The Top 10 Moments of 2005
What has now become somewhat of a yearly tradition for the website, I will now countdown the top 10 moments/events from the past year in a sort of retrospective look at what was. Enjoy!
10. The appearance of the Muffin Man: It appears now that the muffin man of child's folklore fame resides in St. Catharines. Evidence of his residency in St. Kitts came in the form of a surprise left early one morning in March. Discovered in our mailbox were 4 large muffins and a note that stated "I've been watching you at the bus station, The Muffin Man." While we have yet to truly determine who the muffin man, his stale muffins were appreciate by one resident of 103 Carlton Street.
9. The tragedy of the bottle boyz: OK, so this was a half-baked alter-ego that Mike and I came up with in attempt to get our neighbours, the girls of 132 Carlton Street back for pranking us during a party we had. We had stored up a couple hundred water bottles and figured out a revenge plan. We would tape a paper covering over the doorframe of the girls' house, living a small pocket between their door and the paper covering. We would then fill this pocket with the water bottles. Hence, when they would open their door in the morning, water bottles would come spilling out into their house. It was a perfect plan. Unfortunately the tape at the bottom of the paper covering gave way and the prank was ruined.
8. The CCP: CCP stands for candy-cane penetration. Let's just say that watching a man be sexually assaulted with two large candy-canes by two people that have had too much to drink is not a pretty sight. But pretty hilarious when you look at it in hindsight.
7. Dirty-word scrabble: Ordinarily this wouldn't be something to make a top-10 list, but this had to have been the most impressive/creative game of dirty-word scrabble that I had ever been a part of. Most games stop after a couple of turns, with the the largest word being "boobs" or "boner". This game went far beyond that. If you wish to see a picture of the completed board, click the following link.
6. 40 McDougall, our favourite soap opera: Wow, I haven't seen so much drama in one place since they cancelled Melrose Place (which I never watched, I'm just making the comparison for posterity's sake..) Nevertheless, despite the drama, many good times were had at my home away from home. Thanks to Ryan there were many nights that involved way too much beer, where it was consumed by myself or him. Overall, the funniest thing had to be Ryan's voluntary shaming, as he seemed to be more into having stuff written on him than anyone else.
5. My "LeBaron": OK, so technically my new car in a 98 Chevy Cavalier, but the if anyone has every seen Freddy Got Fingered you'll get the joke. If not, I don't care. Anyways, I figured I would make one moment at least a little self-serving. All I can say is that I have a car, and most of you out there don't, so bite me.
4. Year-end blowout at the Moose and Goose: This isn't memorable so much for what happened at the bar, but for what happened afterwards. The first meeting of the CSUFA (Carlton Street Ultimate Fighting Association). Mike and I had been talking all year about how we were gonna scrap, so we finally did it at 1 in the morning after a beer-fuelled stress reliever. Let's just say that Mike handily won two matches against myself and Jeff. Considering he had the chance to gorilla-press slam me onto a car hood and didn't speaks to how lopsided the match was. It's also memorable because it's the first-night that Mike had two girls passed out on his bed.
3. "The Night": There really is no better way to describe a night that memorable. Let's see, what happened: I saw the most vomit I have ever seen that didn't come out of me; Mike got molested on the dance floor by a hot girl; the Lil' John drinking game was created; one of us licked the guitar of the band that was playing (not me); on the walk home, both Jeff and I went down at one point (I tried to tackle Mike, Jeff tried to do a Mr. Perfect gum swat); there was some alleged light-post pole dancing; finally, the infamous "Dr. Phil" sketch was created in the basement of 132 Carlton.
2. The Thanksgiving Surprise: Unfortunately this incident makes number two because of the sheer creepiness and huge impact it had on the lives of those on Carlton Street. Upon return home from Thanksgiving, I got a call from Jen saying that I needed to come over to see a hole in their wall. I assumed this was something that would be rather funny. I was dead wrong. When I got over there, I found out that the hole in the wall was created by burglars who had broken into their house over the break.
How they got in is like something out of Mission: Impossible. The girls living in a detached-duplex, so they share a wall with their neighbours, another house of students. Well, the burglars broke into their neighbours' house through a basement window and then proceeded to get into their house by kicking a hole in the drywall between the two houses. They then crawled into through this hole and proceeded to help themselves to whatever they wanted. DVDs, CDs and some jewelry were the biggest items taken, along with frozen food and Bounce dryer sheets.
Nevertheless, this was a very creepy development and made all of us on Carlton truly realize how sketchy our neighbourhood is.
1. The purple Jesus party: OK, back to some fun times for number one. Oh, and how fun they were. It was towards the end of the year, and we had yet to have a big party at our house, so we determined it was about damned time. So we figured we would throw one before everyone went home for the summer. Let's just say the party was a big success. My favourite part had to be my role at the Purple Jesus brew master. For those of you who don't know, Purple Jesus is a drink made out of grape juice, ginger ale and vodka, usually made in large quantities. In this case, it was 4 cans of grape juice, 8 cans of ginger ale and a 26er of vodka made up in a large chest cooler.
This night is also infamous of Mark and Jeff's rather heroic intake of shots of liquid cocaine, football in the streets, some bad dancing attempts to Gwen Stefani songs, and for their being cookies and suckers hidden all over our house. This last point deserves some more elaboration.
The best way I pieced together what happened with the cookies is that the girls down the street, mainly Danielle and Jen from what I've been told, left the party when we were distracted to get some stale cookies they had. They returned and hid the cookies in various places throughout the house, including in my underwear drawer and in my bed! Unfortunately I also ate one of the mystery cookies, not knowing where it had come from. I was then told where these cookies had come from, and also that they had been licked!
As if the cookie shaming weren't bad enough, my room was covered with post-it notes containing little messages and "hidden" highlighter messages written on my mirror. Also, our jackets were mysteriously stolen that night as well.
All-in-all, it was a very successful party, except that Mark, Alicia and I never did find Mike's porno that he had hidden in the basement.