Derek Wong
Speech 381
Challenging Personality Types
There are many types of personalities that make dealing with people difficult. In lecture (video) we were presented with 7 different types: exploders, complainers, the clam, super agreeable, negativists, know-it-all, and indecisive stallers.
Exploders have a personality where if they do not get things their way, they will then erupt in a scene (similar to a temper tantrum) and do everything in their power to keep their stance. The best way to deal with these people is to let them to run down and cool off. Once cooled off, listen and talk to them in private to offer them concrete help to set realistic goals. Complainers are the type to whine about problems, but never propose solutions in order to look blameless and flawless. To deal with complainers, one should listen actively by acknowledging their complaints, be sure not to apologize or agree with what they are saying and to ask specific questions as to what the complainer would like to do about the situation. By making them a part of the problem solving process, such as by assigning them simple tasks, they will either comply or go to someone else to complain. The third type is the clam. These types of people are silent and unresponsive to what is being said possibly because they are unaware or confused or feel that if they do not say anything that they are free to sabotage the effort. To open up these types of people, it is best to ask open-ended questions, and to have a “friendly stare” so that they know you are serious and are awaiting a response. The fourth type is the Super Agreeable who will always agree with you and agree to the tasks at hand even when they know they are not capable of following through. To deal with these types of people, one should make the person feel personal acceptance and that regardless of the outcome they will be liked, since super agreeable tend to have a strong desire to be liked. Realistic goals and deadlines should be made and the person should feel good. Negativists are people who always turn down an idea with negative and critical comments. This may stem from the belief that they themselves have little or no control over their lives, or it may be because they feel that people in general can not be trusted. The best way to deal with these people is to acknowledge their valid points, come back with a positive statement, and discuss the worse-case scenario that way they can see the worse possibilities and prepare for them. Know-it-all is the sixth type and tends to have “the right answer” all the time. The best way to deal with them is to get them to consider different alternatives, paraphrase back what they said, ask questions, give a description of what you need and be sure to give them a way out if they are in wrong in private. Indecisive stallers are the last type and think that the problems will just go away by themselves. One will need to find out what is preventing them from speaking and should propose solutions to resolve their doubts but be sure not to pressure or confront them (that will lead them back into their shell).
Although this list is very thorough and contains most of the different types of personalities, there are still some personalities that it does not encompass. Some people have a mix or hybrid of these personalities, being that not everyone will stick to just one type, while others may have a completely different tactic. For example, one may use social pressures to get their way by trying to recruit more people to vote their way. In this way, the other party will feel pressured from not just one person, but from many others. Another personality type may try to use distorted listening in order to play the words being said so that they “hear” what they want. Each person is different and has the capability to adapt to each situation which makes it difficult to categorize and compile a complete list of personality types. However with the right guidelines and advice, dealing with any type of difficult personality may become effortless process.
In the video, advice for each personality was given. The advice given was thorough and had a good basis because in all of the scenarios described in the video, the first step was to listen to the speaker. Listening is paramount in almost everyday aspects and situations. When you are actively listen, you are communicating to the person that you are acknowledging their problems (what is being said), and are willing to work on a solution. Another strength of the video was its advice on always asking open-ended questions, such as “what do you hope to get out of this?” “What do you think of this? “Where would you like to see yourself in X amount of time?” These types of questions elicit responses from the other party, and try to involve the other part in the problem-solving process regardless of their personality types. One of the weaknesses of the video, however, is the fact that there were only 7 basic personality types discussed when they are more, perhaps a basic strategy on dealing with difficult people in general, or a thought process of how to determine which personality type the other person has, or how to deal with people who posses a multitude of difficult traits.
Overall, the video was helpful and informative in dealing with difficult personalities by providing effective and practical advice, such as listening, asking open questions, and being patient. This type of information is similar to what is being learned in lecture about what makes an effective communicator and how can one be a better communicator. This can be tied into the fact that an effective communicator makes an effective problem solver, and the characteristics of an effective communicator are comparable to the types of persons who can best deal with difficult people.