Since the Dawn of Time, this question has plagued the hearts and minds of humanity. Here, we give you the ANSWER!
me-NIS-cus: [from the Greek meniskos, diminutive of mene, moon, crescent] 1: a concavo-convex lens 2: a crecent or crescent-shaped body 3: the curved upper surface of a liquid column that is concave when the containing walls are wetted by the liquid and convex when dry 4: a fibrous cartilage within a joint esp. of the knee
As you see, meniscus has many meanings, but we are talking about THE Meniscus! The most revolutionary 'Zine ever to come out of Portland (Oregon) and/or Chicago!
But all of this raises YET ANOTHER question: Just what is a "Zine" anyway? Well, that is very simple. A 'Zine (Short for Magazine, duh) is a small press magazine, usually less than five thousand copies printed (one issue of Meniscus only had two copies made. It's a collectors' item, and also impossible to get... except I bet Matt would make you one for the right price...), usually no advertisements, except maybe a couple for small name bands, other 'zines, or what have you. That's just a broad definition. Specifically, Meniscus is the
MOST IMPORTANT 'ZINE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF TIME AND SPACE!!!
Meniscus has the power to bring joy to your sad life, to smite your Enemies and the Unfaithful, to call down horrid plagues of Toads, Locusts, and Blood at YOUR COMAND! Meniscus will improve your love life, giving you the CHARISMA and PERSONAL MAGNETISM you always wished you had to woo that/those particular men/women/beings that you desire! After reading just ONE SECTION of an issue of Meniscus, you will find your wallet full of money, your refrigerator full of food, and that evil roomate who NEVER CLEANS will be VACUUMING THE RUG and CLEANING OUT THE BEER STAINS!! All of your debts, bills, loans (yes, even college loans) will be instantly PAID OFF!! Important People in the Government and Industry will suddenly find that they owe you BIG favors! Your every wish will come true! The IRS will get off your back, the television will only play shows the YOU REALLY LIKE, your favorite band that has broken up will get back together, and THEY WON'T SUCK! Your favorite movie will have a well-written and directed sequel, WITH ALL THE SAME ACTORS!!* What more could you possibly ask for from ANY PRODUCT, especially while you are AT THE SAME TIME reading MIND NUMBINGLY FUNNY stories, comic strips, and phony advertisements!?
RIGHT NOW IS THE MOMENT OF TRUTH!!! Will you choose to continue leading your painfully DULL and WORTHLESS life? Or will you choose to delve further into the realms of HIGH STRANGENESS and have your EVERY WISH GRANTED?
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