Kids' Funny Words
Got these from R.P. They are cute.
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A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the
offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped
up so that everyone could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under
five."
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A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his
cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the
Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
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After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to
his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and
I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."
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A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church
service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed
trash against us."
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A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him
the money now, will he let us go?"
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The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."
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A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand
on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below would
then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge
through. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became
ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new
actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and
the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of
tugging on the rope could make him descend. One student in the Balcony jumped
up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
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A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime
story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to
touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then
his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"