I Don't Want You To Want Me

Chapter 2: Darkness

By: Joryuu

//This could be the night, the only night
There’s something you should know//

Duo heard the soft knocking at the door. He hadn’t expected Heero so early. Maybe he was closer than he’d let on.The braided boy rushed to the door and swung it open to see who he already knew was coming. Heero stared straight at Duo until he moved aside to let the darker haired boy in. Duo frowned at noticing the few mostly hidden scars on Heero’s face. There was one, the largest, on his cheek, one above his eyebrow and another on his chin. Duo had never seen them before. Heero must have gotten them during their last battle. They didn’t hinder his attractiveness though. He was actually more appealing with them than without. It showed hisdedication.

Heero walked into the living room and sat down on the navy blue love seat. Duo sat across from him on the matching lazy boy (tm) chair. “So Heero, how have you been?”

“Well, I’ve been stuck in the ICU at some super fancy hospital, getting a bunch of drugs that I didn’t need, having a psychotic person who’s stalked me for the past two years there everyday to bother me, I don’t know how I’ve been. You tell me.” Heero replied sarcastically. There was a hint of feeling in his straight monotone.

“Seems to me that you’ve had a worse life after the war than I have.” Duo smirked. It was true though.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Heero, you know how I feel. You knew even during the war. But you would never let me get even the least bit close to you. I know it was because you didn’t want me to hurt if something happened to you. But the truth is, I was still hurt. It hurt real bad thinkin’ that you’d gone and died on me, man. I missed you. Even if you are completely anti-social and dark... That didn’t stop me from falling for you did it?” Duo asked, looking over to the other boy.

“I guess it didn’t”

“Heero, now that the war is over...can we be together? There’s nothing stopping us anymore.” Duo mentioned, looking straight into Heero’s eyes. Heero shook his head. Duo gave him a hurt look.

“You just don’t get it do you?” Heero asked. Looking away from the braided boy. “No Duo we can’t... I’ll just hurt you and that’s not something I want to do to you. I’d hate to hurt you Duo...”

“Don’t you understand how much it hurts all ready knowing that you still won’t let me get close to you? How many sleepless nights I’ve spent thinking of you?” Duo said harshly. “Heero, you don’t know what I’ve been through just thinking that you’re dead! I almost didn’t make it through that! I almost joined you but Life Goes On doesn’t it? It was hard but I made it through. When you called me tonight, it was just like a miracle. You’re still alive. I still want you by my side but since you won’t.... I just don’t know anymore...I just don’t know...”Duo let his gaze meet the floor. He didn’t want to look at Heero anymore. He didn’t want to know that Heero was alive. He didn’t want Heero in his living room. He just wanted this evening to end.

“Duo...”

“No Heero. Don’t say anything. Just don’t ok?”

“Ok... Duo...”

“Don’t.” Duo enforced. He was tired of hearing excuses.

“DUO! Just listen to me!” Heero yells as his temper had lost the few strings holding it down. Duo had to listen to him. “This is what I came to tell you. I can’t be with you. I can’t be with anyone! I still don’t know how to deal with that type of emotion! I really want to be with you Duo but I can’t!” Heero yelled. Duo looked up at him sympathetically. He actually hadn’t considered Heero’s feelings in this whole mess.

“Heero, just give me a chance! I can help you through this! I’ll be as understanding as I possibly can! I just can’t let this chance slip through my fingers again. I can’t let you get away...”

“Duo...”

“Heero please!”

“I can’t.....”

“Yes you can! I can help you through it. I’ll be everything you need... Just give me one chance! I’ll prove myself. Please!” Duo was pouring his heart out to the other boy, hoping that this time wouldn’t result the same way it had the last time. Heero had walked out on him. Out of his life for three hard years. Duo couldn’t deal with that again.

“No! Duo I can’t! I have to come to terms with myself before I can even think of having a relationship. Please try to understand that. Right now I just need a friend. Can you be that?” Heero asked. He looked at Duo’s hair, because Duo was still staring at the floor. “Can you?”

“Yes. I’ll be anything you want. Heero, it’s late. You got anywhere to stay tonight?” Duo asked. Heero shook his head. He never was one to talk when he didn’t need to. Duo sighed. “Want to stay here?”

“Either that or go back to Relena.” remarked Heero dryly.

“I’ll go and get the blankets for ya!” Duo said and dissapeared around the corner wall of the apartment.

//I don’t want you to want me
Cuz I’ll hurt you in the end//

Hey ‘vry one! Joryuu Here! I was just a writin’ to tell ya that for the fourth time in my life, I watched the third ep of gw! It was funny. Bye bye! Send me something!

Joryuu