"'Cuse me, can I jump in front of you?"
Alright, let me form a picture in your mind, I have a 20 oz Coke in my hand, JUST ONE, and I turn around to answer the person. She has this HUGE friggin cart of groceries and two little kids are hiding out near her legs and there's another parasite sitting in the little basket of the grocery cart. WTF?! Her minature monsters on the ground momentarily stop causing destruction and look at me with puppy dog eyes like their mother taught them to do this on cue. The 'thing' in the basket does nothing...obviously it isn't old enough for it's mother to teach it BLACKMAIL. Drool runs down its chin and hits the pool forming on the front of its shirt and I can smell dirty diapers and wet naps. The pollution is almost like a cloud of nerve gas hovering over the entire cart. Military grade NERVE GAS, people. Hmm, what am I going to do? That sentence is obviously for irony seeing that I knew the answer to that question even before I turned around.
So I say to her, in the nicest way possible,
"No."
Add a fake little smile on the end for flair. How much of an idiot did that woman think I was to let her childbearing ass in front of me when I only had one 20 oz Coke? Even with the theatrics it wasn't believable...b.s. like I would give a shit whether her kids gave me the puppy dog eyes...DOESN'T MATTER...I would've said no anyways. If the woman really wanted to do it right she would've said,
"Cuse me, if you let me in front of you, I promise I won't blemish the face of this world again with these circus acts I call children. By the way, I will donate them for scientific research projects."
I would've stepped out of the way IMMEDIATELY. Screw the Coke, save the world.