not as strong
read a friend’s entry into her scribble… will
quote her if I can…
i'm
listening to much happier songs now, and thinking of much happier things to do
after the o's.
it's
all over!
Haha. Now,
i feel free again, feel refreshed, to go on and continue my life. :)
feeling very happy for her. wish I could do the same. only thing
is, I think I’m not as strong as she is, no matter how much I’ve been able to
tell her, to encourage her.
it has always been like this. maybe that’s why I want to be a
teacher. those who can’t do, teach. sounds real true for my case. I
can’t play the sax as well as all my juniors, yet I like to think they play
well partly thanks to my teaching. same for this case. I can try all my best to
encourage my friend, to cheer her up. but as for myself… I’m still pretty much
the same loser. still wallowing in my own pity.
resolved to try to forget. still can’t, as I’ve described
unsuccessfully in my previous entry. had to call her in the end. and call her I
did. last night at starbucks, talked for quite a while. caught up on things,
how her exams were, etc. realised I really do enjoy talking to her. she
basically a nice person. how do you forget a nice person?
whoa… just read through my previous paragraph. sounds psychotic.
scary. somehow, after calling her, I feel mixed up. happy yet sad. elevated yet
depressed. I somehow know that things will remain just as nice. just nice only.
nothing further. that’s a nice feeling. arrgh, heck the obsession with the word
nice. but I’m happy just talking to her like that. satisfied.
am I?
I really don’t know. I just read through the previous paragraph,
and that sounds even more psychotic. might just go crazy if I go on like this.
on a happier note, think I’m gonna watch a meteor shower tonite with friends.
2am at east coast park. love day off man… if only I can have more of such off
days. haiz… taiwan is coming. 3 weeks without contact with dear friends and
family? hope I can manage to get auto roaming or something like that.
think I won’t be able to forget, not at least in the near future.
dejectium out
1716 hrs GMT +8
18 november 2001