Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Newbie:
Hello dear Sponsor, I have my amends list as we discussed last time, but I am unsure as to how to proceed - I feel a little daunted by all the names on it, to be honest!
Sponsor:
Well first of all, let’s remember the important proviso on this Step - we make amends as long as it doesn’t harm that person or anyone else. For we are not to harm others just to help ourselves! Let’s say for example that one has been gossiping about someone without them knowing - to go to them and apologise for it would probably be more hurtful than anything else! An appropriate amends there might be to not gossip in the future, and to say good things about the person behind their back.
Newbie:
Yes I can see that, though I might feel like some things I need to "get off my chest" I have no right to harm another to do so.
Sponsor:
Exactly - so, shall we start to go through your list? Start with the ones that are straightforward, maybe?
Newbie:
Yes dear Sponsor that would be good. Well for my sister June, I spoke hurtful things to her and excluded her, so my amends will be to apologise when I see her at our party at the end of the month.
Sponsor:
and do you know what you will say to her?
Newbie:
well yes, I will say " June.........
<later>
And then finally there is this cafe in Florida where I left without paying - I mean - it was many years ago on my only holiday there, and I can’t remember even the street it was on, much less the name! I have no idea how to contact them and it’s thousands of miles away, so I don’t see how I can find out.
Sponsor:
But you are willing to pay back the money?
Newbie:
Oh Yes!!
Sponsor:
Maybe you could find out from the internet if there is a local OA group there? or AA or another 12 step fellowship - someone that knows what we are about here they may be able to help you locate the restaurant.
Newbie:
Oh wow! would they do that?
Sponsor:
Well I would if I were approached, and I hope you would too! So it would be worth a try. And it is something that you can investigate, while doing the straightforward amends.
Newbie:
Yes dear sponsor - you know, this does all still seem daunting!
Sponsor:
I know dear one - but have faith in the process, and there are certain things that are promised to us if we follow the step 9 process. Maybe we can read them together? From Page 83
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realise that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Newbie:
Oh wow! Will those come true in my life?
Sponsor:
Yes dear one, as it goes on to say:
Are these extravagant promises? We think not.
They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialise if we work for them.