March 7, 2002

Excerpt from the "Direct to Video Retailers Quarterly" journal

WASHINGTON'S LOSS IS HOLLYWOOD'S GAIN

Samalco Productions announces an exciting new direct-to-video horror release.

Former U.S. Senator Gary Condit has signed a three picture deal to star in a new series of direct-to-video horror films.  After losing his bid for re-election following continued scandal and allegations regarding his involvement in the disappearance of intern Chandra Levy, Condit has been cast in the title role as "The Senator."

Writer/director Nace Flaskerpester explains:  "Gary is perfect.  He's got those movie star good looks and that mischievous twinkle in his eye.  The Senator is your classic boogeyman.  He was killed by a band of angry taxpayers after they found the decomposing bodies of dozens of virgins stuffed in the basement of his spooky, old Georgetown mansion.  Now five years later his stinking, rotten corpse rises from the grave to haunt the Beltway and reclaim his constituency, one sexy, scantily-clad doomed teenager at a time.

"You'll see 'The Senator' stalking hot, young congressional interns in the ladies rooms of the Capitol, slashing babysitters at the Watergate, dining in fancy restaurants with lobbyists, and carrying out his gruesome revenge on the mob that killed him and stuffed his body in the incinerator of the House of Representatives.

"Gary saw the script and went crazy for it.  We've only started pre-production, but I can tell already this guy is gonna be a big star.  He's a natural."

Samalco has "The Senator" scheduled for direct-to-video release for Spring of 2002.  The sequel "The Senator Walks Among Us" is tentatively slated for a Fall 2002 release.  The third picture, "The Senator's Slumber Party Massacre," is already Samalco's featured Christmas release.  If successful, Samalco plans to launch a weekly horror anthology series called "Gary Condit Presents Tales of Mystery and Shameless, Evil, Lying Bastards."

In a related venture, Samalco has signed Monica Lewinsky to star in an exclusive new syndicated adult cable series.  The show - "Monica Lewinsky's Washington DiCks" - will feature the voluptuous celebrity as the head of an all stripper Washington, D. C. detective agency.  Each half hour episode will feature an erotic vignette introduced by Ms. Lewinsky, with sexy, scantily-clad sleuths going "undercover" to solve Beltway mysteries.  The pilot episode, "The Case of the Missing Sexy Little G-String," has already been aired on Cinemax After Dark.

Reportedly, Samalco is also in negotiations with Dick Chaney and Tom Clancy regarding a projected action series tentatively titled "The New Invisible Man Power Squad."