• Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

• A day without sunshine is like, night.

• On the other hand, you have different fingers.

• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

• 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

• 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

• You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

• I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

• Honk if you love peace and quiet.

• Remember half the people you know are below average.

• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

• Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

• He who laughs last thinks slowest.

• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

• I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

• I intend to live forever - so far so good.

• Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

• Your mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

• Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

• The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

• Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

• When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

• Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

• No-one is listening until you make a mistake.

• Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

• The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.