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Drunken Saved by the Bell Haikus |
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What happens when you go to Las Vegas for a week and are completely drunk the whole time? Add to that that you're a minor and the arcades all close before midnight. You know what happens? You end up getting stuck in your hotel room from midnight until the next day. That inspires a lot of in-room drunken activities. One such activity is watching TV. I watched a lot of Saved by the Bell during those long drunken nights. The following is what came of heavy drinking mixed with Saved by the Bell reruns. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Saved by the Bell haikus: |
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Famous Zach Morris
Makes things go extremely wrong
Thanks, Saved by the Bell |
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Tough A.C. Slater
Jesse is a lesbian
Get it through your head |
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Screech is number one
Real bad case of jungle love
When will you be free |
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Highschool must be tough
Call Teen Line, you've had enough
Will Zach really win |
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Kelly or Nikki
Bayside High is in turmoil
All thanks to Teen Line |
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Teen Line falls apart
Lisa Turtle takes her place
Things work out, the end |
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Sitcom story line
Yet somehow still amusing
Grew up with the show |
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Saved by the damn Bell
How did the show last so long
Because it kicks ass |
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Kelly's 80's hair
What a fucking tease she was
What a fucking whore |
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Slater is a dick
Zach Morris is too damn smart
We all know who wins |
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Zach and Kelly K.
Want to up and drive away
Slater fucks it up |
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Slater has junk ride
Fixed up it could get Kelly
How will Zach react |
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Zach is your boyfriend
Stop being a fucking whore
You mean nothing bitch |
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Kelly camel toe
Jesse will soon be a ho
Show Girls was a bore |
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Floral pattern pants
Zach will never be beaten
Kelly will be his |
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Written by myself and Joe |
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There you have it. One drunken night in Las Vegas is responsible for these haikus. If you're a Saved by the Bell fan, you'll probably figure out what episodes inspired these haikus. I know the haiku syllable format, 5,7,5, and if any of the haikus aren't true haikus, I'm fucking sorry. I was drunk, in Las Vegas. It was like 4am when I wrote these. I could barely hold a pen. So give me a fucking break. Hell, I'm drunk now while I'm writing this. I'm going to Las Vegas in October when I graduate, this time, I'll be 21 so I'll be even more inebriated when Saved by the Bell comes on. Expect more haikus. |
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