April 18, 2002

The following is an excerpt from "New Woman" magazine.

TANTRIC SEX:  TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING?

Recently we decided to go on a trip to learn more about Tantric Sex so we could separate all the facts from the fiction.  Our first stop was the Institute of Advanced Tantric Relations.  Located on twenty acres of lush countryside outside of Norfolk, Virginia, the Institute has gotten a lot of attention lately and has sparked a heated controversy in this conservative community.  Dr. Niqua Niqbar, the Director of the Institute, is one of the foremost proponents and researchers in the field of Tantric sex. As he explains, "The whole concept of Tantra is to maximize the beauty and pleasure of the intimate relations between a man and woman.  By extending the time and quality of the relations, we deepen the experience and the bonk between the partners."

A small man with lively brown eyes and a ready smile, Niqbar is proud to show us around his Institute.  In his office, the walls are covered with autographed photos of the doctor with celebrities including rock singer Sting, talk show host Phil Donohue, and the late Erma Bombeck.  Those who are uninitiated in the practice of Tantric sex assume it is just a series of marathon sex sessions with no climax for the male.  Dr. Niqbar is quick to dispel this myth.

"The concept of two partners locked in a dull, monotonous love embrace in a dark little room for hours is a cliché.  This would be no more satisfying than a more typical experience such as a divorced man going to an REO Speedwagon concert, picking up a stranger, and having anonymous sex in a seedy motel.  We have all done that, haven't we?"  he said with a wink.  "But don't we deserve more?

"True Tantra enhances not just the pleasure but the quality of the relationship.  During relations, we teach our patients not to worry about body parts and G-spots and angles.  Instead, we want them to enjoy the beauty of each other and their sensual surroundings."

With the consent of several couples, the doctor took us on a tour of several of the encounter rooms.  Opening the curtains in a sound-proof viewing area, he showed us a couple.

"As you can see, instead of a sweaty, hurried tussle, a couple learns to savor their surroundings as well.  Scented candles of sandalwood stimulate the olfactory organs.  The couple, as they bond, enjoy the beautiful music of Yanni, Enya, or virtually any other artist with a one-word name...Sting, for example.  This environment a couple creates pleases the senses and makes the art of love like a feast to be savored rather than a quick drive through a fast food place where you feel bloated and cheap afterwards."

As we move on to the next room, Dr. Niqbar explains, "Our next couple are well on their way to Tantric fulfillment."  The second room is brighter and more open.  As we look through the window, we see an attractive couple in their forties engaged in the act of love in a seated position.  "This is a Level Two couple," the doctor explains.  "As they are joined together in the act of sexual congress they savor the sight of each other as well as enjoying the world around them."  Perched together on the bed, the couple watch a big screen television playing the classic film "Somewhere in Time."

"Enjoying a favorite movie or sharing a book of poetry heightens the aura of oneness," Niqbar points out.  As we walked to the next area, we observed a couple, unaware of us, joined together as they played a spirited game of checkers.  "A whole world of sensuality opens up through Tantra.  True love is not selfish.  We teach our couples to share their love as part of the everyday activities they have together."

Walking through the spacious common room, we saw couples locked together in the act of love skimming through magazines, working together on laptop computers, sorting recyclables, and preparing simple yet flavorful meals of pasta and vegetables.  Two couples were engaged in a lively game of ping pong.  Not surprisingly, the couple in the lingam contingua position (joined from front to back) won.

Though some might be shocked by the openness and freedom of self-expression of Tantric love, the patients at the Institute revel in their shared sensuality.  Several couples while linked together in pairs donned simple, roomy cotton kaftans made to accommodate two lovers and staggered into the Institute's minibus for a trip to town.

It is in town - conservative Norfolk - that the doctor faces his greatest opposition.  Townspeople are slow to accept the free-wheeling sensuality as a part of their community.  Says one local greengrocer, "I don't want none of it.  I don't care what they do in the privacy of their own homes, but it just makes me sick when a pair of them folks come into my store.  They're hooked up together like a couple of dogs in the street walking sideways through my store, poking at the produce, and moaning and groaning and squeezing the melons.  One couple got so carried away by the tomatoes that I had to turn a hose on'em.  You'd think the City Council would do something about this mess," he said as a couple walked past joined in Tantric bliss as they picked up some dry cleaning.

However, the Council along with Mayor Georgia Shaw are quick to point out that the Institute and its patients pour an estimated two million dollars a year into the local economy that is still reeling from a depression set off by contamination of the local clam fisheries.  A "Share the Love" publicity campaign to garner support has been a failure, but the city government is in no hurry to inhibit the Tantric community.  Still, the locals have decidedly mixed opinions about the Institute and its director, who they refer to as "Dr. Hook-up."

NEXT ISSUE:  Tantra and X-treme Sports