"Hi Jon, this is Dan's mom, is he there?" -Jon Tamminga and Mom Dekker on the phone
"No, no. You can't wear that to this class, I already have enough trouble keeping everyone's attention." -Prof. David Laverell
"If they mess it up, they clean it up. If they pee in their pants, they change 'em. I just tie their shoes." -Rebecca DeYoung
"My German Shepard could kick the crap out of your beagle." -Dan Clemo
"Hey, why don't you shut up instead of asking questions about stuff you don't know about?" -Dan Dekker
"I used to be in the smart math class, but then I dropped it because I'm stupid." -Jon Tamminga
"Does God find my jokes funny?" -Dan Clemo
"If I had to do it all over again, I would have stayed single" -A Thrifty customer approaching his second anniversary
"I think we got married on May 9 or 10, and it was 199....sh**!" -Another Thrifty customer
"You know what they say, a fan in the window is like a dog in the pool" -Greg Dekker
"All I know about Dayton, OH is that they have that big car race there." -Rebecca Dekker
"I'll never have the thrill of running through the rain forest with a chainsaw." -Johnny Tuitel, wheelchair-bound leadership speaker
"If you want to make a good commercial, put a monkey in it. If you want it to be great, have him wearing clothes." -Jon Tamminga
"How did you ever get a wife?" -Lindsey Hatfield, Dan's co-worker
"The Most Famous of all Kentucky Breakfasts
A steak A man
1 Quart bourbon whiskey A dog
The man throws the steak to the dog and drinks the whiskey" -Out of Kentucky Kitchens, Copyright 1949