Part 2
One thing that I expected was that I might have these really silly, weird feelings of melancholy every time I saw a Mexican here. Fortunately, this did not turn out to be true because I would have been feeling an awful lot of melancholy! It seems like the population of Mexicans here in my town has doubled since I left. Maybe it did, or maybe I just notice them more, now. Anyway, I thought that I might start thinking about Mexico whenever I saw them and missing it and such. Oddly, I don't really associate the Mexicans here with those in Mexico. I think of them completely different. I don't know why, but maybe it's because of what a Mexican down there told me. He talked about how the Americanized Mexicans aren't the same as the "original" Mexicans in Mexico. Still, all the Mexicans here aren't long-time citizens of the US, so that wouldn't completely explain my feelings.
Another thing is the random mind blank-out and thinking that I am in Mexico again. Okay, I don't really think that I'm in Mexico, but I'll do things that are really out of place and then realize I did it. Namely speaking or getting ready to speak in Spanish when I order my food or something or when I'm talking with someone and accidentally say something in Spanish. I use the Spanish space filler all of the time now (which is "es de") instead of the English space filler "um." I hope that doesn't look too strange because it's a habit that I can't seem to break.
Today in church was really embarrasing because this man at my church who I always thought might like me a little bit came up to me to ask how I was. Not really thinking about what I was doing, when he came, I leaned over to kiss him! It was so embarassing and awkward because he was just kind of looking confused and not sure what I was trying to do. Oh my gosh! It was so funny! I did that because you greet everyone with a kiss like that in Mexico and even though it was really weird at first, I got used to it because that's what you do to everyone!
The other thing related to language is that sometimes I"ll blank out in English and can't think of a certain word or phrase. I'm not sure if that's just my spaciness or if it's because I was away. Usually it's with a word or phrase that I didn't use a lot in English, so I kind of forgot it, OR it's a word or phrase that means something in Spanish but has no direct English equivalent. Also, I do a lot of combining with cognates, for example, there is a phrase in Spanish, "me faltan." It means, "I'm lacking," and it's used to say express what you still need. Before, I always said, "How many to you still need?" but now I say, "How many are you lacking?" or "I'm lacking." At times, I almost say, "How many are you falting?" Also, the word for "sometimes" in Spanish, "a veces," I often get ready to say when I mean sometimes. I find myself using the equivalent, "at times," a lot more now. Just a second ago I got ready to type "a veces" when I was going to say sometimes.
Those are just some examples. It's funny, sometimes it's so hard for me to think and imagine the fact that way down there is a different world, so different from ours, and I wish so bad I could share that with so many people here, because I just can't describe it. I think this has led to the sudden rash of me inviting everyone I meet to come with me next summer to Mexico.
