The wisdom of Confucius
Confucius say...
- A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.
- All men eat, but Fu Manchu.
- America Good Place to Put Chinese Restuarant.
- Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be
shiftless bastard.
- Baseball very funny game; man can walk on 4 balls.
- Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
- Boy and girl go camping together sure to have naughty intent.
- Boy who fool around with girl in wrong period get caught red-handed.
- Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
- Boy who play with himself pulls boner.
- Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.
- Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
- Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
- Exotic dancer get applause; call girl just get clap.
- Fly who sit on toilet seat get pissed off.
- He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
- He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
- He who go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with smelly finger.
- He who masturbates in front of cash register come into money.
- He who outruns the cheetah is fucking fast on his feet!
- He who pull out too fast leave rubber behind.
- He who rapes a man's daughter, draws and quarters his son, and buries his wife
alive in an anthill should not expect to sit at that man's dinner table
without the subject coming up.
- He who refuses to listen is lying.
- He who sits on tack is better off.
- He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
- He who sleep with itchy bum, he will wake with smelly thumb.
- He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.
- He who stands in corner with hands in pocket doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts.
- He who stands on toilet seat is high on pot and he who sniffs Coke, drowns.
- He who stick head in fruit drink get punch in nose.
- If you think it's butter, but it's not, probably time to clean refrigerator.
- It take square ass to shit a brick.
- It's okay to meet girl in park, but much better to park meat in girl!
- Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
- Lady who live in glass house should dress in basement.
- Life is like taking a shower. One wrong turn and you in hot water.
- Man piss in wind, wind piss back.
- Man should learn to masturbate...come in handy!
- Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night.
- Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
- Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time.
- Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.
- Man who eats photograph of his sire is soon spitting image of his father.
- Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
- Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
- Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
- Man who go to bed with stiff problem, often wake up with solution in hand.
- Man who have circumcision lose a bit of foresight.
- Man who is jerking off into a peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.
- Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.
- Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
- Man who lay woman on ground have peace on earth.
- Man who let woman on top is fucking up.
- Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.
- Man who lose key to girlfriend's house get no new key.
- Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
- Man who polish knob play pocket pool.
- Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.
- Man who who put cock on stove have hot rod.
- Man who put cream in tart, not really a baker.
- Man who put face in punchbowl get punch in nose.
- Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache
- Man who put rooster in freezer over night have frozen cock.
- Man who run behind car get exhausted.
- Man who screws near graveyard is fucking near dead.
- Man who screw girl on hillside not on level.
- Man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink.
- Man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet.
- Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands..
- Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss baloons.
- Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
- Man who take lady on camping trip have one intent.
- Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
- Man with an unchecked parachute will jump to conclusion.
- Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
- Man with hand in pocket not always jingling change.
- Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.
- Man with hole in pocket feel nutty all day.
- Never trust men with short legs, brains too near the bottom.
- Passionate kiss like spider's web, both lead to fly's undoing.
- Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on desk.
- Seven day honeymoon make one whole week!
- She who rides bike peddles ass all over town.
- Soldier who goes to bed horny wakes up with discharge in hand.
- Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
- Support bacteria; it's the only culture some people have!
- The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door.
- There is no such thing as rape; woman run faster with skirt up, than man with
pants down.
- Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
- When lady say no, she mean maybe; when lady say maybe, she mean yes; when lady
say yes, she no lady.
- Wise man never hides in lady's closet after eating baked beans.
- Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
- Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
- Woman who eat cookies in bed at night will wake up feeling crumby.
- Woman who fly airplane upside down have hairy crack-up
- Woman who not practice sex before marriage is sentenced to an indeterminate
length.
- Woman who put chicken and peas in soup, very unhygienic.
- Woman who put detergent on top shelf, Jump for Joy.
- Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
- Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal ass all over town.
- Woman who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip.
- Woman who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge.
- Woman who slide down bannister make monkey shine.
Confucius say too damn much! - Confucius' brother