Coffee and Non-Violence: 
Experiencing the Unfolding of Non-Violence in Your Daily Life
by Denise Dempsey

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I am sitting here drinking a cup of coffee, thinking about Non-violence. A strange combination? Well, I'm a meditation and yoga teacher. A Hakomi therapist. I think about these things a lot.
Take a deep breath.
Believe it or not, that was an act of non-violence. The roots of non-violence, plain and simple, are awareness and compassion. Non-violence is an active term, one of conscious intention to honor the sacredness of all things, including yourself. Have you treated yourself violently today? Thomas Merton said, "To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help in everything, is to succumb to violence." Again, tune into the breath. Slow down. On most days, I think I have a long way to go. How about you?
Non-violence means non-harming. It comes to us from the Sanskrit word ahimsa, which means reverence for all life. For thousands of years it has been at the core of spiritual traditions around the world. To Ghandi, it meant seeking solutions without creating confrontations or bitterness. He used the Sanskrit word satyagraha, non-violent action.
Did you show reverence for your own life today? Did you eat good food? Did you get enough sleep last night? Non-violence can mean going to bed early. It could mean buying organic food -- or simply eating good food period, and non fast food. Or maybe just eating breakfast. Or just eating and not starving your body to fit someone else's definition of beauty.
In my work as a Hakomi therapist, I help clients work with stress and emotional issues by helping them to learn on an experiential level to be non-violent with themselves. I help them to go with the grain and trust in their innate wisdom. Force always meets up with resistance. Gentleness and co-creation bring growth, empowerment and a sense of connection.
Picture yourself studying for a test in a non-violent way. What would you do? Is staying up all night learning the material better for you or is it studying a little each day? No one can answer that but you. Seeking the most life affirming solution may not be an easy as you think. You may find that this becomes an internal query into an eternal question.
About that cup of coffee – where did it come from? Organic? Fair trade? Good for me or not? Perhaps I really need more rest? Or is it’s warmth and aroma a treat for my senses? Do I just happen to really enjoy coffee?  Start over with your next breath, your next sip of coffee, your next step. Be gentle with yourself. Don't go against the grain. Practice non-violence with yourself and you will find it spreading through your life. Take a deep breath. Notice the stars tonight. non-violence does not only mean peacefully resolving conflicts. It means not using force to harm any living system, including your own. Taking a deep breath connects you to your life force affirming that you are alive and worthy of deep respect.

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