All the citizens in a small town somewhere in Australia have dissapeared. Four guys are sent in to investigate and they find that aliens have invaded the town and killed all the natives and used their corpses to make food for a fast food chain on their home planet. This is Peter Jackson's (creator of such great movies as Dead Alive and Meet the Feebles) first movie and what a kick ass first movie it is. This movie has everything you could ask for in a great movie: action, comedy, ridiculous amounts of gore, awesome looking aliens, vomit drinking, seagull shit, and let's not forget eating brains fresh out of the skull with a spoon. This movie doesn't let up with the violence, action, and hilarity. You'll have a hard time finding a boring spot in this flick. If you have seen Dead Alive (aka Braindead) you'll know what to expect from this one: oceans of bodily fluids and organs, and hilarious dialog and situations. It's really unfortunate to see a director like Jackson go mainstream and make piles of turds like Lord of the Rings. If you don't have this movie already get it right now, and get Dead Alive while you're at it if you don't have that.
RATING: 10/10
An old hotel in New Orleans is being renovated. During the renovation a ghastly discovery is made. The hotel was built over one of the seven gates of hell. Demonic forces enter through this gate and possess anything they can to wreak havoc on the world. Catriona MacColl and David Warbeck do everything possible to close this gate and stop these creatures of hell from entering into our world. Will their efforts be enough in the late, great Lucio Fulci's masterpeice? The Beyond easily makes the top ten of the greatest horror movies ever made. The nightmarish atmosphere created by the direction of Fulci and the music of Fabio Frizzi is really what makes this movie. This movie always gives me the eeriest feeling no matter how many times I watch it. Usually the creepier a movie is, the less gory it is, but in this film there is an abundance of violence and gore yet it still maintains a very dark, frightening feeling. I don't want to say too much about this movie so I don't ruin it for the few of you who have not seen it but I just want everyone to know that this is one of the best horror movies out there, made by THE BEST director in the genre. FULCI LIVES!
RATING: 100/10
This film is simply perfect.
I know everybody makes a big deal about the scence in this movie where the midget/kid bites his mom's nipple off, and I gotta admit that's pretty cool, but this movie sucks unprecedented amounts of cock. I just can't describe how dissapointed I was when I saw this. I was like "woah this movie must kick ass if undead midgets bite their mom's nipples off in it" but other than those three seconds this movie is about as entertaining as Bob Ross's Joy of Painting. The only thing worse than how boring this movie is, is how fucking lame the zombies look. THESE ARE BAR NONE THE SHITTIEST ZOMBIES EVER. What a fucking waste of time. money, film, midgets, and nipples. This movie is a peice of shit. Don't buy it no matter what. If you need to see the nipple biting borrow the movie from someone. Fuck this movie and fuck the fucking jerkoffs that made it. DO NOT BUY THIS!!! IT'S TOTAL SHIT!!!
RATING: 1/10 (it get's the one just because the nipple scene)