Exclusive REV Houseshow at the Southwest Washington Fairgrounds in Chehalis, Washington
To start this wonderful event off, Sam Saunders and Erico Bitchoff introduced themselves and all the wrestlers to be involved. While Sam thought it unecessary, Erico figured those backwater hicks in Chehalis probably didn't even have TVs. Both announcers then realized they had no clue where Chehalis even is. After a moment's discussion, the best the locals had to offer came out and introduced themselves. The fans really cheered for the hometown boys, and Erico commented how much of a disapointment they were in for, because not a single one of them looked like they had ever been in an actual ring. Sam agreed, and then commented about the how shoddy the ring to be used in tonight's matches was.
Bruce came out and made an announcment of his intentions for the card, and why even have it in a place like Chehalis. Basicaly, he wanted to give his wrestlers a good warm up to the US, as well as work off a little blood lust left over from Japan. He informed the wrestlers that they were in for blood and broken bones. None left, Erico said it was because they were all too stupid. Then it was time for the first match.
"Mr. Money" Todd Clayborne versus "Doctor" Derek Harwell.
To say that "The Doctor" showed any sort of wrestling style would be a lie. To say that Derek even knew what he was doing would also be a lie. Todd, on the other hand, did a wonderful job considering the conditions. He let the home town boy get in a few blows here and there, for the fan reaction, but mostly he took Derek from one side of the ring back to the other. After a few fancy top rope moves, Todd ended it all with his three signature moves and his finisher right in the row. Derek wasn't going anywhere after the Corprate Plunge, Money in the Bank, C-Note, and the Hostile Takeover.
Winner: "Mr. Money" Todd Clayborne via Pinfall in 10:39
Erico had a blast during the whole match, but was confused as to why Clayborne didn't go hardcore, since weapons are legal in the REV. Sam commented on how much fan hatred could build in a little town like Chehalis, and Erico responded by pointing out how the rest of the country would thank them. Just then boos sounded as "Bastardly" Brad Amrine came to the ring.
"Bastardly" Brad Amrine versus Travis Andres
Though Travis showed a bit more style than Derek, and a hell of a lot more endurance, Brad didn't spare him like Todd did. "The Bastard" came out with a steel chair and used it till the chair was unusable. Then he ripped a plank from the ring and hit Travis with that. By now, it was obvious Travis was done for, but Brad still pulled him outside the ring and hit the Prematurely Concieved twice onto the hard floor before getting the easy pin.
Winner: "Bastardly" Brad Amrine via Pinfall in 2:45
Erico loved that match to death. The show was delayed for a few minutes as medics came out and drug the bloody Travis away. Discussion turned to how much blood a man can lose before dying, and then to the contravercy of the afterlife, before the show finally got going again. Sam announced it was the Whirlybirdz's turn in the ring.
The Whirlybirdz versus Winn Hornquist and Dustin Larson
Winn and Wendy took the ring first, since Winn is probably the only person around that weighs less than Wendy. Though Wendy wanted to put on a good fight, Winn kept running away. Finally Wendy cornered him, and reluctantly hit a powerbomb. Winn immedately cried that he wanted to submit. After a short argument with the ref, Dustin was allowed in the ring to replace him. Dustin showed a bit more bravery, but quickly fell to Wendy's flashy flying moves. Wendy tagged Twister in once so he could get a few licks, but he was more than happy to tag back out and let Wendy run the show. Soon, Dustin tired out beyond use, and Wendy tangled him up in an octopus stretch.
Winner: Wendy Briese via Submission in 8:32
Erico pretended to be asleep as the match wound down to completion, and didn't answer Sam as Dustin was carted off. Eventually, Sam gave him a slap or two, and then Erico threatened to sue. The fact that neither of them could find a lawyer worth a damn within 30 miles extinguished that idea, so they just talked about the next match.
The J-C Mafia and Kandee versus William Allen, Vern Keech, and Caleb Walkter
Now this was a good fight. While none of the hometown boys brought talent, Willam brought strength, Vern brought tenacity, and Caleb brought witty comebacks. If nothing else, the crowd loved the classic good versus evil comic book back-and-forth one-liners. Still, the J-C Mafia and their stablemate took it too them. Before long it was a three on three brawl, which William, Caleb, and Vern were losing. Surprisingly, it was them who turned to the darkside and grabbed weapons first, but the J-C Mafia and especially Kandee delt with it well, disarming their opponents and turning the weapons on them. It wasn't long after before they each hit their finishers, and the J-C Mafia waited while the ref counted Kandee's pin.
Winner: Kandee via Pinfall in 18:22
Sam commented how that was the best match of the night. Erico disagreed and pointed back to Brad's match. Sam replied that there were still two matches to go, and on went the show.
"Superstar" Allan Reed versus Nick Ebel
A short match, due to weapons used by both sides. Nick came in with brass knuckles, which he really didn't know how to use. Reed came in with a lead pipe and Ashpu, both he new how to use rather well. It was an old fashioned beat down that left Nick with at least one broken limb, if not two or three.
Winner: "Superstar" Allan Reed in 2:39
Sam was surprised that Allan had the shortest match of the night even though the Revolution Champion was in on the card. Erico pointed out that Reed was currently holding the belt. Sam replied that the belt didn't matter, and Reed did have help from Ashpu. Erico denied the whole thing and started singing "Cotoneye Joe" by The Rednex, blocking out Sam until the next match.
Chris Bevel versus "The Hardcore-BadBoy" Tim Kelly
Bruce decided that a show of power was necessary, and put Chris Bevel to the test against the best Chehalis had to offer. Tim put up a hell of a fight. Bevel choke slammed him at least three times, and administered the Blissful Ignorance before Kelly would stay down. The ref counted... but only got a two? Kelly shove Bevel off with blood running down his face and danced around like a crazy person, stripping for the crowd. Bevel didn't know what to do as Kelly screamed, dressed in only his boxers. Then someone slipped Kelly a Singapore Cane. Bevel didn't even see it coming. Tim had to have some experience before, because he welded that cane like a master. The cane shattered down to the handle and slivers were inbeded in both competitors before Tim finally went for the pin.
Winner: "The Hardcore Badboy" Tim Kelly via Pinfall in 12:46
Erico commented on what a surprise Kelly was, and how he liked Tim's style. Sam was a little saddened that someone in the REV lost to an untrained guy from Chehalis. Erico suggested signing Kelly, who was still dancing in the ring with just his boxers on. Sam mentioned the tons of lawsuits that would result, and then signed off for the REV.
