Firebird

by Tyria

Chapter 5: He-he Sarcasm

Yah, it's short, and yah, it's stupid, and yah, This chicks hard to
understand, which means..... this chapter perfectly mirroirs the person this
charas modeled after! (And yah, I'm gonna get a very nasty e-mail for this,
AFTER her internet gets back on-line! Mwa ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!)
Just ignore me and read.

I sigh as I settle into the cold, leather chair of the mobile suit carrier.
Usually I get to brag over Shar about missions, but today, well...

I sigh again. This sucks! Her instructions: This country, this
state/province, this city and this address. Fairly precise, right? Check
mine: Somwhere in Japan, China, India or South-Eastern Russia. Oh, thanks.

Thank you so very much!

He-he, sarcasm.

Uh, slight warning I probably shoulda mentioned earlier; I am really,
really strange.

I betcha figured that all ready!

A voice comes in over the radio. =Lt. Colonel Marcia...= I stick out my
tongue in disgust at such a formal use of my last name. It's awful normally,
but it's even worse with a militaristic title.

Militaristic. That's a big word for me.

He-he, big.

"Yah, I'm here."

=... You are cleared for lift-off. Good luck.=

"Thanks!" I'll need it.

I lift off to travel to the Orient. Hey, I'm the new Orient express! I'm
easily distracted. Now what was I saying? Oh, yah. I lift off to travel to
the Orient in search of Pilot 05.

Once I've finally reached the shimmery Pacific ocean, a voice crackles in
over my comm. =Undine, Undine, do you copy. Undine, do you copy?=

"Yep, I copy, but only with a five percent tax."

=What?=

"Nuthin'"

=This is Farmer Brown. You're neede at pasture.=

"But I'm on my way to hatch chick 'N'!" Oh, is this conversation a bit
confusing? Too bad for you!

He he, Mean-ness.

=This is a side mission assigned. They need Undine at Pasture, East-end.=

"Roger tha, Farmer Brown. I'm on my way there. What's my clearence?"

=None needed, Undine. Farm-hand should be waiting.=

"Roger. Hey, say hi to Farmer Billy-Bob for me, k? Luv ya, over and
out-of-my-mind." Well that ends that. I change directions and direct my
carrier to the base I'm needed at.

'Farmer Brown' is the code name of the Commander. 'The pastur' is Victoria
BC base. 'Farm-Hand' is the captain there and Undine, well duh. That's me!
Duh. Didn't I say that before?

I'm easily distracted.

Now, you're probably thinkin' one of two things: first, if all these names
have to do with farming, why'd she get called Undine and second, what is
this girl on?

The answer to the second question is nothin', I'm naturally like this and
the answer to the first is something you can find out yourself...

I freeze. Cramped in tiny ventalition as I am, I listen. There must be a
guard outside the shaft. Damn. Well, how far could I have gotten without a
fight? Not as far as I'd like, that's for sure.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't LOVE smahing in the heads of
Ozies, but I'd like to keep the risk to a minimum. I'm too cute to die.

I reach forward and un-screw the cover, pulling it back silently. I flatten
it down in front of me and crawl to the edge. Directly below, in one of the
hats that make Ozies look more like bell-hops, then soldiers, IS a soldier.

I let my arm down out of the gap, then bring it up to bare against his
neck. I lift kim up, using my legs and one arm against the vent walls to
help me lift his weight without falling down into the hall.

I feel himspasm then stop moving all together. A bullet ricochets in the
room. I pull back my arm, allowing the corpse to slump to the ground.
There were two soldiers. Well, now there's one and I don't have the eliment
of surprise anymore.

I do, however, have two advantages. The vent, and the fact that Oz
soldiersboots make a lot of noise. I hear him walk carefully closer to the
shafts opening.

I try to draw my gun from its holster but there's not enough room in the
vent to get my arm down there. I bring my arm back in front with the other.
He gets into view and levels his gun at my forehead.

A split second before he finishes pulling back the trigger, I flick up the
grate to block the shot.

Everything seems to move slowly in my mind's eye: the soldier jolting back
sligtly from the pistols recoil, his eye's gleaming of expectant victory,
changing then to surprise and disbelief. The scene continues: the bullet
smashing hurtling forward, then smashing into the grate, forcing it back,
almost far enough to hit me anyway.

Then, in a direct opposite to earlier, everything speeds up to
fast-forward. Using my legs, I propel myself out the tunnel head first and
rollacross the floor, grate still in my hands.

The soldier is slow, and takes another futile shot into the grate behind me
before fully comprehending my movement

I stand up, bringing the grate up under the gun and, by twisting the metal,
knock the firearm flying from his grasp. Turning my twist into upward
momentum, the cover hits his chin, rending him unconcious.

I sigh. One dead, one probably (with a concussion). In and out; my mission.
Easier said than done. Espionage has always been Shar's thing, not mine.

A red light bulb overhead flashes on as the normal lights flash off. A
shrill alarm sounds. My fellow opeatives have done their job, no, to do
mine.

Time to go.

Well, there we have it, the introduction of Asmira Marcia, in a futile
attempt to further the supposed plot. SOMEBODY EMAIL ME!!!!! It's gotten to
the point were I get mailed when des arcanes is updated, and that's about
all. Or, when I tempt raleena and she's allowed on the computer _and_ her
internets working...... Swear to god, I get more days off in a month then i
do emails so pleeeaaase email me. I am down on my knees!!!!!! E-mail me or
I'm not typing anymore.