Biography

(Not associated in any way with A&E, or any other various letter combinations!)

Fortunately for all of you, it began 857 years ago in the town of Alphadritzel on the Planet Pluto.

I was born into a loving family,

and grew up loved, in a happy home.

As I grew older, I grew restless. I was the smartest of my people, so I chose to explore the universe.

I learned of the evil Mushroom People from Zod

and their plot to control the entire universe, by hoarding the once infinite cheese supply!

I have been at war with them ever since. I have gained many valuable allies along the way

, but the evil Mushroom People continue to press on. Their horrific quest, led me to the Planet Earth,

their main target. On Earth, I have been able to fight them by posing as a normal Earthling.

My only problem is trying to relate to the average human.

During my time on Earth, I have done many things.

I discovered fire. I was once the King of Spain. I started the French Revolution, and WWI by accident. I was the Pope for 50 years. I invented the game of baseball.

I incited the Boston Tea Party, and the Watts Riots. I put out the Great Chicago Fire. I fought at Gettysburg. I wrote the complete works of Shakespeare, Poe, and Dr.Suess. I rode the Titanic. I buried Jimmy Hoffa. I sat on a grassy knoll in Dallas during a presidential visit from Camelot, but not the Camelot I remember. I won a Superbowl, and on Jeopardy. I married Elizabeth Taylor twice. I started a band named after a hard shelled bug.

I survived the times known as the 60's.

I have come to know that many so called Earthlings are really aliens also, such as John Denver

,Natalie Portman

,Sadam Hussein

,Santa Claus

, the Hell's Angels

, and most traveling salesmen

to name a few. In the Earth year 1975, I went to Pennsylvania

, where I settled in, posing as a newborn Earth Child. I have run my operations here ever since. Pennsylvania has been good to me. I met a strange creature called an EMU.

I allied myself with a powerful and intelligent race of Earth creatures called Bears,

although some of them are weird.

In 1997, I graduated from an institution of higher learning that they call Penn State University,

with a degree in Telecommunications. I have recently ventured into a new frontier, cyberspace, where I have met many more strange creatures, such as Brian