Chapter 13: Spring Cleaning (in September)
By Doug

(Doug, Josh, and Steven are hanging out at the house, after 3 straight days of gaming)

Doug:  Look at this place, it’s trashed.

Steven:  Yeah…isn’t it great?

Josh:  (looks at the ground) Ohh!  Salsa and Chips!

Doug:  That’s not salsa…

(Josh eats a chip full of “salsa”)

Josh:  *munch* what? *munch*

Doug:  That’s the spaghetti sauce we ate 3 days ago…

(Josh throws up)

Steven: Really?

(Steven starts devouring the spaghetti sauce)

Doug:  We should do some spring cleaning around here.

Josh:  Your right, I’m pretty sure we’ve broke at least 5 city sanitation laws already.

Doug:  Sven?

(Steven keeps eating the sauce)

Josh: *gag* let’s leave him be.

Doug: Right.

(Doug and Josh start cleaning the house; and by cleaning the house, I mean throwing all the dirty junk and the garbage into the backyard.)

Josh:  *crash* Done with the living room. 

Doug:  Almost done with the kitchen.

(Doug throws the dirty dishes out the kitchen window.)

Doug: Done!

????: Ufff…

Josh: What was that?

(They look out the window)

????: What’d you have to do that for?

Josh:  Oh my god!

Doug: Where?  *looks around*

Josh:  I mean the freaking skeleton of that rat that’s talking to us. 

Turtle (skeleton):  I’m not a freaking rat!  I’m a turtle!

Josh:  Sorry, don’t have to be a jerk…

Turtle:  *humph* Well, I have returned from the other world to give you important advice!

Doug:  Oh my god!  A talking turtle!

Turtle:  Uhh, yes, we’ve been over this already.

Doug:  Sorry, I wasn’t listening.

Turtle: As I was saying, you all are in grave danger!

(Steven enters the kitchen)

Steven:  Why are you guys leaning with your heads out the window?

Josh:  Steve, come see the undead turtle!

Steven:  Undead Turtle…?

(Steven looks at the turtle)

Steven:  You’re the turtle that Frank shot!

Turtle:  Why yes I am.  

Doug:  I knew it!  You were the turtle that frank shot!

Turtle:  Well who else did you think I was?

Doug:  Pat Sajak.

Turtle:  *blank stare* Anyways, speaking of Frank, I still have a score to settle with him…

Sven:  Well, he’s in Japan.

Josh:  With Natsumi.

Turtle:  When will he be back?

Doug: In about a week…

(The Turtle turns around)

Turtle:  *shouts* Hear that Frank!  Your days are numbered!

Josh:  I don’t think he can here you.

Turtle:  I just felt like getting that of my chest.

Doug:  Or more like off the big hole that used to be your chest…

Turtle:  Would you just shut up?  I’m going back to my secret lair!

Josh:  Well, see you around some time.

Turtle:  And I’m off!

(Turtle scampers away, and the guys walk back into the living room)

Steven:  When did it get so clean in here?

Doug:  Well me an-

(The door slams open)

Max:  I’m back!

Josh:  What the fuck!?

Doug:  What the hell!?

Steven:  What the bitch!?
(End)

Steven:  Hey guys, what starts with ‘F’, and ends with ‘uck’?

Josh:  Firetruck?

Doug:  I dunno, what?

Steven:  Fuck!  Are you guy’s idiots or something?