How would you like a nice, relaxing, stress-free holiday?  How about a Thanksgiving without the long drive, without all the relatives, without the competition between your mother and mother-in-law, and without trying to create the perfect feast?  Sound too good to be true?  A nice, relaxing, stress-free Thanksgiving holiday is what my husband, Brian, and I have practiced for several years. 

On Thanksgiving Day we wake up at our leisure, with the smell of cooked turkey wafting through the house.  Our cats are usually on the bed with us, trying to wake us up because they want at the turkey that they’ve been smelling all night (see turkey recipe at bottom of page).  We do not change clothes out of our pajamas because the PJs are the most comfy articles of clothing to wear.  We cook the remainder of our meal together:

Brian makes the pumpkin pie using pre-fab frozen pie shells, canned pumpkin, and the recipe found on the can of pumpkin.  I make Stove-Top Stuffing in the microwave, heat-and-serve rolls, instant mashed potatoes, and gravy using the packet that came with the turkey we purchased (check the turkey’s packaging for this key ingredient that makes making gravy easy and lump-free).  I also open up a can of yams and heat it in the microwave (in a microwave-safe dish) with a little brown sugar, just for me because Brian doesn’t like yams.

Then we take our food to the living room, including a plate of turkey for the cats, where we sit on the couch, eat our feast, and watch football without distractions.  I usually fall asleep by the time the second game starts.  After the nap, it’s time for seconds!

The keys to celebrating Thanksgiving in your own household are improvisation, inspiration, and fun. Remember the traditional Thanksgiving Day food:  turkey, stuffing, rolls, potatoes, yams, cranberries, and pumpkin pie.  These can be improvised to ease the cooking process (such as heat-and-serve rolls) and/or adjusted to your family tastes.  I use Stove-Top Stuffing, but your family’s recipe may be better.  However, I grew up hating stuffing until I realized that it’s the family’s stuffing recipe that I don’t like. 

I recommend the whole family take part in cooking this meal.  Part of the fun of doing it by yourselves is doing it together.  Even the little ones can have fun stirring the ingredients together for the pumpkin pie or the older ones cooking the stuffing, etc. (This also becomes a great and natural way to start teaching them how to cook.) Of course, everyone should be involved in the clean-up.  This can (and probably should) wait until the next day.  Why fight the crowds in the shopping malls?  Your kids are not in school anyway.  They can clean the kitchen the day after Thanksgiving.  Just make sure to store properly any food on Thanksgiving Day.

This relaxing tradition started in 1992 when Brian, as a DJ, and I, as a nursing assistant, both had to work on Thanksgiving Day.  After we came home from our respective jobs, I cooked some Cornish hens and a few other traditional ingredients, and we shared our feast with our cats.  We discovered that we didn’t miss the drive to see the extended families, but rather we enjoyed a nice and peaceful holiday.  We thought, “why not do this every year?”

The holidays are so stressful.  Why do we feel the need to increase the stress by visiting our relatives?  Why do we spend what should be the happiest days of the year with those people that we don't take the time to see the rest of the year?  You don't need to have an excuse like working to make Thanksgiving your own holiday because you don't have to spend every holiday with your relatives.  I asserted myself when I told my mother that we would see her at Christmas, but Thanksgiving was going to be just for me, Brian, and the cats.

I give you permission to celebrate it just your immediate family (for those who may feel guilty about not spending it with your extended family).  Just assert yourself and tell your relatives you will see them at Christmas.  If anyone tries to guilt trip you, think to yourself, “Do I really want to spend time with this person?”  I know it can be hard.  The year my mother was diagnosed with cancer, my father and brothers tried guilting me into attending the extended family feast by suggesting it might be Mum’s last.  I declined.  I know some relatives are still angry with me for this.  Tough.  My self-esteem does not hinge on people never being angry with me, and neither should yours.  BTW:  Mum is still alive and now cancer free.

My best-friend Betsy hostesses both her parents and her in-laws (her mothers try to outdo each other every year).  My friends Jim and Lisa go to two Thanksgiving gatherings every year to accommodate both their extended families.  All of these people envy Brian and me for our Thanksgiving Tradition. 

Overnight Turkey Recipe (from my mother-in-law):

On Tuesday before Thanksgiving, marinade the turkey with Jamaican Jerk sauce (Optional, but this step makes very zesty gravy).

Wednesday evening, pre-heat oven to 500 degrees.  Make sure oven is very hot.  Cut an apple in half and an onion in half.  Place these in the cavity of the turkey.  Cook turkey for an hour.  Turn off oven, but DO NOT OPEN OVEN DOOR!  Leave turkey in the oven overnight.  In the morning it will be cooked perfectly.  Discard onion and apple, and enjoy the juicy bird!

Copyright © 2004 by Lori Ann Curley.  Do not reprint or use any part of the above without my permission.  To request permission, send me an e-mail .