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Aloha--squaaauk! The first score for 2002 comes on February 24, when Hawaiian exotica lounge percussionist/birdcall artist Arthur Lyman makes his last macaw whoop. The Angel of Life is out of the game (as usual) and Mark K. leads off with the full 300 points.

Cancelled. On March 15 NBC executive Sylvester "Pat" Weaver, creator of the Today and Tonight shows and of Sigourney Weaver, is not renewed for another season. Marsha joins Mark K. with 300 points of her own.

Canned ham. Just a week later Mike joins the three-way tie for first place as former controversial Georgia governor, respected/disgraced senator, and later ham magnate Herman Talmadge hangs up revolver, campaign button, and curing pump.

"Three Graves to Cairo"--Miltie cries Uncle and no Moore. March 27th is quite the black day for celebrity. Legendary film director Billy Wilder loses the rest of his weekends; Mr. Television, comic legend Milton Berle, is switched off and the entertainment world is bereft of its greatest member; much-beloved actor Dudley Moore becomes decidedly Less. Marsha pulls ahead to 800 with the complete hat trick including the full 300 for Moore. Berle and Wilder were each picked by two other players; Keith, Rob, and Larry get on the board with 100 points apiece while Mike's 100 points put him in second place with 400.

Mum's the word. Just another three days and Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother finally leaves her nearly 76-year-old daughter and monarch as the senior member of the British royal family. Marsha moves up to 900 points, Larry doubles his score to 200, and Holly gets her first 100 points for 2002.

Bolivia and let die. After that busy March, April passes quietly. Then on May 5, former Bolivian President and former dictator Hugo Banzer Suarez suffers a violent coup of his heart. Mike closes in on Marsha's lead with the full 300 points.

Yes, we have no bananas. Six days later, former crime lord Joseph "Joe Bananas" Bonanno turns black after too many days in the Arizona sun. Mark K. scores the full 300 points, doubling his score and placing him soundly in third place behind Marsha and Mike.

Crack up. Three days later one of Australia's most respected comic and stage actresses, Ruth Cracknell, gets the gift of permanent pausation. The 300 points are enough for Mike to pass Marsha by 100 to a first-place score of 1000.

Dapper Don Done. Mike doubles his lead a month later on June 10 when Mafioso John Gotti's cancer makes him an offer he can't refuse. Keith and Mark K. also score 100 points each.

Final curtain. The next week, yet another obscure pick comes in for Mike and he now leads with 1400 points when great Broadway producer Robert Whitehead presents his final set piece.

Case closed. And on the 26th, Mike's lead climbs to 800 points over Marsha's second place score of 900 when technology financier Daniel Case's Internet bubble bursts.

Sunk. On July 4, Titanic survivor Winnifred Vera Quick VanTongerloo proves that although a woman's heart may be deep and mysterious like the ocean, now it's like the ocean without any heartbeat. Holly moves to fourth place with 400 points.

Splendid Splinter Splintered. Holly gains another 75 points the very next day when Red Sox legend and baseball's last .400 hitter Ted Williams grounds out, and his kids commence fighting over whether he Okayed them carving him up and selling his DNA. Rob, Marsha, and Mike also score 75 points apiece.

Beleaguered Balaguer. Then on the 14th former Dominican Republic strongman Joaquin Balaguer grows weak, hops into his Balaguermobile, and follows his cross-shaped beam of light into the netherworld. Mark K. takes all 300 points and slips into second place a mere 25 points ahead of Marsha.

Chosen for the last time. And on the 23rd prolific author Chaim Potok finds out whether Judaic mysticism is truly valid. He was Chosen only by Mike, whose ridiculous score climbs to 2075 points.

Bullet in the head. After two months of quiet, on September 18 Bob "Bullet" Hayes, once the fastest man alive, learns that you can't outrun kidney failure. As the only player not to dodge the "bullet," Mark K. earns another 300 points.

Dumbledead. Keith M. scores 300 points October 25 when Richard Harris leaves Peter O'Toole without a drinking buddy. Keith M. passes Holly to take over fourth place with 500 points.

Primetime Dead. Just past the November sweeps, the agony of defeat catches up with ABC exec Roone Arledge on December 5. Mike scores the full 300 giving him a humongous 2375 points. Mike's ratings remain huge as no one else dies this December, allowing him to celebrate the thrill of victory as the 2002 GAME OF DEATH WINNER!