RANDOM THOUGHT OF THE WEEK

OK, so with this being the 3rd launch of the website, I'm sure you all know what my random thoughts are about. If you don't, I don't really care.

January 10, 2005

The Hollaback Bitch

            It takes a lot these days in order to get me riled up. Things have been going good in my life, so I’m very happy these days. But after thinking for a bit today, I’ve realized something that’s been gnawing away at me for a while. I hate Gwen Stefani. This isn’t a typical “I-hate-a-celebrity-because-they-are-rich-and-know-it” rant. I have several logical reasons for why I hate Gwen Stefani and I think they are convincing enough that you’ll agree with me after reading this. 

           Firstly, I hate Gwen because her music is so damn annoying. I admit most of her songs are fairly catchy the first time around, but after the fifth or sixth time, they suck. I’m sure everyone can agree that after hearing Hollaback Girl, with the lamest, most annoying chorus, a few times, you wanted to shove some ear plugs so far into your head that you would never hear again. And what the hell is the second chorus. You’re just spelling the word banana. Most people can do that once they reach grade one. You’re nothing special.

             Secondly, she has four human beings as accessories. Last time I checked the British outlawed slavery in 1807 and the North won the civil war. Now I know your thinking, “Hey, the Harajuku girls aren’t slaves.” But look at it logically. They always walk a few paces behind Gwen. She has given them her own names. They do menial tasks like dance in the background of her videos and live performances. Gwen uses them as props for selling her LAMB clothing line. Finally, in watching MuchMusic veejay Jennifer Hollett interview Gwen, she asked one of the Harajuku girls a question. She was promptly told by Gwen not to talk to them and just pretend they weren’t there. I’d say it’s pretty certain that the Harajuku girls aren’t hanging out with Gwen on their own accord.

             Finally, she kicked her No Doubt band mates to the curb without so much as a warning. That’s a pretty jackass thing to do in my books. Together they had produced some pretty good music and I’m sure that the guys thought they would be along for the ride a big longer. But nope, they were disposed of as quickly as Gavin Rossdale’s fame.

             So as you can plainly see by now, I don’t just hate Gwen Stefani because she is rich and famous. I hate her because she is a crappy-music producing, slave-owning, backstabbing bitch.