Don't forget to look drugged or zonked out.

- Must be photogenic.
Not only that, you must be able to look cutesy-wutesy in one picture and a total whore in the next. Better yet,
both at the same time!
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- Must SOUND intelligent.
Keyword here is SOUND. If you were smart, you would not be applying.

- Must have a bizarre childhood.
Yeah, like parading in halter tops before puberty, slathering make-up before your first birthday and moving schools because "the jealousy got real bad". Spoiled brats are destined for success!

- Must have no fear of looking like a cheesecake.
That's because we'll be stuffing your as$ in size 3's!
 

- Boobs!

.....love 'em.

...grope 'em...

Flaunt 'em.....

- Dress and do your hair and make-up in ways that are anything but normal, even though it looks damn ugly.

Don't worry, there's a little bit more to read! We know, it's a pain.

If you meet these requirements, drop by our office! No intelligence necessary. Must be accompanied by pimp and recommendations of your customers.