February 21, 2002

PREMIUM eSLASHculture SERVICE

Dear eSLASHculture customer,

    So far 2002 has been a banner year for us here at eSLASHculture.  Customer utilization has skyrocketed and approval ratings have continued to rise.  As you, the eSLASHculture user, are our most valued commodity, we are pleased to announce that you have been personally selected to receive, at no additional charge, the all-new Premium eSLASHculture Service.

    The  Premium Service is an exciting new way for you to tailor your eSLASHculture experience to better match your individual needs and preferences.  The result will be an eSLASHculture experience we think you will find to be humorous, thought-provoking, and profoundly satisfying.

    Please take a moment to review the simple instructions below and with a few mouse clicks and your "Reply" button you will soon be enjoying the Premium eSLASHculture Service.

    Please choose a two-letter prefix from the CONTENT, SUBJECT, and STYLE modifier categories.

SUBJECT MODIFIERS

    PC - Popular culture:  rib-tickling jokes about current topics.

    RP - Right wing politics:  oh, those Democrats!

    LP - Left wing politics:  fat cat Republicans a specialty.

    MB - Man bashing:  men sure suck, don't they, ladies?

    FB - Woman bashing:  the ladies, the ladies, the ladies!

    FJ - Fat jokes:  no one can read just one.

    OJ - Oprah jokes:  all Oprah jokes all the time.

STYLE MODIFIERS

    VF - Very funny:  laugh out loud humor!

    MF - Moderately funny:  good for a chuckle or two.

    SF - Slightly funny:  mildly amusing material.

    NF - Sad, not funny at all:  why bother, really?

    WS - Weird stuff:  strange and pointless, our specialty here at eSLASHculture

CONTENT MODIFIERS

    ML - Mature language.

    GV - Graphic violence.

    GN - Graphic nudity.

    SS - Strong sexual content.

    XS - Embarrassingly extreme sexual content:  Available only to Platinum Premium Plus subscribers.

    Having selected a modifier from each category, link them in order with paired backslashes using only upper case letters.  An additional Bonus modifier can be added at no extra charge with paired forward slashes.

Example:  OJ//VF//XS\\GV      This modifier code would result in eSLASHculture pieces only about Oprah which are very funny and feature graphic sexual couplings after which Oprah very violently blows up.

    Please formulate your Modifier Code Line, enter it into your email "Reply" form, and forward it promptly.  Then sit back and enjoy week after week of Premium eSLASHculture Service at no additional charge.

                                Sincerely yours,

                                Leonard Festerparsterbasterving

                                CEO, eSLASHculture Enterprises