1. Gone With the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell will make any human cry. If you don't cry, you're some other mammal.
2. When you are in a hurry and in a bad mood, you will hit every light on the way to your destination. It never fails.
3. LeeAnn Rimes is a country singer. (Don't laugh... that's a big step for me.)
4. Garth Brooks is also a country singer. (My friend Angie forced me to listen to him, and I liked it. *did I say that out loud?*)
5. 1987 Ford Escort Station Wagons are not a cool car to own.
6. Particularly MY 1987 Ford Escort Station Wagon.
7. Willow Trees are Cool.
To prove this point:
okay... I know it's not a willow tree... but isn't it pretty?
8. The Simpsons are cool.
9. Java means coffee- so what is JavaScript???
10. McDonald's says "Super Size," and Burger King says "Go Large." Please, learn this, take notes . . .
11. Arizona does not have a coast line. (I learned this a couple of nights ago. Yes, I am naturally blond.)
12. And on that note... REDHEADS have more fun... *big grin*
new thoughts... (7/11/97)
13. Monty Python is very good source for insults that do not involve swears... I often find relief by stating:
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food
trough water. (or something to that effect in an overdone French accent.)
or:
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!!
14. It is really fun to play dumb. It's not so much fun when people believe you.
15. Jumping up and down on your bed is fun until you either hit your head on the ceiling, or your doorway is full of adolescents laughing at you.
16. This one contributed by Rick Russell:
"It never fails that if you drop a slice of peanut buttered toast, it will always land peanut butter side down. Usually on the only rug in the house."
17. Saab is not just a car... it's a fraternity. I was discussing this phenomena today with my aunt.
"Oh, he's a Saab driver..." and then motioning for them to pass, or get in the flow of traffic.
18. August 6, 1997 heralded the arrival of my mother's brand new car. A 1997 Red Ford Escort Station Wagon. So, my 1987 Black Ford Escort Station Wagon is being relocated to our garage while we try to find some unwitting victim to purchase it. Meanwhile, I am now the proud owner of my mother's former 1988 Black Ford Escort Station Wagon. Do you sense a pattern?
19. It's amazing how much junk will fit in the back seat of a car, for example: (these are just some of the things that I found while cleaning out the above mentioned '87 escort before its relocation) lipstick, old tests, newspapers, money, jewelry, empty soda bottles, half full soda bottles, spring jackets, tapes, sunglasses, various parts of sunglasses, pens, bank statements, paycheck stubs... (Okay... I'm going to stop now, because I am really embarrassed...)
20. You know... I used to like adventure. I wanted to embrace the open road and just drive everywhere... I even learned how to read road maps. But I have found that spending four hundred dollars on a car in about three weeks time, and having it still act funny sort of dampens that ol' Wanderlust... *sigh* I guess I'll have to wait to meet Colonel Sanders after all...
21. The coffee machines that we use at work state "do not pour (coffee) towards people." The stuff we use to clean with states "do not swallow." I'm a pretty smart girl. I think I can figure all of that out on my own. But wouldn't you know it, the one thing that didn't state the obvious was what I cut myself on... Coincidence? hmmmm...
well...
This is all I have to offer the world at this time.
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