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| Alex Trebek is damn smooth | ||||||||||
| It's a well known fact that Jeopardy is the greatest game show of all time. So, the world's greatest game show host is needed to do the show justice. Alex Trebek is that man. Sometimes one of the answers he has to say has a really difficult pronunciation, but he says it perfectly. Even if it's in a really stupid language like French. I bet he could even pronounce answers in one of those African clicking languages. His little blue cards would read, "Click-click, clickitty-click-click" or something, and he'd just know how to say it. He'd know all the different click-pitches and lengths just by reading, "Click-click, clickitty-click-click". He's just that cool. | ||||||||||
| If he were a contestant on the show, he'd know all the answers. He'd win every time. Some people think he only knows the answers because they're on the cards, but that's not the case. You can tell he knows the answers, especially when no one else does. He stands there and you can tell he really wants to blurt out the answer and laugh at the contestants for being stupid. | ||||||||||
| He also knows all of the world's great mysteries. He knows who killed JFK and why, he knows if there is life on other planets, he knows about the Loch Ness monster and bigfoot, he knows where Hoffa is burried, he knows the truth about ghosts and the chupacabra, he knows everything! The only reason he doesn't tell everyone is because he's humble and doesn't want to sound like a know-it-all. | ||||||||||
| I bet you could ask him what the circumference of all the planets added up, minus the depth in millimeters of the Marianas Trench divided by the exact population of the earth is and he would know in like, two seconds. Then, just to blow your mind, he would give you the square root of the number and multiply it by the number of hairs on your head. You'd be all amazed and he'd be like, "That was nothing. Want an autograph". He also memorized, word for word, in three languages, The Divine Comedy, War and Peace, David Copperfield, and Webster's Dictionary. The reason he memorized all those books, and probably more, is because he was backstage at the Jeopardy set waiting to start shooting and he had ten minutes to kill. | ||||||||||
| He knows the secret to eternal life, but won't utilize it because he thinks that eternal life would ruin the human experience. He invented the cure for AIDS, but wants to wait until people learn to be responsible for their own actions before releasing it to the public. He could travel in time, but enjoys the surprises in life. He could fly to work every day if he wanted to, but the wind wrinkles his suits. | ||||||||||
| Once he performed an impossible operation on a dying orphan with nothing more than a clothespin, an extra button from his suit, a 3x5 card, and an apple. You know who that orphan grew up to be? George Washington, the father of our country. He even nursed a sickly manatee back to health in a kiddy pool he put in his backyard. He can see into the hearts of evil men and prevent them from harming others. Sometimes, when someone is super suicidal, and about to jump off a building, Alex Trebek will just show up, out of nowhere, and talk the jumper down and cure his depression. | ||||||||||
| He can play any musical instrument, in fact, he taught the Beatles how to play and even wrote the White album. You know, there's a lot more that could be said about Alex Trebek, but I think the world needs to find out about Trebek for themselves. If people would try to be more like Alex Trebek, the world would be a better place. | ||||||||||
| NOTE: This information may not be completely accurate, but for all you know, it might be. This page is in no way associated with Alex Trebek and this page does not voice any of Mr. Trebek's actual opinions or beliefs. The author just thinks Alex Trebek is wicked slick. | ||||||||||
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