It’s all Wendy of Wendy Knits fault for this shawl. I completely blame her for my obsession that has outlasted two balls of yarn, 3 sets of needles, and 3 months of my life.

Why is this all Wendy’s fault? I bought her book, Wendy Knit’s: My Neverending Adventures in Knitting. In the chapter, “Fiber Snob”, she has this lovely pattern for her Grape Harbor Shawl that enthralled me the second I laid eyes on it. The front cover has a little blurb that the book contains 20 patterns that anyone can knit. Combine that with a brand new skein of Lorna’s Laces Helen’s Lace in Tahoe, I was convinced I could knit this shawl. I had conquered socks, 3 sweaters, and countless novelty scarves. I could handle this shawl!

The danger of yarn fumes does not end with just buying the yarn; it also convinces you that you can tackle any project.

First challenge: finding needles. I have a very nice collection of Brittany Birch straight needles that worked lovely for all those novelty scarves I churned out. However, they do not work with laceweight. They have blunt points that don’t work for tinkers when I am doing k2tog or ssk. I figured this out after frogging my shawl for the 5th time after dropping stitches while attempting said mentioned k2tog and ssk. So I went in search of better needles.

Idaho being what it is lace needles do not exist here. Period. So in desperation I bought Susan Bates metal size 8 straights. I quickly learned why some people hate straights. If I held the needles for more than 30 minutes, my wrist began to ache to the point I couldn’t hold the needles. Knitting only 30 minutes at a time means a shawl that ends up 350 stitches across will take forever. Next, came Susan Bates circular needles. Circulars are great; I just hate brand new ones because the cord is curled up and takes forever for the cord to relax to get smooth knitting. For the moment, I’m still on the circular needles but gladly open to other suggestions for needles. The points are better than the Brittany Birch but sometimes leave something to be desired.

Second challenge: the yarn. Does anyone else think that laceweight yarn looks like dyed dental floss? I had never used this fine of yarn or this many yards at once. Remember, I am a graduate of the chunky novelty yarns, 100 yards if they are feeling generous on big needles. Even all my sweaters that I have made did not contain as many yards of this single skein of lace. Trying to see the lace pattern in laceweight yarn is nay impossible. I’m sure the change in my eye prescription is directly related to this project.

The inability to see my mistakes in my project and not be able to fix them causes me to frog the project at least another 4 times. I couldn’t even tink back without messing up the yarn further.

Since I didn’t have a yarn swift at the time; I had to bribe my family to hold the skein on their arms while I rolled it into a ball. I’m pretty sure that 1250 yarns stretched into 1,250 miles before I got done winding it into the ball. It didn’t help that my cat nephew, Jet, wanted to help Auntie Sarah with this yarn by pouncing on the ball of yarn while in my hands or gnaw on the skein in between taking turns rolling it into a ball. (Sidenote: I have since learned my lesson and bought a yarn swift & ball winder to keep the peace in the family.)

Third challenge: Gauge and yarn again. Wendy’s pattern is a bit vague about what yarn to use. She recommends Spirit Trail 100% silk but right now you can’t get that yarn. She doesn’t say anything about how thick this yarn is other than it’s laceweight. After looking up gauges for laceweight, I realize there is a huge range for laceweight! While Helen’s Laces is not gossamer laceweight, it certainly isn’t too far off from it. Upon further research into the recommended yarn for the pattern, it quickly becomes apparent that the yarn is on the border of fingering, not a very laceweight. Having my shawl only be 4 inches long after 50 rows using size 8 needles only confirms my suspicions.

By the time this realization comes, I have now frogged this shawl yet another 5 times. The yarn is starting to wear out. By now I have used every cuss word ever invented in the English language, invented a few more on the spot, thrown my yarn and needles on the floor more than once and thrown a temper tantrum of epic portions.

By now I was convinced that I must be doing something wrong. I tried everything I could think of to get the pattern right: I read the pattern aloud while knitting the row to keep track of every stitch, I counted stitches forwards and backwards (always coming up with different numbers every time), I used stitch markers. I highlighted the rows as I completed them, I counted every single stitch after each pattern row to make sure I had the right amount. When I came up stitches short, I added stitches discreetly, but yet was still off and sort.

Nothing was helping. In fact, my lace knitting appeared to be getting worse, not better. By now, I had frogged my shawl at least another 3 times, for a total of 17 times. Yes, I have had problems with knitting before now. But never has a project kicked my arse as badly as this “simple” lace shawl has. For once in my knitting life I seriously contemplated dumping the project completely, never wanting to see the yarn and the pattern every again. It would be my first UFO. I’ve always finished my projects regardless of how ugly it gets. I resigned myself to the fact I couldn’t do lace. I would never be a Knitter with a capital “K”.

Redemption came slowly to me. Finding a skein of Interlacements Kansas in colorway 109 in a lovely, tiny yarn shop Knit on Purl in Jackson, WY was the first step. Being fingering weight, it was vastly more appropriate for the pattern and size needles than the lovely Helen’s Laces. Also, by now, I had the pattern memorized through the first 75 rows. I could concentrate on my knitting instead of trying to read pattern and pay attention to my knitting at the same time. By being able to watch my lace as I knitting it let me begin to understand the pattern and how it works. Once, that finally clicked in my head, I made progress, I knew how to fix my mistakes or even move past them.

Now my shawl is making progress. It’s far from perfect but instead of panicking and losing my temper when I fudge up, I can keep going. As I near the end, I look back and realize how much I’ve learned about my knitting and myself.

Fear no knitting.