NAME!!!!"

Unfortunately, the warm, fuzzy feeling didn�t quite make it to the outside; rather, it sizzled out and lost all its fuzziness halfway through its journey.

Elsewhere, namely from down the hall, "Jeezus, Hee-koi, you think the guy could at least figure out how to dress the poor kid. OH GAWD, YEAH BABY!!!"

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"No missions?"

"No missions."

"Are you sure?"

*sigh* "Yes, I�m sure, Maxwell."

"� Can you just check one more time?"

"I already checked it."

"� Wanna play Truth or Dare?"

"I�d rather eat your cooking."

Duo threw up his hands and stalked out of the kitchen. "Fine, fine, I�ll just play with Quatre-Chan."

The child in question was sitting on the rug in the living room, holding the lion plushy in his chubby hands. "Hey, Q-Chan! Where�s Trowa?" He was answered with a bright smile.

"Twowa," The baby cooed, pointing to a discernible lump on the couch. Quatre-Chan looked up and giggled at Duo�s purple face. "Doo funny."

"BARTON!!!!!!"

Heero and Wufei dashed in to find Trowa cringing in the corner. Duo stood over him, his chest heaving in and out as he screeched, "HOW THE *BEEP* CAN YOU JUST SLEEP AND LEAVE THE KID BY HIMSELF?!?! ARE YOU GUYS THAT *BEEP* INCOMPETANT?!?!"

While Duo was busy ranting in a way suspiciously familiar to Wufei�s, the Japanese boy stalked out of the room and returned with a roll of masking tape. After five minutes, (Yes, Trowa was timing this) of cursing and banging, a large cocoon of masking tape with a braid sticking out at the end (2) lay twitching on the floor.

Wufei prodded it with his katana and asked, "Is he dead?"

There was a nasal snort and, "No, just subdued."

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Duo glared at his lover while peeling away one last strip of masking tape. Face and arms devoid of any hair whatsoever, the same applying to his now lint-free clothes, he was still pissed, though he wasn�t quite sure just *whom* he was pissed at. After taking it into consideration, Maxwell decided that he would just have to bug all three of the stony trio to get the best results of revenge.

Trowa, having none of it, retreated to his room with Quatre-Chan and a bottle. While sounds of screaming, cussing, and the occasional sound of a lamp flying out the window and hitting the next-door neighbor�s cat erupted from downstairs, the French pilot sat quietly on his bed, feeding the baby.

Quatre-Chan suckled on the rubber nipple, the only noise in the room. Trowa�s brow furrowed when he saw the child clearly didn�t want any more, judging by the way he kept turning his blond head away. The bottle wasn�t even half-empty, but the brown haired pilot simply shrugged and set it on the nightstand.

Setting Quatre-Chan in a nest of rumpled blankets, he stood up and went down to receive his share of ranting. The baby shivered in his warm little nest, whimpering softly. Chubby arms wrapped around the lion plushy, searching for his guardian.

Meanwhile�

"-AND IF I EVER SEE YOU *NEAR* A ROLL OF MASKING TAPE, I�LL-"

*beep* *beep*

"Duo, Trowa, you�ve got missions."

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"Did you check on Quatre?" Heero looked up at the Chinese boy and shook his head. "I�ll do that right now." His yellow sneakers made soft shuffling noises as he made his way up the stairs.

He peeked in, then went over to the blond bundle. Something felt wrong; his suspicions were confirmed when he touched the baby�s forehead. Quatre was warm, too warm. The child whimpered and squirmed feverishly. Gathering Quatre-Chan into his arms, the cobalt-eyed pilot rushed downstairs.

Wufei looked up and asked, "Should I call the hospital?"

"Don�t bother, we�re leaving right now."

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The middle-aged woman was clearly fighting not to cower under both pilots� scathing glares. "He�ll be fine, Mr. Yuy. But I�d like to keep him here to make sure nothing goes wrong."

Wufei looked past her to the door marked Pediatrics. "Could we see him?"

"Yes, of course." Rather flustered, the doctor turned and walked down the hall.

Two sets of eyes blinked stupidly before Wufei said, "I�ll go back and wait for the others."

"I�ll stay."

The little room had only a table and a bed. It smelled strongly of antiseptic and peroxide, a noxious combination. Quatre-Chan was fast asleep, wrapped tightly in the white sheets. A tiny IV ran from his chubby wrist. Callused hands were unnaturally gentle as they stroked the blond wisps.

To his surprise, the baby grasped Heero�s finger and mumbled, "Twowa�"

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"Hey, Tro! That was some mission, huh?" Trowa, for his part, remained silent as they walked up to the quiet house. The only one to greet them was a grim faced Wufei.

"Hey Wu, where�s Heero and Quatre?"

"At the hospital." At the mention of that, Duo turned to Trowa with a strange look.

"Why? What�s wrong?"

"Quatre came down with something."

//So that explains his lack of appetite�//

"I knew it!" Duo hissed, wheeling in on Trowa. The French pilot looked over the fuming boy�s shoulder and asked, "Is he okay?"

"Go see for yourself." No help there.

"Damn you!" Duo�s fist narrowly missed his head. His violet eyes were almost black with rage as he let out a string of curses. "Just how the hell can you just stand there so goddamned frickin� calm?! What kind of lover are you?!" The words stung, but the American boy was right; Trowa gave him credit for that. Maybe he wasn�t the perfect babysitter, who was? But� maybe he hadn�t been as caring as he should�ve been.

His thoughts drifted back to the night all the chaos had started. Inside his trigger-happy mind, the Chibi LiLi was beating the Chibi Trowa over the head with a bat, screaming, "BE NICE, YOU INSENSITIVE LITTLE BASTARD!!!"

He was brought back to reality when Duo grabbed his hand and dragged him out the door muttering, "Stupid pilots� Completely useless�"

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Prussian eyes snapped up when two of his fellow pilots came in. Heero met Duo�s poisonous glare unflinchingly and stated flatly, "He�s fine. They just want to make sure he�s okay." Duo visibly deflated and flopped into a chair.

Violet eyes blinked up at him and Duo asked, "How long have you been here?"

The Japanese boy shrugged. "For a couple of hours, I guess."

"In that case," Duo grinned and grabbed Heero by his tank top. "Show me the bathroom."

Smiling at the two as they made their exit, Trowa sat by Quatre-Chan�s bed, gripping the tiny hand in his. Big blue eyes opened and the little pink lips curved up in an angelic smile.

"Twowa," The baby gurgled, "Ah she-woo, Twowa."

Blinking back tears, Trowa kissed Quatre-Chan�s forehead and whispered, "I love you, too."

"Excuse me, sir?" A young nurse with dark red hair and violet eyes stood in the doorway, holding a bottle in one hand. She had a striking resemblance to Catherine. Trowa squinted at the nametag pinned onto her uniform; her name was Kathy. Strange coincidence, really.

Kathy lifted Quatre-Chan out of his bed and started to feed him. She turned and gave Trowa a smile identical to his sister�s. "You have an adorable son, sir."

Trowa turned red. She thought Quatre was his- son?! Well, it was flattering in a way�

"So, is your wife here, too?"

Feeling his cheeks get hotter, Trowa shook his head. He remained miserably mute until Kathy finished her job and left.

He stroked Quatre-Chan�s rosebud lips, marveling at the baby�s smile. "I promise I�ll make it up to you, somehow. I should�ve paid more attention to you, Little One." Quatre-Chan blinked and stuck a chubby finger in his mouth. Suddenly, he withdrew his finger and pointed at a rumpled looking Duo in the hallway. "Doo!"

"Yep, it�s Uncle Doo." Duo sat down and ruffled the wispy blond hair. Turning slightly pink, the American pilot turned to Trowa and mumbled, "Sorry about what I said earlier. Wasn�t thinking and-"

"No, you were right." The brown haired boy replied, "He was my responsibility, even before this happened. I guess I didn�t realize it until now."

The whole time, Quatre-Chan was looking around the room, taking in his surroundings with wide eyes. Trowa�s slender hand rested on the blond head, stroking his forehead. As the older boys� voices droned on, the baby slept peacefully.

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Back at home�

*suckle* *suckle* *blink*

Duo stared cross-eyed at Quatre-Chan, whose mouth was occupied by the tip of his braid. Shrugging, he looked up at his cobalt-eyed lover and said, "He doesn�t talk much when he�s got something to do, ne Hee-Chan?"

"He�s got something else to do now." Trowa stood in the doorway, waving a bottle in Duo�s face. Braid still in his mouth, Quatre held his arms out to Trowa and let himself be picked up. Duo watched, but suddenly let out an indignant squawk as Quatre-Chan dragged him across the room by his braid.

"OW!!! HEE-KOI, HELP!!! NO, DON�T USE YOUR GUN!!!"

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Nestled in the crook of his arm, Quatre-Chan sucked on the bottle, obviously hungry after his brief stay in the hospital. Trowa hummed softly, hoping to get the hyperactive baby to sleep before another burst of energy kicked in. Bending so close their foreheads touched, Trowa kissed the tip of Quatre-Chan�s nose and whispered, "I love you."

"Trowa?" The French pilot did a double take and saw that a full-grown Quatre Raberba Winner was sitting in his lap.

Composing himself, the brown haired youth took in the tousled blond hair, the innocent blue eyes, and the clothes that had been shredded to rags in the process of Quatre�s transformation. And Trowa hadn�t been able to get any for a good two weeks.

He smiled evilly and growled, "Did you know that you look so goddamned sexy, right now?"

Quatre raised a pale eyebrow and tried to get off his lover�s lap and groping hands. "Trowa? What�s- Ooohh�"

Outside the window, LiLi smiled, flashing her fangs as she did so and chirped, "Ninmu kanryou!"

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^_^ V EMAIL!!!~ Standard disclaimers apply and I�d like some feedback thank you very much!!!

(2) The braid cocoon came from Nature Calls III: Call of the Wild