Chapter 1: The First Weekend
Steven: You're out of cheese.
Old man: So?
Steven: Go get some, now.
Old man: Who are you?
Steven: Uhhh. Someone.
Old man: O.k.
Steven: Cool, and give me all your money.
Old man: All I have is 10 dollars.
Steven: Sold.
Old man: But I didn't buy anything.
Steven: Just give it to me.
Old man: Ok, biscuits.
Steven: WAIT!! Is this 135 Fake Rd?
Old man: No, it's 127 Fake Rd.
Steven: Oh crap. I am going outside now.
Old man: Don't forget your money.
Steven: I won't.
(Steven takes the ten dollars and runs to his house.)
Max: Hay Steven, what took you so long?
Steven: Wrong house, but I got ten dollars.
Max: Cool.
Steven: Hi Frank.
Frank: Hi.
(The next day.)
Steven: Time for school.
Max: But it's sat...
Steven: Let's go.
Frank: You go, we'll catch up.
Steven: K.
(Steven leaves to go to school.)
Max: Frank, isn't it Saturday?
Frank: Ya, but he doesn't know that.
Max: Ha! Good one.
(Five hours later.)
Frank: Is Steven back yet?
Max: No, but here he comes.
(Steven walks in the door.)
Steven: Where were you guys?
Frank: It's Saturday, Steven.
Steven: Ohh, that's why I was the only person there.
Max: Yes it was.
Steven: Look a turtle!
(They all go to the window to see it.)
Steven: Who said that?
(Uhhh... the turtle.)
Steven: Cool talking turtle.
Max: No, it can't talk.
Turtle: Actually, I can.
Max: AHHHHHHHH TALKING TURTLE.
Steven: Let's call him... Jeff.
Frank: Shut up Steven. So turtle what do you want?
Turtle: I need doughnuts.
Max: AHHHHHHHH.
(Steven goes into Max's room and grabs some doughnuts.)
Steven: Here you go Jeff.
Jeff , I mean Turtle: Thanks.
(The turtle flies off with the doughnut and Frank's wallet.)
Frank: @#$% YOU TURTLE.
(Frank grabs an assault rifle and  shoots the turtle.)
Steven: Bye Jeff.
Max: Good he's gone.
Frank: Ya, and I have my wallet back.
(Ten minutes later they start to play video games.)
Steven: Who is that?
Frank: Don't worry, it's just Kevin.
Max: Didn't we kill him last year?
Steven: Ya we did.
Max: So, why is he here?
Frank: It's his zombie, now shut up and play!
Steven: I win.
Max: How do you do that so fast?
Steven: I am just that good. Hey look, flying bacon.
(They all run to the window.)
Steven: Shut up Kevin, before I kill you again.
(Sorry.)
Frank: How is that bacon flying?
(Steven runs out to eat the ba *BOOM*  AAAGGGGHHHHH.)
Steven: Now maybe you'll shut up.
Max: Hey, is there a string on it?
Steven: No, just full of that stuff in balloons.
Frank: You mean helium?
Steven: Maybe.
Old man: You just ate my bacon.
Steven: Sorry Old man.
(The next day.)
Steven: Is today the 31st?
Frank: Steven, it's February.
Steven: So? Your point is?
Frank: Just shut up.
Max: Hey guys, I made pancakes.
Steven: Cool.
Frank: I think I'll pass.
Steven: Tomorrow is Monday, right?
Max: Ya.
Steven: Cool.
Frank: You like school too much.
Steven: So?
Frank: All you do is learn.
Steven: Wait, we learn there?
Frank: Yes. Wait, what do you do all day?
Steven: Stare at the wall, draw, read, and hack the school's computers.
Max: No wonder you get all A's.
Steven: Ya. So what are you doing after school?
Frank: Nothing.
Max: Me either.
Steven: I'm going to play some D&D.
(Later that day they go to play the gam...*STAB**STAB* AHHH THE PAIN!!!)
Steven: #$@%, now my knife is bloody.
Max: Isn't your knife dull?
Steven: Ya, and he still got stabbed.
Frank: He is a zombie.
Max: Ya, your right.
Steven: What time is it?
Frank: 5:64 p.m.
Steven: Ok then, it is not ye... WAIT, there are only 60 minutes in an hour.
Frank: Do the math.
Steven: Ok then, it's 6:04.
Max: Ya.
Steven: Crap, I got to go.
Frank: Bye.
Max: Bye.
Steven: Bye... Hey look a snail.
(They all run to the window to lo*Stab**Slash**Impale* AGGHHH... WILL IT EVER END?)
Frank: Hey, that was pretty fun.
Steven: Ya it was.
(Later they all go to b*THWACK*AAGGGHHH  $#!%
Max: Shut up, I'm trying to sleep!
Steven: Wait, when did we get a house?
Frank: Remember? We killed Kevin and took his house.
Steven: Oh right, I forgot.
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