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(Published Article) Awaken your sensual sexual self: Feeling sexy and confident often takes a back seat to your family, your career and all the other important things you deal with each day. Did you know that low sexual desire could lead to problems with relationships, self-esteem and your overall well being? In fact studies have shown 40% of women experience sexual problems with lack of desire being the most common complaint. Think about this. How much did those sexy high heels cost? How about the slim-fitting black dress? And that lacy lingerie? All the sexy clothes in the world can't reap the results you want if the body and spirit inside those clothes don't feel a sensual or sexual desire. How do you know if you need to awaken your sensual, sexual self? * "My husband and I seem divided and aren't having sex -- I've said no so often that he's just stopped trying!" Sound familiar? * Are you being a nag or simply being insistent? The only person who can answer that question is your significant other. If you�re afraid to ask them, than you probably already know the answer! * Have you hidden your true feelings so long that those who know you might now be responding to your mask instead of to you? It�s a pretty mask and you like the response�then don�t wonder why you�re feeling somewhat alone today. * An argument may arise over your unwillingness to splurge on your relationship. You may want someone to give a lot and receive nothing in return. Are you being fair? Absolutely not��You can give without loving, but you can�t love without giving�. * You can�t go on hiding your true feelings forever. Find a way to get up the nerve to tell it like it is. If the truth ends a relationship, you are probably better off but if it strengthens it, then think of how much better you�ll both feel and perhaps even bridge a gap between the two of you. Learn to increase your desires, find more pleasure in your relationships, and feel better about your sensuality and body. Sometimes anticipated enjoyment is more pleasant than actual enjoyment. Think about the happy things that surround you. There are plenty but you have to remember to look for them. Let your thinking become very clear and by paying close attention to what your mate has been telling you, you can perhaps learn a great deal about what your mate wants. Your mate could really need to get something off their chest. Just sit and listen to what they have to say, even if what they�re telling you is hard to hear. Your relationship can only benefit from honesty. Now it�s time to re-examine what you want. Personal connections should mean a great deal to you. Be gentle when you speak your mind and see if a happy balance can be struck. Try to make a few adjustments for the emotional needs of your mate. Pressure will ease off and communications will flow happily. Choose an element of your relationship that you want to work on and then go about fixing it. It doesn�t have to be anything big. Start by giving your partner one compliment every day and perhaps one less criticism. Issues you�ve been having in your partnership areas are not going away. What should change, is the way you view them. Keeping a relationship alive requires effort and�Shortcuts just won�t do it. Try to separate practical considerations from emotional ones. Sometimes romance, not sex is the key to better relationships. Bring flowers, or write a poem. Let your creative instincts be sharp, use them to your advantage. Converse! Speak lovingly. Enjoy the spiritual closeness. I strongly emphasize the importance of rebuilding and renewing valuable relationships as well as being strong enough to let go of people, who no longer meet your emotional, spiritual and physical needs. Bring Love into your world, but it's up to you how you use it, who and what you give it to and how you open your heart to receive it. See someone under a different light. Give your feelings unconditionally and without worry or doubt. Love thrives when nourished by imagination and belief. Create reasons to fall in love all over again with some one, some thing or some dream...and then simply do so. Don�t give up on love and by all means don�t let love give up on you! Lewisa �Denise� Hurtt-Thomas Columnist/Poet |
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